Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

A-h-h-h-h...a military wedding, 'ey, Craig? I mean, it must've been, given the presence of all the military personnel in attendance. I could completely relate to the feelings of the soon-to-be-doomed protagonist.

"She had Stygian eyes that somehow spoke of incredible resolve and toughness, yet deep compassion."---->Great line, Craig...

This is the second flash fiction tale I've read recently where a wedding was used as the "Ah-ha!" moment for the final reveal.

Well done, and good luck in the voting booths.

Always with respect

~Dean

 Comment Written 24-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2015

Well, there goes my hopes of being original, lol. I hope it wasn't for the same competition.

I didn't exactly mean it to be a military wedding. I guess it just worked in with the story that she was a soldier too; and it seemed quite possible to me that his best mates could well be guys he served with.

Thanks for the good wishes :)

Craig.

reply by Dean Kuch on 24-Oct-2015

I don't recall if it was the same contest or not, Craig.
In any event, you're very welcome.

~Dean

Comment from jpduck

Excellent

Having reached the end of the second paragraph, I almost moved on, for the, to me, very sound reason that I do not like war stories, and certainly won't review them.

Thank goodness I staid with it. I thought this was excellently constructed and very clever. Congratulations. Sadly I'm out of sixers.


Adrian

 Comment Written 24-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2015

Thanks so much for the kind review Adrian. I'm glad you hung around long enough to find out it wasn't a war story after all - I'm not really fond of those either :)

Craig.

Comment from Michaelk

Excellent

Very well done. You set up your reader the whole way only to bowl us over with the last line. Excellent descriptions. Very vivid and set the tension quite well.
I knew about halfway through what you were doing, but that's only because I've written similar stories.
I liked the steady, consistent voice that showed fear but nit panic. It was almost like a 'going to the gallows' type resignation.
Excellent twist at the end.

 Comment Written 24-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2015

Thank you, Michael, for your very positive review. I anticipated that a number of readers would twig before they got to the end - there might even be some who pick it up just from the title - I was afraid that might be too much of a give away. Either way, I had fun writing it. I ended up reworking it a bit more than I usually would, so perhaps I learned something from the experience. Thanks again :) Craig.

Comment from frogbook

Excellent

Great writing and descri0tion. Love flash fiction. Edge of your seat tension. Surprise ending. Best of luck in the contest.

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 Comment Written 24-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2015

Thanks, Frogbook, for your very kind words, and the good wishes. Craig.

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Hi CD Richards, this is a really wonderful entry for this particular competition, a wonderful slant on the way a soldier would feel, great ending line and good infill, I wish you the very best of luck in the contest my friend.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 24-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2015

Thank you so much Eric, for your very kind review of my story, and also for your good wishes. Both are much appreciated.

Craig.

reply by Eric1 on 24-Oct-2015

You are very welcome my friend