A Book of Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "I See You Now"Assorted poems of love
30 total reviews
Comment from mfowler
This is a real step forward, Missy. Really enjoyed this one. Your theme is deep and purposeful. The shallowness of the social media troll and his effect on women. You give it a delicious twist when he finds a woman who won't be broken and turns his own method onto him. I like the flow of the poem, the reasoning and some imagery that gives it punch eg. A collector, yes a collector of dreams, of emotions, of hearts
You know I can't help myself, don't you. Teach time.
Your poem needs no additions. It has the perfect narrative arc and cadence in its revelations. But, you are prone to repetition that doesn't strengthen the rhythm. I've taken the liberty to cut out superfluous words and hope they read well off the page. Try them out and if you like make a change or two. Free verse invites you to put it all out there. The good writers keep telling me edit, edit, edit. Don't leave a word that adds nothing or impedes.
You walked into my life from I know not where
With the opening of that door, you let light shine in
I see you now for who and what you are
A collector, yes a collector of dreams, emotions, hearts
When firmly in your grasp and the light of love is shining brightly
You suddenly grow cold, distant, gone
You're gone before you see the devastation and heartache caused
Yes, collector, I see you now
I see you every day on social media
Where you ply your skills, your trade of broken promises
One day you'll meet that perfect woman
She'll flatter, make you feel like the man in the mirror
Tease you with delicious promises of her devotion, lust
Then when she has you ready to be the fool for love
She'll send you a bill for all the broken hearts you've left behind
As she grows cold, distant...gone
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
  |
This is a real step forward, Missy. Really enjoyed this one. Your theme is deep and purposeful. The shallowness of the social media troll and his effect on women. You give it a delicious twist when he finds a woman who won't be broken and turns his own method onto him. I like the flow of the poem, the reasoning and some imagery that gives it punch eg. A collector, yes a collector of dreams, of emotions, of hearts
You know I can't help myself, don't you. Teach time.
Your poem needs no additions. It has the perfect narrative arc and cadence in its revelations. But, you are prone to repetition that doesn't strengthen the rhythm. I've taken the liberty to cut out superfluous words and hope they read well off the page. Try them out and if you like make a change or two. Free verse invites you to put it all out there. The good writers keep telling me edit, edit, edit. Don't leave a word that adds nothing or impedes.
You walked into my life from I know not where
With the opening of that door, you let light shine in
I see you now for who and what you are
A collector, yes a collector of dreams, emotions, hearts
When firmly in your grasp and the light of love is shining brightly
You suddenly grow cold, distant, gone
You're gone before you see the devastation and heartache caused
Yes, collector, I see you now
I see you every day on social media
Where you ply your skills, your trade of broken promises
One day you'll meet that perfect woman
She'll flatter, make you feel like the man in the mirror
Tease you with delicious promises of her devotion, lust
Then when she has you ready to be the fool for love
She'll send you a bill for all the broken hearts you've left behind
As she grows cold, distant...gone
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
-
Will do as you suggest and look at my words. Thank you for all the time you devote to making my writing better, Mark.
Missy
Comment from Linda Engel
Been there , done that, and right now I've left those guys alone. So true, they start out sweet and interesting and the first time you don't call, be on line, say that you are busy they go all anal on you. Or they swear you are the only one only you seem to see the others pop up over and over and he swears , "She is just a friend". I have heard of a few hook ups that turned out nice and well adjusted but that is few and far between.
Good poem and nicely expressed.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
|
Been there , done that, and right now I've left those guys alone. So true, they start out sweet and interesting and the first time you don't call, be on line, say that you are busy they go all anal on you. Or they swear you are the only one only you seem to see the others pop up over and over and he swears , "She is just a friend". I have heard of a few hook ups that turned out nice and well adjusted but that is few and far between.
Good poem and nicely expressed.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
-
Exactly... Exactly what I see all the time!!!
Missy
Thank you!
Comment from Dawn Munro
OH DAMN!!! I should have waited to review this! What a great poem, and I have no sixes! (I haven't had any since last Sunday evening!) Woman, this rocks!!! And that repeat line? (Or almost repeat - first him, then her!!!) Oh yeah!!!
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
|
OH DAMN!!! I should have waited to review this! What a great poem, and I have no sixes! (I haven't had any since last Sunday evening!) Woman, this rocks!!! And that repeat line? (Or almost repeat - first him, then her!!!) Oh yeah!!!
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
-
Love you girl!!!!
This review rocks the chit out of a 6 hon!!
Missy
Tomorrow I'm dedicating my morning to all of your post hon xx
-
Oh, no worries, my friend. I understand - I am so damn far behind it's a crime! But listen - I just reviewed your sexy contest winner, and the thing is, I am SURE I reviewed it before! (Well, pretty sure - I know I read it!)
Anyway, you are very welcome! Believe me - my pleasure!
-
Xx
-
Xx
-
Xx
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Missy. Unfortunately, that is a two-way street. Some (not all) women also "troll" and are simply playing games or looking for a purse and a nurse as they say. I know what you mean though. This poem says it all. good job, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
|
Hi, Missy. Unfortunately, that is a two-way street. Some (not all) women also "troll" and are simply playing games or looking for a purse and a nurse as they say. I know what you mean though. This poem says it all. good job, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
-
Thank you, Bob. You are right as well :)
Always,
Missy
Comment from barkingdog
Oh how true this is. People need to connect with other people. The internet lets the prey fall victim to the hunters who only want a trophy--the feeling of being loved. They offer nothing in return, but to be gutted, left empty and unable to reach out again.
I like that you take it to the next step. The one where the hunter becomes the victim when he falls for one who treats him just as badly.
Nicely put in free verse.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
|
Oh how true this is. People need to connect with other people. The internet lets the prey fall victim to the hunters who only want a trophy--the feeling of being loved. They offer nothing in return, but to be gutted, left empty and unable to reach out again.
I like that you take it to the next step. The one where the hunter becomes the victim when he falls for one who treats him just as badly.
Nicely put in free verse.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
-
True story here...I did just that...Made a fake page and sought him out and made him crazy for this person he thought was real. Then invited him to join a group...the group was of the women he had played with and broke their hearts...I told him in front of them in a closed chat room who I was and he had been played. He was so apologetic, but they all saw and then I deleted him. The women and I had been kept up to date on all the chats...he was the only one surprised.
Thanks hon for the review and understanding.
Always,
Missy
Never mess with a scorned woman!
-
Was he playing with several women at the same time?
Clever idea, Missy. Too bad you couldn't see his face. lol
-
Yes, he was...all of them my fb friends and we chatted and found him out. It was priceless!!! Even if I couldn't see his face.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
There are women out there who troll also. They are commonly referred to as Gold Diggers. Well written poem that does indeed depict the many downfalls of trying to find love/romance online. Not necessarily the smartest thing people can do.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
|
There are women out there who troll also. They are commonly referred to as Gold Diggers. Well written poem that does indeed depict the many downfalls of trying to find love/romance online. Not necessarily the smartest thing people can do.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
-
True Brett... Sad but true!!
Thanks for stopping by!
Missy
Comment from petalangela
You fast becoming the master of romantic poetry in all it's aspects. Every poem I read of yours is more readable than the one before, better than the one I thought was your best breathtaking
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
|
You fast becoming the master of romantic poetry in all it's aspects. Every poem I read of yours is more readable than the one before, better than the one I thought was your best breathtaking
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
-
Kisses Pet!!!
Thanks hon!
Always,
Missy
Comment from Ric Myworld
Yes, it happened every day. People who just lay back like cats waiting for the innocent canaries. Playing on their obvious weaknesses. Thanks for another fine poem, and I hope it might cause one person to think before they act. :-)
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
|
Yes, it happened every day. People who just lay back like cats waiting for the innocent canaries. Playing on their obvious weaknesses. Thanks for another fine poem, and I hope it might cause one person to think before they act. :-)
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
-
Thanks, Ric, you are the best :)
Always,
Missy
Comment from Ekim777
This poem rings with the bitter truth. We emulate, we imitate. We gaze into a mirror and see what we want to see, we don't see who we are but love for a man is a thing apart. It is a woman's whole existence.
-Ekim777
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
|
This poem rings with the bitter truth. We emulate, we imitate. We gaze into a mirror and see what we want to see, we don't see who we are but love for a man is a thing apart. It is a woman's whole existence.
-Ekim777
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
-
Wow, what a review. A work of art in itself :)
Thank you, so much!!
Always justafan,
Missy
Comment from Dean Kuch
"You walked into my life from I know not where
With the opening of that door, you let the light shine in
So I see you now for who and what you are
A collector, yes a collector of dreams, of emotions, of hearts
When firmly in your grasp and the light of love is shining brightly
You suddenly grow cold, distant and gone
You're gone before you see the devastation and heartache caused
Yes, collector, I see you now
I see you over and over every day on social media
Where you ply your skills, your trade of broken hearts and promises
One day you'll meet that perfect woman
She'll flatter your ego, make you feel like the man you see in the mirror
While teasing you with delicious promises of her devotion, her lust
Then when she has you ready to be the fool for love
She'll send you a bill for all the broken hearts you've left behind
As she grows cold, distant then gone."
Sorry, Missy. I had to copy this to my word processor, then change the font in order to be able to read it. I've included it here so you know that I've done precisely that, and so that perhaps anyone who should happen to see my review and was struggling to make out the text could read it too.
If you enlarged the text some, given that it is a cursive script-type font, that might help somewhat.
Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's get on with the review...
This is precisely why I abstain from getting too personal--revealing intimate intent or information--to anyone on any type of social media site. It can be construed in the wrong manner. There are some who take your kindness and run with it, like you've fallen head-over-heels in love with them, when in reality all you're doing is trying to be polite, perhaps a little flirty. If I want a relationship with a woman, I will ask her for her phone number--flat out--so a private, more personal conversation can be conducted between us. But, to bare all on Facebook, here, or on any other social media site is uncouth.
There are people of both sexes who go out of their way to lead those of the opposite sex on, to deceive them into believing there will be something more substantial--relationship wise--between them.
And that is why you simply avoid those types of individuals like the Bubonic Plague.
~Dean ;)
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
|
"You walked into my life from I know not where
With the opening of that door, you let the light shine in
So I see you now for who and what you are
A collector, yes a collector of dreams, of emotions, of hearts
When firmly in your grasp and the light of love is shining brightly
You suddenly grow cold, distant and gone
You're gone before you see the devastation and heartache caused
Yes, collector, I see you now
I see you over and over every day on social media
Where you ply your skills, your trade of broken hearts and promises
One day you'll meet that perfect woman
She'll flatter your ego, make you feel like the man you see in the mirror
While teasing you with delicious promises of her devotion, her lust
Then when she has you ready to be the fool for love
She'll send you a bill for all the broken hearts you've left behind
As she grows cold, distant then gone."
Sorry, Missy. I had to copy this to my word processor, then change the font in order to be able to read it. I've included it here so you know that I've done precisely that, and so that perhaps anyone who should happen to see my review and was struggling to make out the text could read it too.
If you enlarged the text some, given that it is a cursive script-type font, that might help somewhat.
Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's get on with the review...
This is precisely why I abstain from getting too personal--revealing intimate intent or information--to anyone on any type of social media site. It can be construed in the wrong manner. There are some who take your kindness and run with it, like you've fallen head-over-heels in love with them, when in reality all you're doing is trying to be polite, perhaps a little flirty. If I want a relationship with a woman, I will ask her for her phone number--flat out--so a private, more personal conversation can be conducted between us. But, to bare all on Facebook, here, or on any other social media site is uncouth.
There are people of both sexes who go out of their way to lead those of the opposite sex on, to deceive them into believing there will be something more substantial--relationship wise--between them.
And that is why you simply avoid those types of individuals like the Bubonic Plague.
~Dean ;)
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
-
Dean, I will try and make this easier to read.
I know you are right about staying away from those we can't see or touch but sometimes when all the right words are said...caution goes out the window. ;(
Thanks hon for this very insightful review.
Always,
Missy
-
You're very welcome, Missy. I am ALWAYS cautious and wary, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. I've been burned far too many times to allow it to happen again.
~Dean