How This Critter Crits
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Down & Out--The Adventure Continues"GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!
44 total reviews
Comment from Tessa Kay
This chapter has real atmosphere. I love how you describe the Ayeeeeeen't a kiddin girl when you first saw her sifting through the garbage can. It formed an instant picture in my mind.
And I like the comparison with the birds chirping in the spring. Very fitting.
Am looking forward to the next instalment.
:)
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
  |
This chapter has real atmosphere. I love how you describe the Ayeeeeeen't a kiddin girl when you first saw her sifting through the garbage can. It formed an instant picture in my mind.
And I like the comparison with the birds chirping in the spring. Very fitting.
Am looking forward to the next instalment.
:)
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
-
The first two were from my existing blog post, so any from now on will have to be written fresh. That means I have to squeeze it in between my other projects. Hopefully in a week or so. Meanwhile, thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I enjoyed reading your chapter. Times have changed for the better concerning the Downs Syndrome. I grew up calling it Mongoloid, also. You did a good job and I didn't see any problems. Shirley
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
|
I enjoyed reading your chapter. Times have changed for the better concerning the Downs Syndrome. I grew up calling it Mongoloid, also. You did a good job and I didn't see any problems. Shirley
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
-
Thank you, Shirley. There were so many people who'd never heard of the term that I was beginning to second guess myself. Looking back, it's the idiot part that's particularly offensive. I'm surprised it wasn't questioned at the time.
Comment from alexisleech
I really enjoyed this, Jay, although I'm not quite sure what it has to do with 'How This Critter Crits' You have such a wonderful style of writing, wouldn't it be better if you used this as part of a biographical book? That is a journey I'd love to follow!
Yes, back then we were not quite so politically correct. I remember my dad's horror when a black family was included in a popular TV soap in the eighties, and some of the words he hurled at the screen. I'd forgotten that Down Syndrome kids were called Mongols back then. Because of their eyes, I can understand why, so never even questioned it.
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
|
I really enjoyed this, Jay, although I'm not quite sure what it has to do with 'How This Critter Crits' You have such a wonderful style of writing, wouldn't it be better if you used this as part of a biographical book? That is a journey I'd love to follow!
Yes, back then we were not quite so politically correct. I remember my dad's horror when a black family was included in a popular TV soap in the eighties, and some of the words he hurled at the screen. I'd forgotten that Down Syndrome kids were called Mongols back then. Because of their eyes, I can understand why, so never even questioned it.
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
-
Your point's well-taken, Alexis. I started with the Critter series, which transitioned (If you check back) rather naturally to some basic tenets on writing. That blended into a few blog posts about the writer's life. That should probably have been when I split it off to a separate book.
Thanks for reading and for the suggestion.
Comment from padumachitta
Hi Jay..Ah youth and the things that bring us back to the meorry...in Canada we called these people 'Downs'...and mostly I found they are happy cheerful people...any way...it was an interesting read for me with her in it...I kept wondering if something would happen between them all...
padumachitta
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
|
Hi Jay..Ah youth and the things that bring us back to the meorry...in Canada we called these people 'Downs'...and mostly I found they are happy cheerful people...any way...it was an interesting read for me with her in it...I kept wondering if something would happen between them all...
padumachitta
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
-
No, that's the problem with sticking to the truth of a remembrance. It ended there with her, except, as I mentioned what was kind of her echo until that blended into the background "white noise". Thanks, Padumachitta, for reading and enjoying.
Comment from sandragee
Some of the best times in our youth comes from harebrained ideas by friends. This is some fine storytelling with great imagery. Also it's a nice look back at 1962. We are reminded of how things were with the terminology 'Mongolian Idiot' being accepted by society and how things have changed with the terminology 'Mongolian Idiot' no longer acceptable in today's world.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
|
Some of the best times in our youth comes from harebrained ideas by friends. This is some fine storytelling with great imagery. Also it's a nice look back at 1962. We are reminded of how things were with the terminology 'Mongolian Idiot' being accepted by society and how things have changed with the terminology 'Mongolian Idiot' no longer acceptable in today's world.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
-
Yeah, you are right about the social unexceptibility of that and other terms now that in the day were simply how it was referred to. I appreciate your following, Sandra.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Jay. This piece reminds me in some vague, but true way of "On The Road' by Jack Kerouac. My father was a friend of his and oftren visited him in Greenwich village, New York. Have you read the classic yet, Jay? I think you would enjoy it. Good job...Earthy-sounding. Bob
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
|
Hi, Jay. This piece reminds me in some vague, but true way of "On The Road' by Jack Kerouac. My father was a friend of his and oftren visited him in Greenwich village, New York. Have you read the classic yet, Jay? I think you would enjoy it. Good job...Earthy-sounding. Bob
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
-
No, I haven't read the book, Bob. I'll have to check it out. Of course it was all the rage back then ... which is probably why I passed on it. You know, it was too popular. Too middle-of-the road.
-
Sorry....you are wrong, my friend. The book is considered one of the all time best books EVER written. LOL...I think I am a pretty good judge...And I am sure glad you appreciated my comparison of your writing to that of such a great writer. (: Bob
Comment from OLA THOMAS
Good work, well done with tinges of fun and humour. But the Mongolian Idiot! What a pity left alone to roam the streets. Too sad.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
|
Good work, well done with tinges of fun and humour. But the Mongolian Idiot! What a pity left alone to roam the streets. Too sad.
ola thomas
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
-
Thank you, Ola. I'm glad you were entertained and for your feelings for the young lady.
Comment from Gone but not forgotten
Wow, you're right...the terminology we used in those days is horrid nowadays. But, yes, it was what we knew. Interesting journey for a young man. Brave enough to take off for other worlds besides the one he/they knew. Will continue to follow this story. Of note...if it were me, I would lose the comma at the end of the first sentence. I can't quite figure out why it's there...Cheers!
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
|
Wow, you're right...the terminology we used in those days is horrid nowadays. But, yes, it was what we knew. Interesting journey for a young man. Brave enough to take off for other worlds besides the one he/they knew. Will continue to follow this story. Of note...if it were me, I would lose the comma at the end of the first sentence. I can't quite figure out why it's there...Cheers!
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
-
If you mean after the "I" in "and Marty and I were no longer exhausted" -- done and done. I don't know why it was there either. I think you sneaked it in to embarrass me. Thanks my friend for your keen eye. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from ravenblack
I ain't a-kiddin'- foolish or not, without your rags to...rags adventure, your willingness to explore, you would not be the writer you are today. Part of being a writer is embracing experience. Your closing Twain quote says it all- old and foolisher, a loving nod to yourself knowing that stories lurk everywhere- and you will find them.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
|
I ain't a-kiddin'- foolish or not, without your rags to...rags adventure, your willingness to explore, you would not be the writer you are today. Part of being a writer is embracing experience. Your closing Twain quote says it all- old and foolisher, a loving nod to yourself knowing that stories lurk everywhere- and you will find them.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
-
Ed, you are too kind. A few people were offended with what they felt was an in-your-face use of "Mongolian Idiot", but other than that it's been well-received. I did a lot of learning during those years. Hope there's a little more to learn and that I can still write just as foolish as I am.
Comment from Sis Cat
Quite effective storytelling. I read it closely not only for my enjoyment of your language but also to study your finely crafted writing. I always learn much from studying your writing, your verbs, your word choice, your descriptions.
I do have a couple of questions. You announced at the beginning "Journal Entry, Feb. 7, 1962." Is the entire story derived from the actual journal you wrote? If so, you were a phenomenal writer even in '62. I found my spell of reading a '62 diary broken when you jumped out of that time period and say, " Wait just a doggone minute. Don't forget this was 1962." Later you write, "Now, over fifty years later . . ." I am unsure when the journal ended and your prose began. I suggest using color or font to indicate the journal section. Or you could eliminate your mention of a journal altogether and write a straight prose story.
Thank you for sharing your excellent writing.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
|
Quite effective storytelling. I read it closely not only for my enjoyment of your language but also to study your finely crafted writing. I always learn much from studying your writing, your verbs, your word choice, your descriptions.
I do have a couple of questions. You announced at the beginning "Journal Entry, Feb. 7, 1962." Is the entire story derived from the actual journal you wrote? If so, you were a phenomenal writer even in '62. I found my spell of reading a '62 diary broken when you jumped out of that time period and say, " Wait just a doggone minute. Don't forget this was 1962." Later you write, "Now, over fifty years later . . ." I am unsure when the journal ended and your prose began. I suggest using color or font to indicate the journal section. Or you could eliminate your mention of a journal altogether and write a straight prose story.
Thank you for sharing your excellent writing.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
-
THank you for bringing that up, Andre. It didn't dawn on me that the reader wouldn't know that I was writing a retrospective of my experiences AS THOUGH it were a journal entry in 1962. I was not much of a writer in 1962, though you couldn't have convinced me that my writing wasn't genius and any criticism others might make of it was borne of ignorance. Part of the foolishness.