2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 39 "haiku (lovers embrace)"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
18 total reviews
Comment from jmdg1954
These are great contests, three haiku's for the price of admission. I read these over and over and each time my mind went elsewhere thinking about them.
I can't pick a favorite they are all so cool. I like the play on the word picnic... mosquito pick-neck.
Good luck in the contest. John
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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These are great contests, three haiku's for the price of admission. I read these over and over and each time my mind went elsewhere thinking about them.
I can't pick a favorite they are all so cool. I like the play on the word picnic... mosquito pick-neck.
Good luck in the contest. John
Comment Written 07-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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thank you John :)
Comment from Pantygynt
Three good ones here and numbers two and three have a certain humour - a ghastly play on words with pick- neck and sustainability is well humour sustained right to the bitter end. Good fun these.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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Three good ones here and numbers two and three have a certain humour - a ghastly play on words with pick- neck and sustainability is well humour sustained right to the bitter end. Good fun these.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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thank you pantygynt :)
Comment from sibhus
The line mosquito pick-neck was really funny and very original. A beautiful poem that has wonderfully endearing and tender images. The images of fluttering song birds while the couple embrace is delightful. A great poem.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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The line mosquito pick-neck was really funny and very original. A beautiful poem that has wonderfully endearing and tender images. The images of fluttering song birds while the couple embrace is delightful. A great poem.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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thank you sibhus :)
Comment from robyn corum
love birds sing
while couple kiss and hug
free serenade
-- is DEFINITELY my favorite!
Okay -- I had to read and reread several times before I got the 'picnic' reference! Very clever.
Honestly, your satori line on #3 escapes me. (Sorry!)
Overall a good submission for the contest -- I expect others to be wiser than me! *smile*
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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love birds sing
while couple kiss and hug
free serenade
-- is DEFINITELY my favorite!
Okay -- I had to read and reread several times before I got the 'picnic' reference! Very clever.
Honestly, your satori line on #3 escapes me. (Sorry!)
Overall a good submission for the contest -- I expect others to be wiser than me! *smile*
Comment Written 07-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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thank you robyn, the third haiku was not working, i changed it. :)
Comment from Domino 2
I particularly like the very clever and fun play on words - 'mosquito pick-neck'.
Excellent clever satori in the 3rd to reflect 'energy' sustainability.
Not much in life is free, so a bird serenade is always welcome. :-)
Three top haiku to reflect the theme.
A very strong contender, IMO.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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I particularly like the very clever and fun play on words - 'mosquito pick-neck'.
Excellent clever satori in the 3rd to reflect 'energy' sustainability.
Not much in life is free, so a bird serenade is always welcome. :-)
Three top haiku to reflect the theme.
A very strong contender, IMO.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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thank you domino :)
Comment from rspoet
This haiku suite meets all the rules
And meets them very well
Excellent imagery and satori lines
Very good presentation with the black background
and red rose font
Nothing left to say except
very well done
Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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This haiku suite meets all the rules
And meets them very well
Excellent imagery and satori lines
Very good presentation with the black background
and red rose font
Nothing left to say except
very well done
Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 07-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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thank you rspoet :)
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
When I got to the last stanza I was like - wow... that's a jump! The first two stanzas were so innocent and beautiful and than - bang (pun intended) we are at the last stanza. Maybe that transition didn't flow well but I so enjoyed the first two. Great job.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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When I got to the last stanza I was like - wow... that's a jump! The first two stanzas were so innocent and beautiful and than - bang (pun intended) we are at the last stanza. Maybe that transition didn't flow well but I so enjoyed the first two. Great job.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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thank you michael
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is an interesting take on the subject. The first two poems of the series have concrete imagery. But the third one is more of a statement rather than a haiku with concrete imagery. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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This is an interesting take on the subject. The first two poems of the series have concrete imagery. But the third one is more of a statement rather than a haiku with concrete imagery. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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thank you jeanie