Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Luna of the night"Words to pass on to my children
12 total reviews
Comment from Domino 2
I must admit to not generally liking blank verse, Mary, as in structured verse, I'm always expecting a rhyme, and when one doesn't appear, my nodding head nearly falls off, and I get frustrated. LOL.
In my metered/structured poetry, I look for a rhyme FIRST, and this inspires me to write the next line, so I doubt I'd be able to write blank verse, anyway.
Free verse is another matter, as no structure at all is required, and I often enjoy reading, and sometimes writing this form - so long as various poetic devices are included to differentiate it from prose.
However, you use many multi-syllable apt, interesting and imaginative words here, to ad to the poetic feel.
I'm not sure what you mean by, [t'] in 9th line - do you mean, ['twas']?
I would like to see more meter in your structured poetry, but I seem to recall you saying you struggle with it.
After just a short while of DETERMINED practice, the penny will suddenly drop, and it will become second nature - that's if you want to bother with it. :-)
Anyway, I think I've babbled away long enough. :-)
Best wishes, Ray xx
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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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I must admit to not generally liking blank verse, Mary, as in structured verse, I'm always expecting a rhyme, and when one doesn't appear, my nodding head nearly falls off, and I get frustrated. LOL.
In my metered/structured poetry, I look for a rhyme FIRST, and this inspires me to write the next line, so I doubt I'd be able to write blank verse, anyway.
Free verse is another matter, as no structure at all is required, and I often enjoy reading, and sometimes writing this form - so long as various poetic devices are included to differentiate it from prose.
However, you use many multi-syllable apt, interesting and imaginative words here, to ad to the poetic feel.
I'm not sure what you mean by, [t'] in 9th line - do you mean, ['twas']?
I would like to see more meter in your structured poetry, but I seem to recall you saying you struggle with it.
After just a short while of DETERMINED practice, the penny will suddenly drop, and it will become second nature - that's if you want to bother with it. :-)
Anyway, I think I've babbled away long enough. :-)
Best wishes, Ray xx
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Comment Written 07-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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Thanks Ray for your detailed review which I appreciate, I do struggle with meter, so I just counted syllables. Yes I meant twas, it gets a red line but it is used in poetry (I think) Mary
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so long as you have an apostrophe to abbreviate 'it was' ['twas'], then it's fine as far as I know.
I'm sure you appreciate counting syllables is only a small part of meter.
Anyway, I won't bore you with my comments on it again (IF I remember, LOL), as I realise I'm a nit-picker on the issue, and it's not important to everyone. :-) Cheers, Ray. xx
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I know you would love to say more, I can take it Ray, I am happy to know my mistakes I said I would give it a go but I was not expecting great reviews. I am still betwixt and between coming or going here, Yet habits are hard to break. Mary
Comment from Naxsc
Very nice poetry. I loved how you have described the moon to be various things from the mindset of various people. For the learned ones the calendar, for lovers it is the romance and for the rest of us, a safety giver that keeps us.
Nice comparison. Love the poem, love your writing.
Keep writing more!
All the best in the contest!
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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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Very nice poetry. I loved how you have described the moon to be various things from the mindset of various people. For the learned ones the calendar, for lovers it is the romance and for the rest of us, a safety giver that keeps us.
Nice comparison. Love the poem, love your writing.
Keep writing more!
All the best in the contest!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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Thanks Naxsc I am pleased you enjoyed my blank verse. and I appreciate your review Mary