Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Excellent

This subject is an appropriate for an autumn haiku. The satori line is clever. (Small grammar nitpick: "trees" in the last line needs an apostrophe to show possessive: TREES'). Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015

Hello Jeanie, Thank you very much for the excellent review. :) we are not allowed to use punctuation.

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

A clever sartori here with the personification of bare trees as nudists. Autumn is that point of shedding to show what lies beneath, so it is very apt and amusing to think over. Good haiku style begun with two well constructed lines of imagery to set the autumnal scene. I suspect you will do well with this. It's original.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015

Hello mfowler, Thank you very much for the excellent review. :)

Comment from Emily George

Excellent

Nicely done the font suits the content. I thought the nudist beach line to be both original and inventive. You seem to have covered all the writing prompts.
Good luck with contest.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015

Thank you for the review and kind words. :)

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

I enjoyed your autumn haiku. The presentation is super--great use of color, good job on the syllable count, and great choice of words.

Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015

Thank you Jannypan, I really appreciate your kind and excellent review. :)

Comment from Ben Colder

Excellent

I think this qualifies. The count is right on. The poem is nature base except for the last line. I find nothing wrong. Good contest piece. Perhaps you will win.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015

Thank you Ben :)

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

This could be a fine haiku for the Autumn contest
The syllables are fine at 5-7-4
You have good concrete imagery in the leaves and ground
good grammatical connection in line one and two
satori line is okay
Present tense
But: Prompt says no more than two words with the same letter
You have gold/green/ground
Haiku is personal taste, but yours is very wordy
You might consider: gold and red leaves
adorn frost covered ground
trees nudist beach
I not sure it is the best satori line, but that is up to you
Good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015

Thank you for the helpful feedback. :)

Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

It's difficult to write about autumn without including leaves, and I think I've read and written just about every visual description possible, so it's refreshing to read a different take, with humour - and that's unusual to see in haiku, even though the 'hai' stands for 'humour' - so I've heard.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015

Thank you for the awesome review. :)

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

I'm soooo slow! It actually took me a minute to GET THIS! I was still thinking human nudists! Silly me --

A very cute way of personifying nature! kudos!

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015

THANK YOU ROBYN :)

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

I love the satori line and the imagery in it. It is a great 'aha' moment. The imagery in the interconnected lines is a bit weak in my opinion.

teresa

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 Comment Written 01-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015

THANK YOU TERESA :)

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Ha ha ha ha ..trees nudist beach...

I love this they must be birch trees ..

Any way this is great

Well penned ...

God bless

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015

thank you kiwijenny :)