Christine's Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 85 "Night stalker"Poems /stories on Fanstory
15 total reviews
Comment from Jackreese
In the amount of words you were allocate you did what you needed to. The mood was set and the atmosphere was dark and what happens next is left to the imagination.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2015
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In the amount of words you were allocate you did what you needed to. The mood was set and the atmosphere was dark and what happens next is left to the imagination.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2015
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Thanks Jack for taking the time to read and review this story. A hundred words adds up quickly so tried to fit the best scare into them. What happens next, mane next instalment lol Cheers Christine😃
Comment from pbroussard209
Great and very creepy story. I enjoyed reading this one hundred word story. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. I think the line below needs a word to flow better. I know it has to be 100 words, so If you want my advice, (I will offer it anyway, lol) delete the word "there" from your last line. (I know you're alone) works just as well.
nothing (but) my imagination working overtime.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2015
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Great and very creepy story. I enjoyed reading this one hundred word story. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. I think the line below needs a word to flow better. I know it has to be 100 words, so If you want my advice, (I will offer it anyway, lol) delete the word "there" from your last line. (I know you're alone) works just as well.
nothing (but) my imagination working overtime.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2015
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Thank you pbroussard209 very much for your comments and advice I will revisit and consider your suggestions. I really do appreciate advice from readers and Thanks you for your time and also the great rating .wasn't sure how it would read .Cheers Christine😀
Comment from Dean Kuch
Well, for your first attempt you've certainly done an excellent job of it, Chrissy. You engage many of our senses and emotions here--sound, sight, fear, terror (just to name a few)-- then you smack us all upside the head with the revelation that a creeper is lurking right outside your protagonists open window. But that's not the worst of it, not by a long shot. This freak--this voyeuristic creeper--also knows that she's all alone.
Well done, an excellent horror short.
Best of luck to you in the contest, my friend. ~Dean ;)
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2015
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Well, for your first attempt you've certainly done an excellent job of it, Chrissy. You engage many of our senses and emotions here--sound, sight, fear, terror (just to name a few)-- then you smack us all upside the head with the revelation that a creeper is lurking right outside your protagonists open window. But that's not the worst of it, not by a long shot. This freak--this voyeuristic creeper--also knows that she's all alone.
Well done, an excellent horror short.
Best of luck to you in the contest, my friend. ~Dean ;)
Comment Written 04-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2015
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wow thank you so much Dean ( coming from the Master horror story teller I feel really honoured you like this) and hope I cand do justice to the contest requirements. Yes have never written like this before but wondered what one may do in this type of situation. With much appreciation and thank you for your review Cheers Christine😃
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The pleasure was all mine, Christine.
You do horror well.
Oh, btw, were you aware that author Stephen King wrote a book about you awhile back? Just thought you'd like to know, heh-heh...
Good luck to you! ~Dean ;)
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Hi Dean was that the one about the car ? Lol
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Yes, it sure was, Christine. Vroom-Vroom, heh-heh...
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A car by any other name wouldn't be as scary lol
Comment from Mark Valentine
Great job! It's very hard to build up to a climax, the way you did here, in just 100 words. I love the staccato sentence fragments as they mirror the way the mind works when one is frightened, flitting from one though to another. One SPAG note, the "your", should be "you're" in "I know you're there alone".
Also I was wondering if by "caravan" you meant that you were with a group of cars travelling together, or if you were in a Dodge Caravan - if the latter, Caravan should be capitalized.
I loved this one and you should do very well in the contest.
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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2015
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Great job! It's very hard to build up to a climax, the way you did here, in just 100 words. I love the staccato sentence fragments as they mirror the way the mind works when one is frightened, flitting from one though to another. One SPAG note, the "your", should be "you're" in "I know you're there alone".
Also I was wondering if by "caravan" you meant that you were with a group of cars travelling together, or if you were in a Dodge Caravan - if the latter, Caravan should be capitalized.
I loved this one and you should do very well in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2015
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Thank you Mark for reading and reviewing and your suggestions. The Caravan is one rented in a Caravan park so if that is the case I best change to a capital ( not sure what a Dodge Caravan is ( is that a brand of Caravan ? ) thanks for picking up the Spags . I am glad you like this. Cheers Christine😄
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements beautifully with a correct word count and terrifying story line. Well done, Christine, as this is a good little piece of terror. I thought you built the tension nicely and loved the way you ended it. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2015
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This meets the contest requirements beautifully with a correct word count and terrifying story line. Well done, Christine, as this is a good little piece of terror. I thought you built the tension nicely and loved the way you ended it. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2015
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Thanks Monica for your review of my first horror attempt I am so glad you liked it and as you know I will have a try of different things so though why not . I though I would leave it to the reader imagination as to what happens. ( could be next chapter lol) Cheers Christine😃