Snippets
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Ryan's Tears"A collection of 150 word, or less, short stories
17 total reviews
Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson
Oh, that is such a sweet story. This is the type of war story I like to read. They do not all end this nicely. Keeping Ryan and his family in my prayers always. Your poem is wonderful. The artwork is great. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
  |
Oh, that is such a sweet story. This is the type of war story I like to read. They do not all end this nicely. Keeping Ryan and his family in my prayers always. Your poem is wonderful. The artwork is great. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
-
Thanks for your comments and support. This was a scene those in attendance will never forget.
-
Oh, I can only imagine. I imagine the tears of happiness that rained down that day. I am thrilled Ryan's daddy made it home and that his home coming was such a delight. I truly loved that story.
Comment from mvbrooks
You've met the challenge of telling a complete story in under 100 words. It is easy to visualize, plausible, and heart-warming.
Editing note:
"Sensing his sadness his Mother convinced..."
--need a comma after "sadness"
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
|
You've met the challenge of telling a complete story in under 100 words. It is easy to visualize, plausible, and heart-warming.
Editing note:
"Sensing his sadness his Mother convinced..."
--need a comma after "sadness"
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
-
Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much.
Comment from Ben Colder
You might wish to make a change and not use the fact it is true. The contest calls for fiction. Just change it created from a truth or something near it. Just a thought.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
|
You might wish to make a change and not use the fact it is true. The contest calls for fiction. Just change it created from a truth or something near it. Just a thought.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
-
No. I do not believe I will change it. This was a true event those in attendance will never forget. Appreciate your comments and support though.
-
Mine was true to the bone but had no chance so I zapped it. The contest called for fiction. Hard to spin truth to be fiction. Blessings to you. Hope you did well.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
This was very well written given the confines of the 100 word brief. A great tear-jerking tale. Wonderfully life affirming too.
Good luck in the contest.
GMG
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
|
Hi there,
This was very well written given the confines of the 100 word brief. A great tear-jerking tale. Wonderfully life affirming too.
Good luck in the contest.
GMG
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
-
This was an event those in attendance will never forget. Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from TPAC
Writer tells of a past occurrence, story detailing a young lad, he is rewarded an opportunity to start a game, him providing the first pitch, surprise coming after his pitch -I thought it was touching
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
|
Writer tells of a past occurrence, story detailing a young lad, he is rewarded an opportunity to start a game, him providing the first pitch, surprise coming after his pitch -I thought it was touching
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
-
This was an event those in attendance will never forget. Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent story and well told in so few words. What a joy it must have been for the little boy to be surprised by his father like that. All the best in the contest. Ulla
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
|
Excellent story and well told in so few words. What a joy it must have been for the little boy to be surprised by his father like that. All the best in the contest. Ulla
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
-
This was an event those in attendance will never forget. Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from Paul Greatrix
Genuinely gave me shivers. Im a sucker for storys like this. I saw a video of a little kid whose father was deployed. The kid gave his fayher a trinket to take with him. That christmas, the kids school class were told to write to santa and ask for a present because they were visiting santas grotto that year. The little kid only ask for his daddy. It was heartbreaking when they filmed the class at the grotto. All these kids were sitting on santas lap and getting the gifts theyd written for, except this one kid. His little face was so heart breaking. When it came to his turn to sit on santas lap he had to explain that he hadnt asked for a toy. Then santa promptly gave him something... the trinket he'd given his daddy. Santa pulled down his beard, and I think you can guess who he really was.
A childs love for hos father is immortal, and im glad to have read this story of yours.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
 |
Genuinely gave me shivers. Im a sucker for storys like this. I saw a video of a little kid whose father was deployed. The kid gave his fayher a trinket to take with him. That christmas, the kids school class were told to write to santa and ask for a present because they were visiting santas grotto that year. The little kid only ask for his daddy. It was heartbreaking when they filmed the class at the grotto. All these kids were sitting on santas lap and getting the gifts theyd written for, except this one kid. His little face was so heart breaking. When it came to his turn to sit on santas lap he had to explain that he hadnt asked for a toy. Then santa promptly gave him something... the trinket he'd given his daddy. Santa pulled down his beard, and I think you can guess who he really was.
A childs love for hos father is immortal, and im glad to have read this story of yours.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
-
Yes, I am always so pleased to see how this great country of ours welcomes our military home. And, to witness this first hand was AMAZING! Something I do not believe any one in attendance will ever forget. Thank you for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much indeed.