Comment from pbroussard209

Excellent

Well, I certainly don't want to be invited to his birthday party, lol. Great job in creating a big surprise ending and I wish you all the luck in the contest. It is so hard to create a complete story in so few words, I commend you.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015

Thank you, pbroussard, for your very kind comments. Much appreciated.

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

Ouch! This meets the contest requirements beautifully with a correct word count. This is very clever to use a current event to tell the story and the ending line is stunning. It was a surprise in more than one way. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015

Thanks so much for your lovely review, Mystic Angel -- much appreciated.

Comment from mvbrooks

Good

The story starts strong and draws the reader in.

There's not enough here to explain where the arrow came from or why--so it's not a "complete" story. Why was the sound familiar? Why was the killer invited to the party? etc??????

Editing note:
"Turning the knob and stepping inside he saw his wife..."
--need to add a comma after "inside" to set off the introductory phrase.

"...ominous click, then the familiar..."
--need to either change the comma to a semicolon, or add a conjunction (such as "and") after the comma because you are attaching two complete sentences here.

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 Comment Written 02-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015

Thank you for the suggestions. I think I have three words left out of my 80 allotted, so if I have time, I'll try to work in more background plot :)

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is definitely a surprise ending. so many people are writing about cecil the lion I shouldn't be surprised, lol. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015

Thank you, sweetwoodjax, for checking out my story, and for your good wishes. Much appreciated.

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Hi Mystery author, this is a really good entry for this particular competition, bang up to date and one of the best surprise endings I have ever read, I wish you the best of luck in the contest my friend.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015

Thank you for your very kind review, Eric - much appreciated!

reply by Eric1 on 02-Aug-2015

You are very welcome my friend

Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

Lol...you are one sick man
You just killed him, didn't you?
Lol
Well, I suppose...

Oh nevermind
Go to work young man!
Lol

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015

I haven't been called that in a long time (young, that is, not sick)! Mistaken identity?
Thanks for the kind review :)

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

well, this is unique and surprising although it leaves a lot of questions on its trail but that is probably what a good story is, it engages to ask for answers.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings!
rebekka x

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015

Thanks, Rebekka, for your kind review. Not too many questions, if you skim the new headlines lately! Much appreciated.

Comment from Paul Greatrix

Excellent

Haha. Talk about surprises! I cant think of a worse present for your birthday. I hope they kept the receipt; im certain he'll want to return it for something nicer.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015

Well, I'm sure whomever did the deed will apologise profusely afterwards to anyone who may have liked him! Thanks for reviewing, much appreciated.