To The End Of Love
Dance me till the end of love24 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
HELLO TK,
We as writers have reasons we write. I like yours. Just check over I believe are nits
I would like to give you a ive.
Sometimes people ask me where or how do I get the inspiration ((of the things I write..))
(of the things I write)
I say, like many a writer, I don't really have an answer for ((that.)) (take out)
It may have been an old man sitting alone in a rocking chair on a porch on a ((sweltering)) (check spelling hot southern night thinking about his wife who has passed.
It may have been a loving kiss between two lovers on a beach (comma) perhaps a child crying over a lost pet
. But I can say the one thing that has inspired me most is the words of others. Their stories, (space) (after stories) their heart breaks, their lost loves ((as well )) ((space)),and yes that love ( don't repeat that )) that lasted for ever.
I have danced many times to the end of love. There have been times the music has ended long before I wished it had.
But at times it also lasted too long and I was not aware enough that I was dancing a rhapsody in blue. Sometimes, as now, that rhapsody is shared by both.
Sad yes, but truth has a way surfacing. A rhapsody in blue, shared by two, heals much faster than that shared by only one. Both will take many memories, both good and not so good, ((;))store them in, what I call, the cedar chest of our minds.
Let us hope that neither loses the key that opens that chest. For if one does then the time they spent together will mean nothing more than a fleeting moment in their life . That would be very sad indeed.
PS Put your thoughts into paragraphs.
Gert
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
   |
HELLO TK,
We as writers have reasons we write. I like yours. Just check over I believe are nits
I would like to give you a ive.
Sometimes people ask me where or how do I get the inspiration ((of the things I write..))
(of the things I write)
I say, like many a writer, I don't really have an answer for ((that.)) (take out)
It may have been an old man sitting alone in a rocking chair on a porch on a ((sweltering)) (check spelling hot southern night thinking about his wife who has passed.
It may have been a loving kiss between two lovers on a beach (comma) perhaps a child crying over a lost pet
. But I can say the one thing that has inspired me most is the words of others. Their stories, (space) (after stories) their heart breaks, their lost loves ((as well )) ((space)),and yes that love ( don't repeat that )) that lasted for ever.
I have danced many times to the end of love. There have been times the music has ended long before I wished it had.
But at times it also lasted too long and I was not aware enough that I was dancing a rhapsody in blue. Sometimes, as now, that rhapsody is shared by both.
Sad yes, but truth has a way surfacing. A rhapsody in blue, shared by two, heals much faster than that shared by only one. Both will take many memories, both good and not so good, ((;))store them in, what I call, the cedar chest of our minds.
Let us hope that neither loses the key that opens that chest. For if one does then the time they spent together will mean nothing more than a fleeting moment in their life . That would be very sad indeed.
PS Put your thoughts into paragraphs.
Gert
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
-
Thank you very much Lady G Was not one of my better ones that's for sure....It should really not have been even posted lol...That's what happens after you spent 2 hrs in the dentist chair and he gives you a prescription for pain pills... Which BTW I was glad he did..Then you take 3 fingers of Jack Daniels to wash them down with....Sit at the computer and write what you think is the beginning of the next great American novel Well I think there are a few lines in there that could be salvaged and put into something to redeem myself LOL
TK
-
You are welcome TK
Pain pills three shots of JD and then to write on your computer does not mix well.
Gert
-
It sure does not but I was feeling nooooo pain at all lol
-
Smiles reminds me of the last time I had a tooth extracted.
A bit too tipsy.
Gert
Comment from K. Lorraine
Dear Sir Knight...
I didn't like this poem as I've loved the others you've penned...
My heart felt the pain of knowing the meaning behind your words. I loved the man I first married, but in time this love faded through betrayal. He later died and my heart still carries the hole of which cannot be filled by another.
Please tell me that this prose is not about you... but I fear it is. I've come to know you and your style of writing. This piece is dark and heavy with numerous grammatical mistakes. Your mind is clouded and I sense loneliness and the passing of love and the fear of being called home. Even the picture and the black and white imagery leads me to believe that you are on your mountain top seeking guidance and answers.
The lyrics in the song...
"Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove"
sends panic and fear through my soul.
"You can hear the sound
Of your heart breaking
From the love she's taking from you
Song it's making
Is like a rhapsody in blue"
Please, Sir Knight, fill me up with the hope that you and Ginger are still smiling and delightfully and happily in love. And ease my mind that you are well in body, spirit and in mind. You have inspired me so many times to continue on and I refuse to believe that you have danced to the end of love and what was is no longer is...
I feel like you are a close friend who knows what I need to need to hear. And your poetry is my cathartic medicine. Hugs, Lady K.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
|
Dear Sir Knight...
I didn't like this poem as I've loved the others you've penned...
My heart felt the pain of knowing the meaning behind your words. I loved the man I first married, but in time this love faded through betrayal. He later died and my heart still carries the hole of which cannot be filled by another.
Please tell me that this prose is not about you... but I fear it is. I've come to know you and your style of writing. This piece is dark and heavy with numerous grammatical mistakes. Your mind is clouded and I sense loneliness and the passing of love and the fear of being called home. Even the picture and the black and white imagery leads me to believe that you are on your mountain top seeking guidance and answers.
The lyrics in the song...
"Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove"
sends panic and fear through my soul.
"You can hear the sound
Of your heart breaking
From the love she's taking from you
Song it's making
Is like a rhapsody in blue"
Please, Sir Knight, fill me up with the hope that you and Ginger are still smiling and delightfully and happily in love. And ease my mind that you are well in body, spirit and in mind. You have inspired me so many times to continue on and I refuse to believe that you have danced to the end of love and what was is no longer is...
I feel like you are a close friend who knows what I need to need to hear. And your poetry is my cathartic medicine. Hugs, Lady K.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
-
Good morning Lady K. Was not one of my better ones that's for sure....It should really not have been even posted lol...That's what happens after you spent 2 hrs in the dentist chair and he gives you a prescription for pain pills... Which BTW I was glad he did..Then you take 3 fingers of Jack Daniels to wash them down with....Sit at the computer and write what you think is the beginning of the next great American novel Never never do that lol Well I think there are a few lines in there that could be salvaged and put into something to redeem myself. Ginger and I are going our separate ways Some difference that can not be resolved no matter how long we would try...But I promise I will be more light hearted on the next one and not be taking any pain pills with 3 fingers of Jack !!HUGS TK
-
Dear Sir Knight,
Thank you for filling in the blanks. Agreed that you've written better. I'm so sorry to hear about your ending marriage. You look so happy in your family picture. No more pain pills and JD. Bring back the old TK that we all know. Keep the faith and I'll check in again soon. You are not alone, hugs, Lady K.
Comment from Sasha
I wish I had a 6 left to give you for this. Beautifully written and I just loved the video. I've heard it before but seeing it sung was inspirational, to say the least.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
|
I wish I had a 6 left to give you for this. Beautifully written and I just loved the video. I've heard it before but seeing it sung was inspirational, to say the least.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
-
Thank you very much SG Was not one of my better ones that's for sure....It should really not have been even posted lol...That's what happens after you spent 2 hrs in the dentist chair and he gives you a prescription for pain pills... Which BTW I was glad he did..Then you take 3 fingers of Jack Daniels to wash them down with....Sit at the computer and write what you think is the beginning of the next great American novel...Never ,never do that Well I think there are a few lines in there that could be salvaged and put into something to redeem myself At least I picked a good song to add to it lol
-
I disagree with you completely. I felt that was an excellent post and while I am sorry you spent 2 hours in the dentist chair, I enjoyed every word of it!
Comment from BeasPeas
I enjoyed reading this, TK. So many things drive us to write. Thank you for sharing this. I have been trying to track down the music for "Dancing at the Blue Iguana" and you helped with this in speaking about Lenard Cohen's "Dance Me To The End of Love." Watched the video--touchingly beautiful.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
|
I enjoyed reading this, TK. So many things drive us to write. Thank you for sharing this. I have been trying to track down the music for "Dancing at the Blue Iguana" and you helped with this in speaking about Lenard Cohen's "Dance Me To The End of Love." Watched the video--touchingly beautiful.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
-
Thank you very much Lady Peas....Was written after spending 2 hrs in the dentist ..Then taking pain pill prescription while washing it down with 3 fingers of Jack Daniels OH!!! never never do that...Lots of mistakes in this, which while writing it, thought it was going to be the beginning of the next great American novel... Woke up the next morning and said to myself "Self. I hope you did not post that" Too late I did lol Glad you liked my pick of music though hehe
TK
-
Oh-oh, posted when you were a bit high? In any case you didn't say anything untoward. Grateful to watch the video of that wonderful song. Beautiful. Marilyn
Comment from angelface2
First of all, I think this should be under the heading of commentary and philosophy and not romance poetry. You are writing about the way you write. It is well written, but it is not really a poem, nor, to the best of my knowledge, is it prose. :>) Miss Sally
inspired me most is the the.. eliminate one the..
their stories, their heart.. space after comma.
For if one does, then the time.. add comma
that would be sad, very sad, indeed.. add commas
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
|
First of all, I think this should be under the heading of commentary and philosophy and not romance poetry. You are writing about the way you write. It is well written, but it is not really a poem, nor, to the best of my knowledge, is it prose. :>) Miss Sally
inspired me most is the the.. eliminate one the..
their stories, their heart.. space after comma.
For if one does, then the time.. add comma
that would be sad, very sad, indeed.. add commas
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
-
Now Miss Sally I agree with every word you said Here is my excuse which is true BTW.. Was written after spending 2 hrs in the dentist ..Then taking pain pill prescription while washing it down with 3 fingers of Jack Daniels OH!!! never never do that...Lots of mistakes in this, which while writing it, thought it was going to be the beginning of the next great American novel... Woke up the next morning and said to myself "Self. I hope you did not post that" Too late I did lol
TK
-
Oh Tk. Thanks for the explanation. I got my belly laugh for the day. :>)
Comment from TAB_that's me
A different style for you. Prose poetry is not my favorite but you have done it well TK. I like 'danced...to the end of love'.
teresa
|
A different style for you. Prose poetry is not my favorite but you have done it well TK. I like 'danced...to the end of love'.
teresa
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Thank you for the author notes. I agree with you, and I think words written are from the heart and soul, in one form or another, at those times when we need to express them.
-This is a very different piece, but it was effectively written and still had vivid imagery to support your ideas.
-The reader knows from the inspirations you mention, that they come from the heart.
-I liked the reference to "rhapsody in blue". I also like "the cedar chest of our minds."
-I will check out the Leonard Cohen song when I get a chance.
|
-Thank you for the author notes. I agree with you, and I think words written are from the heart and soul, in one form or another, at those times when we need to express them.
-This is a very different piece, but it was effectively written and still had vivid imagery to support your ideas.
-The reader knows from the inspirations you mention, that they come from the heart.
-I liked the reference to "rhapsody in blue". I also like "the cedar chest of our minds."
-I will check out the Leonard Cohen song when I get a chance.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
inspiration of the things I write..(inspiration for, omit one of the periods or add one for an ellipsis)
Their stories,their heart breaks (space after comma)
For if one does then the time they spent together
(For if one does, the time they spent together)
Sad Yes (Sad, yes, but)
A few changes I would suggest are above.
That would be sad very sad indeed (That would be sad, very sad indeed)
It amazes me what inspires what I write, a word, thought, tree etc.
A few changes I would suggest are above.
I hate giving something so meaningful a four, but this does have quite a few spags. I hope you understand, my friend~Debbie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
inspiration of the things I write..(inspiration for, omit one of the periods or add one for an ellipsis)
Their stories,their heart breaks (space after comma)
For if one does then the time they spent together
(For if one does, the time they spent together)
Sad Yes (Sad, yes, but)
A few changes I would suggest are above.
That would be sad very sad indeed (That would be sad, very sad indeed)
It amazes me what inspires what I write, a word, thought, tree etc.
A few changes I would suggest are above.
I hate giving something so meaningful a four, but this does have quite a few spags. I hope you understand, my friend~Debbie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
Comment from judiverse
Does it always have to be parting? Great line, "A rhapsody in blue, shared by two, heals much faster than that shared by only one." Cedar chest of the mind is really excellent. I agree that we are not only inspired by what we see and experience but by the words of others. Many times they can lead to a wonderful piece of writing. Great expression in this, and genuine emotion. judi
|
Does it always have to be parting? Great line, "A rhapsody in blue, shared by two, heals much faster than that shared by only one." Cedar chest of the mind is really excellent. I agree that we are not only inspired by what we see and experience but by the words of others. Many times they can lead to a wonderful piece of writing. Great expression in this, and genuine emotion. judi
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
Comment from misscookie
Bravo, bravo.
I enjoyed reading your write very much. your words are filled with deep emotion as a writer thinks, sees, and feels is how a writer pens. LOL
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
|
Bravo, bravo.
I enjoyed reading your write very much. your words are filled with deep emotion as a writer thinks, sees, and feels is how a writer pens. LOL
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015