Comment from meggie13

Excellent

Seems like she inherited the old house. She turned the old television on , nothing to watch. The last click happened to be her life on the screen. Everything she had done, she panicked, ran to the door and into a knife . Someone wanted her dead. This is what I call a thriller not a clue of her tragic ending. Excellent, I liked it.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Thank you for stopping by, my friend~Debbie

reply by meggie13 on 20-Jul-2015

You are very welcome , Debbie. Your friend, meggie.

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Debbie...

_ Good story.
_ You're becoming quite good at this terror stuff, my friend!
_ Another great chapter to this book.

_ Here are a couple of corrections for you.

Add 't' to though
_ 'Must have been the wind', she though(t),

Below, I have given you the formula to insert 'ellipses' correctly into your work.

::Formula:: word,space,control,alt,period,space,word

Correct way to use ellipses in this section.
_ teen year ... and then ... [F] (f)ear gripped her.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)


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 Comment Written 20-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Thank you. I think I fixed it. I value your helpful reviews, my friend~Debbie

reply by Jacqueline M Franklin on 20-Jul-2015

You're very welcome.

Your ellipses look good. (*>*)
One thing. In-between ellipses, because they are designed to show an omission of words/pause, you use 'lower case,' such as:

Yours: years ... And then ... Fear gripped her.
Mine: years ... and then ... fear gripped her.

Example of omission of words with ellipses, such as someone waking up stranded in the desert.

thirsty ... lips parched ... lost ... need help.

Great story. You're getting very good at it, my friend. (*>*)

reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Thank you. I'll get the hang of writing stories, eventually (I hope)~Debbie

reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Thank you, my friend. I'll learn how to write prose, eventually (I hope)~Debbie

reply by Jacqueline M Franklin on 20-Jul-2015

Hey, you're doing great. (*<*)

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello Debbie,

I remember, This is your Life Show. That was a long time ago.
I like your story- This Was Your Life. It is creepy and I love creepy :) Did she see in the TV how she was going to die?
Good job!


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 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Yes, a very long time ago. Glad you enjoyed this one, my friend~Debbie