To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Narrowing Pathways"Free Verse Poetry
22 total reviews
Comment from Sefiros
This is like four separate poems. There's a bit of trouble with the line breaks: it seems I was told/by someone old/that colors . . . it kinda jerked me out of the poem's flow. But everything else was good. Keep on writing.
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reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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This is like four separate poems. There's a bit of trouble with the line breaks: it seems I was told/by someone old/that colors . . . it kinda jerked me out of the poem's flow. But everything else was good. Keep on writing.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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You seem to have missed the point of this altogether. In certain forms the line breaks are dictated by the requirements of the form. In a nonet there is a syllable requirement, line one is 9 syllables, line two is 8, line three is 7, and so one down to line nine which is 1 syllable. It can be reversed as well. There is no variance allowed. I find it helpful to read the reviews of more experienced poets to get my bearings on occasion. Thanks for reading, mikey
Comment from Megalips
Michael,
You're leading me down a pathway of metaphor and symbolism, surrounded by imagery and probing for justice and hope. Your reference to 'race' and 'color' suggest to me your concern about inequality and bigotry. I like the picture and the imaginary shapes created by words in the poem which pose intrigue.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Michael,
You're leading me down a pathway of metaphor and symbolism, surrounded by imagery and probing for justice and hope. Your reference to 'race' and 'color' suggest to me your concern about inequality and bigotry. I like the picture and the imaginary shapes created by words in the poem which pose intrigue.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Pleased you liked this. Free verse is my natural habitat. I tend to wander off into the various other forms the site offers, so I don't come home to this very often. You are hitting on points that I'm hoping are noticed and that delights me. Thanks so much. mikey
Comment from tbacha58
My dearest Mickey, you are never ever alone, i was away as you know, but had some health problems in SF, now i am in Montreal, and slowly i will be back. I could not go to LA this year, would have loved to meet u, but hopeful next year i would go. My health is much better, the doctors were afraid that i might be starting to have dementia, and some little heart problems, but thank God, i am actually getting positive results, and it is lifting up my moral. I felt a lot of change in your poems message, and in general, don't let me worry about you , miss you and take care, God bless you both. Love Terry xxoox
Your poem has so much meanings and depth, as usual. Sorry i have been dormant for nearly a year. xooxxo
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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My dearest Mickey, you are never ever alone, i was away as you know, but had some health problems in SF, now i am in Montreal, and slowly i will be back. I could not go to LA this year, would have loved to meet u, but hopeful next year i would go. My health is much better, the doctors were afraid that i might be starting to have dementia, and some little heart problems, but thank God, i am actually getting positive results, and it is lifting up my moral. I felt a lot of change in your poems message, and in general, don't let me worry about you , miss you and take care, God bless you both. Love Terry xxoox
Your poem has so much meanings and depth, as usual. Sorry i have been dormant for nearly a year. xooxxo
Comment Written 19-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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I am so delighted to hear you're feeling better. I knew you would. You haven't shown any signs of anything wrong with that brain of yours. :))
I'm terribly busy and kept from the site this year so I'm not posting as much or getting by to review etc. But I still check in. Thank God we have this little oasis to keep in touch with! Looking forward to chatting more, Mum. Love, mikey. Oh yeah, thank you for all the stars and wonderful review too!!
Comment from Dean Kuch
Your poem, written in (we'll simply call it...u-m-m-m-m...Cahillistic form, for simplicities sake, ) true Cahillistic format was very intriguing, Mikey. I read it three times to try to wrap my head around the ambiguity of it all, and I believe I grasped the majority of what you're trying to convey here. Free verse poetry is not now, nor has ever been my forte when it comes to poetry. That's why I rarely write any of my own.
I detect a bit of frustration, a terse, abrupt admonition of all types of hatred and bigotry. There are several references made to color here; dreaming in color, and having "gouged your eyes out" after having seen color. Light and dark (in both the physical and metaphorical sense, I think), black & white...
A very intriguing poem, in true Cahillistic style...
That'll do, pig. That'll do, heh-heh...
~Dean ;)
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
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Your poem, written in (we'll simply call it...u-m-m-m-m...Cahillistic form, for simplicities sake, ) true Cahillistic format was very intriguing, Mikey. I read it three times to try to wrap my head around the ambiguity of it all, and I believe I grasped the majority of what you're trying to convey here. Free verse poetry is not now, nor has ever been my forte when it comes to poetry. That's why I rarely write any of my own.
I detect a bit of frustration, a terse, abrupt admonition of all types of hatred and bigotry. There are several references made to color here; dreaming in color, and having "gouged your eyes out" after having seen color. Light and dark (in both the physical and metaphorical sense, I think), black & white...
A very intriguing poem, in true Cahillistic style...
That'll do, pig. That'll do, heh-heh...
~Dean ;)
Comment Written 19-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
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You are right on the money. Free verse is meant to be a little more loose I think. It has some space for interpretation and also lets the writer have some freedom too. Thanks for all the time you spent. Your insights are in line with what I'm putting forth. I laughing thinking what someone would think if they didn't get the "Babe" referance. Hahaha. "What's he mean, 'pig'?" mikey
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Ha, ha...that "Babe" reference sorta sneaked it's way in, Mikey. My daughter was watching Babe as I was writing your review. It was at the very end of the movie where "the man", farmer Arthur Hoggett, looks down at Babe after having won the first place ribbon for sheep herding and utters those famous lines. The movie and my review ended at the same time, so I felt it only appropriate to do so, LOL.
Good job, buddy, and congrats again on your 1-6-1 win.
~Dean
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, Michael, great imagery presented about the way we are taught race division from an early age and it's hard to break away from it.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
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this is an excellent write, Michael, great imagery presented about the way we are taught race division from an early age and it's hard to break away from it.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
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So pleased you enjoyed. You caught the meaning exactly. Thank you so much. mikey
Comment from ellie6
An enigmatic poem. it has to be read a couple of times to appreciate the full meaning. The line 'superiority became a matter of brute force' is cynically true. Very deep thoughts.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
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An enigmatic poem. it has to be read a couple of times to appreciate the full meaning. The line 'superiority became a matter of brute force' is cynically true. Very deep thoughts.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
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Thank you for your wonderful insights and a great review. Much appreciated. mikey
Comment from hannahorion
Free verse: Title: Narrowing Pathways. Comment: This poem appears to have been centre formatted in order for its lines to form a picture on the page. That image is of arrows drawing the readers attention downwards until the final lines "a select few stand alone". The select few or the one who stands alone are those who have asked why color was splashed across the sky. These are they who send light into the future, who receive it from the past and pass it on. But there is a mystery here why the meeting was called to order in ans wer to the question about color. For the same reason "Twas my eyes saw color--I gouged them out" and "I heard "race" ... had my ears impaled". This mystery is not commonly known "the rest of us struggle to fit in". This is an engrossing poem which stirs the mind to seek deeper meaning than literal ones. I gave it five stars.
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Free verse: Title: Narrowing Pathways. Comment: This poem appears to have been centre formatted in order for its lines to form a picture on the page. That image is of arrows drawing the readers attention downwards until the final lines "a select few stand alone". The select few or the one who stands alone are those who have asked why color was splashed across the sky. These are they who send light into the future, who receive it from the past and pass it on. But there is a mystery here why the meeting was called to order in ans wer to the question about color. For the same reason "Twas my eyes saw color--I gouged them out" and "I heard "race" ... had my ears impaled". This mystery is not commonly known "the rest of us struggle to fit in". This is an engrossing poem which stirs the mind to seek deeper meaning than literal ones. I gave it five stars.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2015
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Wow, Mikey! This is pretty intense stuff, but it's REAL poetry, and we don't have a lot of that here. Nice to see the terrific output of your amazing mind again. :)
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Wow, Mikey! This is pretty intense stuff, but it's REAL poetry, and we don't have a lot of that here. Nice to see the terrific output of your amazing mind again. :)
Comment Written 19-Jul-2015
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I have missed you.
Nicely done but don't feel you have to use every form in one piece, you can separate them. lol
Like this one
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I have missed you.
Nicely done but don't feel you have to use every form in one piece, you can separate them. lol
Like this one
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2015
Comment from Lovinia
Dear Mikey
You can make it up by just being you!! Oooops that's me needing to make up reviews to you ... and for all that you've taught me and shared with me. I wondered why you weren't posting much. Please feed your addiction any time ... I'll read and review ... and I'll get your thank you by ESP ... good enough for me. I guess I'm the same as you, just on a smaller scale, and you don't need to review mine. I know in my mind what you would have to say anyway. LOL Behind always in reviews and replies, correspondence ... perhaps when we're in a rocking chair on the porch and nothing else to distract us? :))
Mikey style form ... you said it.Brilliant as so much of your work is. Excellent presentation and a fascinating concept executed with intelligence and creativity above the norm.
"most cannot be tasked to bother
a select few
stand
alone"
A perfect summation ... so few ... and usually have to go it 'alone'.
I can sense your frustration here, yet also acceptance, or is it resignation? I love the change of form, verse to verse. Always unique in your expression Mikey ... I'll always be a fan. Huge Hugs - Lovi xoxo
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Dear Mikey
You can make it up by just being you!! Oooops that's me needing to make up reviews to you ... and for all that you've taught me and shared with me. I wondered why you weren't posting much. Please feed your addiction any time ... I'll read and review ... and I'll get your thank you by ESP ... good enough for me. I guess I'm the same as you, just on a smaller scale, and you don't need to review mine. I know in my mind what you would have to say anyway. LOL Behind always in reviews and replies, correspondence ... perhaps when we're in a rocking chair on the porch and nothing else to distract us? :))
Mikey style form ... you said it.Brilliant as so much of your work is. Excellent presentation and a fascinating concept executed with intelligence and creativity above the norm.
"most cannot be tasked to bother
a select few
stand
alone"
A perfect summation ... so few ... and usually have to go it 'alone'.
I can sense your frustration here, yet also acceptance, or is it resignation? I love the change of form, verse to verse. Always unique in your expression Mikey ... I'll always be a fan. Huge Hugs - Lovi xoxo
Comment Written 19-Jul-2015