Time Entwined
Two girl's families stay in a haunted beach house16 total reviews
Comment from ellie6
Delightfully creepy story. The attic room and the sense of being haunted is well described. You created an atmosphere in which anything can happen.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
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Delightfully creepy story. The attic room and the sense of being haunted is well described. You created an atmosphere in which anything can happen.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Green Lake Girl
A sad and chilling story you've penned here. It's funny how many adults like to downplay a ghost. They should've listened to Charlie and Katie.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
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A sad and chilling story you've penned here. It's funny how many adults like to downplay a ghost. They should've listened to Charlie and Katie.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from MelB
A very interesting story. How sad and tragic a story. I don't think I would have slept in that attic, after feeling and seeing the things they did. I don't believe in ghosts. I believe what was seen was a demon. Kids are more sensitive and pick up on a lot more than adults do. Not sure if this is a true story or fiction. It is a great contest entry. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
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A very interesting story. How sad and tragic a story. I don't think I would have slept in that attic, after feeling and seeing the things they did. I don't believe in ghosts. I believe what was seen was a demon. Kids are more sensitive and pick up on a lot more than adults do. Not sure if this is a true story or fiction. It is a great contest entry. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
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Thank you for your review.
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You're welcome
Comment from Clover77
Very wonderful poem and exceptionally dark; I loved it! You did an amazing job. I bid you good luck on future writings. Well done!
~Julia
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
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Very wonderful poem and exceptionally dark; I loved it! You did an amazing job. I bid you good luck on future writings. Well done!
~Julia
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
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Thank you!
Comment from JaseDR85
Fantastic. I love it. Great showing vs telling, great dialog. Snappy, back and forth. Doesn't confuse the reader on who is talking, plenty of visuals to keep them active in the readers mind. Excellent work, keep it up!
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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Fantastic. I love it. Great showing vs telling, great dialog. Snappy, back and forth. Doesn't confuse the reader on who is talking, plenty of visuals to keep them active in the readers mind. Excellent work, keep it up!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I like this. I like your word choices such as "feeling eerie" and more importantly thought you did a good job of showing us how your characters were feeling such as when they did not want to go up to the attic. Excellent use of dialogue. Terrific job!
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reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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I like this. I like your word choices such as "feeling eerie" and more importantly thought you did a good job of showing us how your characters were feeling such as when they did not want to go up to the attic. Excellent use of dialogue. Terrific job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Thank you for your review and positive feedback.