Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Holy cop killers, Debbie! Like it, I loved it, lol!

What makes this even more terrifying is that it could actually happen. People get killed every single day during home invasions, due to mistaken identity. A wife shot her husband thinking he was an intruder just before the holiday weekend in my neck-of-the-woods. However authorities seem to think she's not telling the complete truth, that there's more to the story she's not telling them. If that's true, they have to prove it.

A claw hammer to the brain pan would be a particularly brutal way to slay someone. That's probably why it works so well in these types of stories.

In fact, I KNOW it is, heh-heh...

Great work, Debbie, and thank you for another fine contribution to our book.

~Dean

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

I am so glad you liked it, Dean. I may try my hand at some more. The claw hammer is by my chair, really. He,he-he~Debbie

reply by Dean Kuch on 07-Jul-2015

Have Mercy! Heh-heh... I hope you will, Debbie, and you're very welcome. I'll be posting another Tiny Tale in about fifteen minutes myself.

Comment from mumsyone

Excellent

Great ending to your horror story, Debbie. It took me completely by surprise. Well done.

A skilled softball player, Dena stood up(,) giving the hammer her hardest swing.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

Thank you, Lois. Glad you liked it. Only one comma. I must be improving He-he-he. Hugs~Debbie

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

I like this chapter, nicely done. In the first few sentences you manage to take us with you into the bedroom with her, lying their perfectly still until, wham. Author notes gave an extra chuckle, for me. Enjoyed.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

Thank you, my friend~Debbie

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Great story, and a lucky cop. Some people keep weapons, guns even, by their beds. He never should have walked in on you without announcing his presence and ID-ing himself as a policeman. Phew! Close one for you both. :)

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

I am so glad you liked it, my friend. I may try my hand at some more. The claw hammer is by my chair, really. He,he-he~Debbie

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

I don't know whether Dean liked it, but I sure did. It maintained suspense throughout and finished with the unexpected ending.

Good job, Debbie. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

I am so glad you liked it, Jay. I may try my hand at some more. The claw hammer is by my chair, really. He-he-he~Debbie

Comment from royowen

Excellent

It is truly designed to bring a chill to one, fancy dinging a cop, it would probably be the mistake of one's life to do that! Well done, Debbie, stealing Dean's mantle away from him, I'm glad you didn't have a claw hammer on you either, you'd probably be writing in prison! Well done, my friend, blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

For sure. Thanks for reviewing. Are things getting any better? I hope so. Take care, my friend~Debbie

reply by royowen on 07-Jul-2015

No worries, it was a long time ago Debbie,

Comment from JW

Excellent

I hope Dena enjoyed her foolishness. If such a thing occurred in real life I can only imagine how much prison time she would have received.

Thanks for sharing this short story, Debbie. JW

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

For sure. Thanks for reviewing. Are things getting any better? I hope so. Take care, my friend~Debbie

Comment from Michaelk

Excellent

Very nicely done. You set this up wonderfully. Your descriptions were vivid and creepy. Your twist at the end was just perfect. I would think if the police officer was searching for you, he would identify himself and call out to you. I guess that wouldn't give us that amazing ending then.
What a great addition to the Tiny Tales book.

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

Wouldn't you expect him to pound on the door and yell, Nevada Police? I can't be that hard to wake up. Glad you liked it. Thank you, my friend~Debbie

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

I'm glad the ending wasn't true.
great little story of terror. I'm sure Dean is honored. You write with the best of them:)
teresas

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

Glad you liked it. Thank you, my friend~Debbie

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Debbie...

_ I really like this.
_ The notes really add to it.
_ My goodness, what an experience you had, but lucky you didn't have a claw hammer!
_ Well composed.

_ Just found a couple of SPAG for you.

>>> Delete extra space between period and 'Instinctively'
>>> Delete 'she'
_ [] Instinctively, [she] her arm moved over

>>> Replace 'comma' with 'period' after 'blood'
>>> Delete extra space before 'He'
_ was the smell of blood, [] He screamed as he crumpled

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)



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 Comment Written 06-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

Thank you, my friend. I'm glad you read it first and I made the corrections before anyone else read it~Debbie

reply by Jacqueline M Franklin on 07-Jul-2015

You're very welcome. (*<*)