Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

I wish to travel as well and get a best seller in the book charts. In fact I think I;d give up everything to become a best selling author. I like this poem and hope you fulfil all your dreams and hopes. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2015

I think on this site, it's probably a fairly common ambition. I'm not sure I'd be willing to give up everything to see it fulfilled! Good luck to you with your desires, and thanks for your kind words.
Craig

Comment from --Turtle.

Excellent

Hi CD,

I read through this bucket list poem. I am not strong in poeting, but I can say what I liked, it was easy to read, whimsical, and straight forward.

Across the world, I'd love to go,
[to see] a land of ice and snow. (challenge a stronger verb? and witness?)

their company would be a treat. (seemed a forced rhyme, moreso than any of the others)

I'd love [to build](constructing?) right nearby me

Each set clearly defince an activity worthy of doing, and the priority of them brings insight into the desires of the writer. Yeah, lots of travel...

Only think my brain wanted to poke at was a lot of the verbs are to be. This isn't that big a deal, as they do fit and are consistent.

to visit once more England's shores.
visiting once more those England shores. Ha, yep, I am no poet. But it was fun reading this one, and contemplating the effects of how it's written. I don't think you actually have to change anything, but maybe you will see where my brain was poking at things.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2015

Hi Turtlestage5,
I really do appreciate your comments. I've been picked up before on overuse of "to be" verbs, so you probably have a point! My problem is that when I look at alternatives they often sound worse or look more "forced" to me. I will review this in light of what you have said, but I think it might take me a while to get right.
Thanks for your useful pointers, and for enjoying the poem.
Craig

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

You have a great bucket list and I think everyone should write one - I did a few years ago. Travel is definitely a big part of mine. Well written!
Teresa

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2015

Thanks, Teresa, for your kind words - much appreciated :-)
Craig

Comment from judester

Excellent

A rollicking little poem giving us a glimpse into your bucket list. Lots of fun to read and I enjoy your fun style, cheers and good luck with the list, cheers judester

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2015

Thanks, Judester, for liking my little poem - and for the "excellent" rating. Most grateful, Craig.

reply by judester on 16-Jun-2015

welcome to fanstory, Craig

reply by the author on 16-Jun-2015

Thank you :)

Comment from ~Dovey

Excellent

I want to come, too :) This all sounds wonderful. Just one small fix, I think...
To server (serve?) and the rhyme scheme is perfect except this one stanza, though, it really doesn't need a fix, this poem is perfect as is, I simply love it!

I'd take my girl (without in-laws)
to visit once more England's shores.
In that far land across the Earth
to see again her place of birth.

Kim

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2015

Thanks for spotting the "server" thing - I don't know how I managed to read it so many times and miss it every single time!
I'm not sure what the problem is with the rhyme in that stanza? Are you having a go about accents again? ;-)
Thanks for the review Kim, and for your kind words :)
Craig

reply by ~Dovey on 15-Jun-2015

well, the rest of the poem is spot on ;) I just don't see a rhyme in in-laws and shores lol correct if I'm wrong, with proper enunciation ;) And, for the record, I LOVE your accent ;)

reply by the author on 15-Jun-2015

Haha - well, the way I say it, it is exactly the same vowel sound. I think I'm going to stand my ground, and if challenged, I'll claim unfair - picking on the foreigner!

reply by ~Dovey on 15-Jun-2015

Make me an audio clip of you reading that passage lol ;) ttys Craig!

Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

It's very nice to see another poem from you.
When I read your work, I get this wonderfully calming feeling as if i"m on the ocean... sailing for parts unknown. Looking toward the setting sun, my face aglow with the warmth of it... the wind in my curls... and smelling of coconut... why is that?
but something is missing... ah yes!
And a moogul of monkeys about my feet. . yes, that makes more sense. ;)

I enjoyed your list... most especially:
'A library, I'd love to see
that held a volume writ by me.
I'd really love to pen a book -
something that was worth a look.'
(which seems to be on most of our lists, i would think)

and I"m happy to hear that you're not eating the cute little lambs... I hope that the alpacas are as fortunate. ;/

I wonder at the validity of your list, however... you say your TOP 10... I've seen TOP 10 lists before... (lately, in fact) and they aren't usually so poetic, and they seem to stray off course more often, be wildly eratic, in fact... and full of more passion than poetry... does that make sense?

But... it is YOUR bucket, and you may fill it any way, shape or form... (as long as it fits) as you see fit, I suppose...
:)

Again... I have enjoyed the voyage on your ocean...
could you pass the sunscreen?
:)
please... do us ALL a favor?
keep writing, ok?
Cat >^^<

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2015

Thanks, Cat, for your lovely review. I can assure you that there are no longer any animals on our land headed for the dinner plate! As for the list - yes, that is my REAL bucket list. I know it's not perfect, but it's mine ;-) No poetic license, either.
Craig

reply by I am Cat on 15-Jun-2015

Craig... nothing and no one is perfect.
That's the perfection in life, you know.
:)
I don't know about everyone else, But I... for one, feel honored to be reading it. :)

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

I enjoyed reading your list. It inspires me to think of my own list :) My vacation dreams of to go to a tropical beach and escape my home of snow lol! I enjoyed your fun rhymes. Welcome to fanstory!

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2015

Thanks, Joy, for enjoying my poem. A tropical beach works for me too - as long as they have a floating bar! (OK, maybe I was joking there - or not.) And thanks for your nice welcome, too.
Craig.

Comment from Louise Michelle

Excellent

Now that's what I call an ambitious list, CD. This is a fun-to-read poem with nice, bouncy meter and well chosen rhymes. Well done. Hugs, Lou

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2015

Hi Lou - yes, quite ambitious; it won't surprise me at all if a couple of those don't get done. But we have to have something to aim for! Thanks for your kind words,
Craig

Comment from inside echo

Excellent

Yes it does seem as though travel is what you wish to do, what may be different though is what you want to do on your trips. Like spending the time with your partner, sharing moments and making memories with her. Rather than work, or whatever else took you on your previous travels. Well written. Your rhyme is Excellent, the bits of humour you added were just perfect, and fitting. Well done, ant thank you for sharing your "bucket" list with us.
tgc
echo

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2015

Thank you echo, for your very nice review. I'm definitely sure that anything work related would not make that list!
All the best to you, Craig.

reply by inside echo on 15-Jun-2015

You are welcome.

Comment from Mary H-W

Exceptional

Probably the most unique Bucket List I've read. I think it illustrates something about your personality - free and not bound by rules. Fun loving and devoted to you friend.
I like your poem alot.

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2015

Thank you Mary, for your very kind words, and your super-generous rating! Glad you enjoyed it.
Craig