Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "The Journey"Dawn of Chaos
26 total reviews
Comment from Jane Winstead
This poem is very hard to understand. I am not sure if it is the commas misplaced that make it hard to understand or just the content that doesn't seem to flow properly. I believe the writer of this poem is writing about the world we are living in today but it is still very hard to understand. Perhaps the writer is giving instructions suggesting how we should live our lives. I did not find anything I liked about this poem. I think the whole poem should be reworked.
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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2016
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This poem is very hard to understand. I am not sure if it is the commas misplaced that make it hard to understand or just the content that doesn't seem to flow properly. I believe the writer of this poem is writing about the world we are living in today but it is still very hard to understand. Perhaps the writer is giving instructions suggesting how we should live our lives. I did not find anything I liked about this poem. I think the whole poem should be reworked.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2016
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I do struggle with my writes and appreciate all inputs about them. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed thoughts.
Comment from A.A.A.EXHILARATING RIDE
Hi again TPAC, I like your wondering; although I fly over the depths. And I like the concept of journeying and the picture leading me to many adventure in life and soul. And, I feel those pits of uncertainties as we tread these parallel paths the worldly on this troubled Earth, and that inner unfurling of our soul in life's greater eternity.
Well done. Thank you so much for thoughts to colour my Thursday, Maureen*&*
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2016
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Hi again TPAC, I like your wondering; although I fly over the depths. And I like the concept of journeying and the picture leading me to many adventure in life and soul. And, I feel those pits of uncertainties as we tread these parallel paths the worldly on this troubled Earth, and that inner unfurling of our soul in life's greater eternity.
Well done. Thank you so much for thoughts to colour my Thursday, Maureen*&*
Comment Written 14-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2016
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Glad aspects of this write captured your interests. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating views about this work.
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Captured and carried with adventure and joy, thanks, Maureen*&*
Comment from VictoriaJoyce
I found this a very interesting read. Well done. Your writing leaves the reader thinking about what was written and gets the mind going, which I commend you for and enjoy. Seems like it is a tough format to write? I'm not sure if you live in the US, but I have had the pleasure of sending copies of the first of my two published books, to a select few on fanstory that the Lord has laid on my heart. Please visit my profile page or my web site: victoriajoyceminstries.org. I would love to send you a copy. It is my last weekend on this web site, so email me at my personal email address: whoever_1@cox.net
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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I found this a very interesting read. Well done. Your writing leaves the reader thinking about what was written and gets the mind going, which I commend you for and enjoy. Seems like it is a tough format to write? I'm not sure if you live in the US, but I have had the pleasure of sending copies of the first of my two published books, to a select few on fanstory that the Lord has laid on my heart. Please visit my profile page or my web site: victoriajoyceminstries.org. I would love to send you a copy. It is my last weekend on this web site, so email me at my personal email address: whoever_1@cox.net
Comment Written 29-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Sad to hear about your break, I will visit your profile: a little time. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating conveyances detailing my writes.
Comment from Shelli 1
A very honest poignant poem full of imagery of pitfalls in life and Gods salvation from hell and really we just need God and his forgiveness and approval this poem gave me food for thought Good read
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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A very honest poignant poem full of imagery of pitfalls in life and Gods salvation from hell and really we just need God and his forgiveness and approval this poem gave me food for thought Good read
Comment Written 29-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Glad this write found interests, I'm still working on pits in my writes: and appreciate others insights about them. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating views.
Comment from theknowitpoet
I tried to find the meaning, it could be that I am more a direct reader in that I need easier to undertand without digging deep into the authors mind.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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I tried to find the meaning, it could be that I am more a direct reader in that I need easier to undertand without digging deep into the authors mind.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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The journey we all have to endure, I have my lows and highs. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating conveyances.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about life plans that went terribly wrong. We have to stay strong when we love each other the bond will overcome any obstacles.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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A very well-written poem about life plans that went terribly wrong. We have to stay strong when we love each other the bond will overcome any obstacles.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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The truth will set us free once we understand the certainties we endure to live and our placement within its circumstance. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating views.
Comment from Liilia
This is an amazing presentation in dignified and well structured form of reality as it exists in fallible minds and as it really is - all in God's hands. You state the case for all the hates and violations in a graphic way and then you shine the light of God's love with your poet's pen in such a way that the dark thunder clouds vanish into the background. Thank you for this original and instructive presentation.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2016
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This is an amazing presentation in dignified and well structured form of reality as it exists in fallible minds and as it really is - all in God's hands. You state the case for all the hates and violations in a graphic way and then you shine the light of God's love with your poet's pen in such a way that the dark thunder clouds vanish into the background. Thank you for this original and instructive presentation.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2016
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No I thank you for your insight of me as a potential poet. As for the rest said: head already too big. Grammatic errors. Thanking you for generous rate and encouraging statements.
Comment from c_lucas
The Divine Path set forth by the Deity, doesn't allow one to stray. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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The Divine Path set forth by the Deity, doesn't allow one to stray. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Glad some aspects of this write was found pleasing of interests. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed thoughts.
Comment from jane.fallon
Excellent. I enjoyed this poem, although I have noted some points for improvement.
"I in my mind wonder". I think this should read "I, in my mind, wonder"
to be disclose: Should this be "to be disclosed"?
"us to win demons approved giv rates. I'm not sure what this is about. Is it, "demons' approved given rates"?
"into a spin to be ?
in a endless maze. Should be "in AN endless"
"far pass" should be "far past"
"ignorant shadows of I think I know of: us to venture from ideals we shaped." This should be "ignorant shadows of which I know"
"far pass tears and fears," Should be "far past tears and fears" ?
Good job and have a great ANZAC holiday
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016
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Excellent. I enjoyed this poem, although I have noted some points for improvement.
"I in my mind wonder". I think this should read "I, in my mind, wonder"
to be disclose: Should this be "to be disclosed"?
"us to win demons approved giv rates. I'm not sure what this is about. Is it, "demons' approved given rates"?
"into a spin to be ?
in a endless maze. Should be "in AN endless"
"far pass" should be "far past"
"ignorant shadows of I think I know of: us to venture from ideals we shaped." This should be "ignorant shadows of which I know"
"far pass tears and fears," Should be "far past tears and fears" ?
Good job and have a great ANZAC holiday
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016
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You too. Thank you for sound shout out about this write, you are right and suggested revisions will be updated to work. Glad these pits didn't bother your read that much. Thanking you for generous rate and encouraging statements.
Comment from hammy45
You have created a very unusual piece of poetry. It's quite thought provoking and I found I wanted and needed to read it twice to take in all the things you were putting across. The "upside down" approach I have only come across once before and is I think is easier to handle when the poem isn't so "prose" driven perhaps. A very good attempt though.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016
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You have created a very unusual piece of poetry. It's quite thought provoking and I found I wanted and needed to read it twice to take in all the things you were putting across. The "upside down" approach I have only come across once before and is I think is easier to handle when the poem isn't so "prose" driven perhaps. A very good attempt though.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016
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First attempt at this approach, most my writes suffering pits. Thanking you for generous rate and touching thoughts.
