Comment from benoenose

Excellent

This exceptional beauty of poem is the light house. Any sailor will feel comfortable to witness a light house. After hard labor and an excellent work of writing, the writer feels peace to the mind. A happy occasion of sailing, recommended for all those who love sailing.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015

Thank you for your kind and sympathetic review. It has been great to have you along for the trip. But now we're all safin harbour. Thanks again.

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Okay PG, the first thing I want to say right off the bat is I love the layout, the colour, the picture. You've matched everything to make is quite pleasing to the eye. I'm a very visual person so this feast for the eyes draws me right in.

This is a wonderfully romantic sonnet, straight from the heart, even with the possibly naughty bit, "had you not led me safely up your sound". I know what you're saying there, do you know what I'm saying? Maybe had you not led me safely through your sound.

Perfect iambs again of course, and lovely imagery and terrific literary devices, but does berth rhyme with hearth in your part of the world? Would you please spell that out phonetically to me because I'm scratching my head over here in British Columbia, Canada. Berth rhymes with earth to my ear. But nonetheless a top notch sonnet full of romantic imagery.

Love it!

Gloria

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015

Thank you Gloria. Glad you enjoyed it. Yes it could be naughty as you put it. You are right BERTH & EARTH rhyme HEARTH & BATH RHYME berth and hearth as here is an example of the near rhyme known as consonance. Try this definition:
consonance (ˈkɒnsənəns) or consonancy
n, pl -nances or -nancies
2. (Poetry) prosody similarity between consonants, but not between vowels, as between the s and t sounds in sweet silent thought.

This a perfectly acceptable alternate rhyme form in UK English poetry.

That lot came from Googling 'consonance'

I hope this clarifies.

Comment from walbc

Excellent

Your metaphorical use of the lighthouse as a person who guides and protects, is very well done. Your sonnet is indeed quite beautiful, with plenty of imagery to attract the reader. Your rhyming and flow are excellent. The artwork is exquisite and complements your poem beautifully. Well done on this poem.
warm regards, wendy.

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015

Thanks Wendy for trhis lovely review. It is greatly appreciated.

Comment from Delahay

Excellent

I would not have thought of a lighthouse as a metaphor for a romantic poem but it works well. The idea of someone being the light that guides a person and keep them safe through the rough patches makes a lighthouse a good symbol for this.

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015

Thank you for reading and for this review. Glad it worked for you

Comment from petalangela

Excellent

I have not followed the collection truly I cannot lie
this poem brought more than one tear to my eye

It tells a tale of return to a place held so very dear
The love is not merely for a lighthouse is made clear

The light that guides us all back home safe and sound
Ensuring that our hearts are not allowed to run aground

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2015

Thanks petal, so glad you enjoyed this one. Thanks for reading and a great review

Comment from Ashley McRoberts

Exceptional

I really liked this poem. I'm not a big poetry gal, but I enjoyed this a lot. The descriptions and how it applied to relationships really worked. I liked the word usage and the imagery.

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2015

Thank you for a great review and a wonderful grade. How very kind. I am so pleased that it appealed even to one who is not a big poetry gal. Very many thanks.

Comment from TPAC

Excellent

Dramatic in composition, very creative in expressed terms selection, poet seed hopes within a lighthouse, story of conveyed guidance, to arrival in assured trust, wonderful in appeal and to me enchanting in style

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2015

Thank you for reading this and for your complimentary review.

Comment from Jacob Collins

Excellent

I enjoyed reading this piece, pantygynt. Your writing flowed well throughout and I thought that the imagery you used was excellent. I particularly liked the second stanza. I couldn't find anything to critique. Thanks for sharing...Jacob

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2015

Glad this met with your approval. Many thanks for reading and for your review.

Comment from Ginnygray

Excellent

Pantygynt, you are really talking to me with this poem!! I happen to enjoy all of NC's lighthouses on the eastern shore of the outer banks! This was a beautifully written poem that was so descriptive of the lighthouse and the metaphors were so nice! Words like "darling strife", and the lovely last line, "embrace my mooring, lay me by your hearth!"

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2015

Thank you for reading this and your kind review. I am so glad this poem resonated with you.

Comment from gallivandog

Excellent

Sut ydych chi heddiw?
Well, I've read your poem twice and enjoyed reading your explanatory notes, thank you for that. I have to say straight off the bat that I am not an authority on Sonnets of any kind, writing in pentermetre or in fact commenting on any of the hybrid poetry that I encounter on this site.
However, I know what I like and do my best to convey my constructive view without dampening the Ego of the writer......... hahaaha which has happened quite a few times over the years.
In this case, I really like what you have written and I know enough to compliment you on your work. It's well balanced and constructed and I also love your metaphor (lighthouse)
the alternate rhyming scheme is sound, I did alas falter on the last two lines...............
(Berth & Hearth), being a Welshman hailing from the Vale of Glamorgan, the pronunciation of the latter would be phonetically for me anyway "HARTH" which for example would better suit "BATH"........ here I go again, enlighten me, I'm sure there is a reason that an ignoramus such as myself wouldn't know about. Hahaha.
Kind Regards
Dave

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2015

Although I live in the borough of Bridgend I regret I do not have the cymraeg to translate your opening line. Thank you so much for this encouraging review and I most glad that you enjoyed the poem as a whole. For full rhyme hearth would rhyme with bath, but near rhyme and assonance are considered acceptable alternatives. This is an example of near rhyme where the vowel sound is out but the concluding contsonant, in this case the dphthong th is in, assonance is the opposite withe vowel in and the final consonant out so hearth and scarf could be said to have assonance having them both out berth and scarf for example would be regarded as being a complete no no as far as rhyme is concerned. I hope this clears up the confusion. I would like you to know that your review in no way offends me and I welcome the chance to increase the understanding of anyone who asks for it. This question of rhyme often prompts lively discussians between Americans, British and Australians on this site. We all speak English but by golly we all speak it differently.

reply by gallivandog on 03-Jun-2015

Yeah, as suspected, that's just gone right over my head.. hahaha hence my reluctance to review, it helps if you know what you're talking about I guess.
But none the less, as long as I enjoyed it, that's all that matters. Thanks for giving it a go anyway. Best wishes to you. Oh yeah.......... it means: how are you today?

reply by the author on 03-Jun-2015

Don't be put off. Be subjective say whether you liked it and why. Half the reviewers on this site haven't a clue anyway. Nos da! That's about my limit but I have tried hard with the pronunciation.

reply by gallivandog on 03-Jun-2015

Oh yes, I do don't worry about that, There are quite a few premadonas here that take offence to what I consider a good review, I did a course with the Education Academy a while ago to improve my work and learn more about Creative writing, it has always interested me from a comunication point of view, being able to write effectivly can bring lots of joy, but some folk seem to think that they have it all sewn up and have nothing else to learn. ofcourse on this site, you have to review in order to get your own writing noticed unless you happen to be very rich.... I try to be positive and by and large, I believe I am offering ideas and sugestions.

reply by the author on 03-Jun-2015

Good that's great. When I said half the people reviewing didn't know what they were talking about I should have added and half of the rest only think they do!

reply by gallivandog on 03-Jun-2015

Hahahaha yes. I'd like to show you a review that I just recieved for one of my Poems which I wrote years ago, It's Part two of a Trilogy called "If I go down to the woods"........ oh how I laughed. LOL HERE IT IS, THREE STARS TOO.. and I quote:

I'm tip-toeing so keep going.
More and more and more; I don't know what we're going to do.
Me and my boys decided to take the back way.

She's got style, she's got grace; she's a winner.

You're crazy if you think this kind of love could ever be; and every lock that's not locked when no one's around.
If wanting you were my best confession, you would be my greatest sin.


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Comment Written 03-Jun-2015 by songecho