A Tornado is Coming (Revived)
An active tornado15 total reviews
Comment from Louise Michelle
Tornadoes, to me, are the most frightening type of storm because of the ominous shape they take. You did a very good job describing them and the destruction they cause. 'A whipping, twirling, howling funnel of dust and debris' is excellent. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Tornadoes, to me, are the most frightening type of storm because of the ominous shape they take. You did a very good job describing them and the destruction they cause. 'A whipping, twirling, howling funnel of dust and debris' is excellent. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thanks for the five stars and taking the time from your busy schedule to read my poem. I heard so much lately about the tornados in the southern part as well as the western part of United States. We had a lot of destruction and death over the months.
Comment from JourneyHolm
In my poetry, I try to never use the same word twice. There are so many options and synonyms in the English language that I feel it a shame to exclude even one of them. For me, the overuse of "whipped, hours, dust, and debris" took away some of the power at the beginning (where really it should be setting the precedent). Try to capture the raw power of this scene and natural disaster. Make me scared of lying in its wake. Despite my suggestions, I thank you for your contribution. Thank you for sharing.
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reply by the author on 29-May-2015
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In my poetry, I try to never use the same word twice. There are so many options and synonyms in the English language that I feel it a shame to exclude even one of them. For me, the overuse of "whipped, hours, dust, and debris" took away some of the power at the beginning (where really it should be setting the precedent). Try to capture the raw power of this scene and natural disaster. Make me scared of lying in its wake. Despite my suggestions, I thank you for your contribution. Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-May-2015
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
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Thanks for the three stars and comment.
Comment from flip86
I haven't experienced tornadoes yet but knew how devastating it can be and you captured it in this piece- the sights, the sounds and the harm it do to people and properties. Florida where I live, is a common place for tornadoes. I like the message it brings- we must learn how to protect ourselves and our properties if the storm doesn't pass us by. Nicely written.
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
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I haven't experienced tornadoes yet but knew how devastating it can be and you captured it in this piece- the sights, the sounds and the harm it do to people and properties. Florida where I live, is a common place for tornadoes. I like the message it brings- we must learn how to protect ourselves and our properties if the storm doesn't pass us by. Nicely written.
Comment Written 29-May-2015
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
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Thank you for your five stars and comment. We are having so many tornadoes lately. I have been In hurricanes but not a tornado of any magnitude. .
Comment from rspoet
You've written a very fine descriptive poem and warning all in one.
The description, "whipped, twirled , howled, throwing" give a sense of the power, but of course no words can describe the horror of lives lost, injuries and home destroyed.
Excellent presentation with great photograph to poem match, framed in the dark cloud gray of storms, written in the black font of destruction.
Excellent final message to prepare as best one can.
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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You've written a very fine descriptive poem and warning all in one.
The description, "whipped, twirled , howled, throwing" give a sense of the power, but of course no words can describe the horror of lives lost, injuries and home destroyed.
Excellent presentation with great photograph to poem match, framed in the dark cloud gray of storms, written in the black font of destruction.
Excellent final message to prepare as best one can.
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Thank you for your five stars and wonderful comment.
I also corrected a mistake in the author's note down at
the line about "love one(s)."
Comment from lalajovanoski
I'm very glad that I read this. I work in customer relations department and have had many issues for not being able to deliver our products to intended recipients.The disastrous storms have impacted so many people across the states it is devastating. Thank you for sharing
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reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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I'm very glad that I read this. I work in customer relations department and have had many issues for not being able to deliver our products to intended recipients.The disastrous storms have impacted so many people across the states it is devastating. Thank you for sharing
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Thank you for the five stars and comment.
