Littoral
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Close Season"Poems about the coastline
26 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
Oh, a little James Taylor perhaps? There is something very sad about an empty Ferris wheel. It's like a circular image that keeps repeating itself, the cycle of seasons -- some joyous, some not.
Love your personification of the town clutching its covers while the rain falls. Resort towns do become ghost towns in the off season and the denizens struggle to survive.
This is quite a melancholy write, PG. I like the idea that under every shiny surface lies a dark shadow.
This poem sounds like a terrific addition to your CD.
Gloria
reply by the author on 17-May-2015
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Oh, a little James Taylor perhaps? There is something very sad about an empty Ferris wheel. It's like a circular image that keeps repeating itself, the cycle of seasons -- some joyous, some not.
Love your personification of the town clutching its covers while the rain falls. Resort towns do become ghost towns in the off season and the denizens struggle to survive.
This is quite a melancholy write, PG. I like the idea that under every shiny surface lies a dark shadow.
This poem sounds like a terrific addition to your CD.
Gloria
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 17-May-2015
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Thank you, Gloria. You are the first one to spot the significant parallel of the ferris wheel to the seasonal revolution. I too have always liked the imagery in "clutching at its covers." We are in tune.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, P....
A truly enjoyable poem to read. Easy listening in a song as well.
Indeed, resort towns can vary in population. Our town grows to twice the amount of people in the winter, and then some with the snowbirds. The London Bridge is a great calling card.
Great work, an enjoyable read.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 17-May-2015
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Hi, P....
A truly enjoyable poem to read. Easy listening in a song as well.
Indeed, resort towns can vary in population. Our town grows to twice the amount of people in the winter, and then some with the snowbirds. The London Bridge is a great calling card.
Great work, an enjoyable read.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 17-May-2015
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thank you for this sympathetic review. I am most grateful.
Comment from valerieellis
Excellent! The rhyme and rhythm flowed smoothly and the words evoked strong emotions. It made me feel much like I do in the winter....waiting and so ready for spring. Thank you for sharing. God bless :-)
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Excellent! The rhyme and rhythm flowed smoothly and the words evoked strong emotions. It made me feel much like I do in the winter....waiting and so ready for spring. Thank you for sharing. God bless :-)
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Thank you for this kind review. So glad it struck the right chords with you.
Comment from Treischel
A very good addition to your Littoral collection, the age of the piece is a testimony to your poetic prowess. A perfect followup to the British Summer. Very well written in aabbcc rhymed sextets on at well honed and flowing heptameter. Iambic? Yes! The damp imagery sets the tone to this torrential take. Well done. At to the lyrical aspect, I think it needs a peppy chorus to bring it to life. Some think like:
And the raindrops pound the ground around the sound at Bristol bay,
As the drops all crash and splash, we watch our profits wash away!
Away, Away, away, oh yes, our profits wash away.
:-))
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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A very good addition to your Littoral collection, the age of the piece is a testimony to your poetic prowess. A perfect followup to the British Summer. Very well written in aabbcc rhymed sextets on at well honed and flowing heptameter. Iambic? Yes! The damp imagery sets the tone to this torrential take. Well done. At to the lyrical aspect, I think it needs a peppy chorus to bring it to life. Some think like:
And the raindrops pound the ground around the sound at Bristol bay,
As the drops all crash and splash, we watch our profits wash away!
Away, Away, away, oh yes, our profits wash away.
:-))
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Thanks for the suggestion for a chorus but I don't think that would fit the mournful tune it has already got. Many thanks for the review and the six stars. Most grateful.
Comment from Joan E.
Wow, you've been writing lyrics and music for a long time! I am pleased to learn you recorded it a collection almost 40 years after its composition. You certainly captured the contrasting emotions in the song and VMarguarite's artwork is a good match. I enjoyed your rhymed couplets, refrain, "theatre" metaphor plus the personification of the "seaside town" and the "weather," which reminded me of the area around Coney Island, at least when I was a kid. I am sorry I don't have the six this work deserves. Bravo! -Joan
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Wow, you've been writing lyrics and music for a long time! I am pleased to learn you recorded it a collection almost 40 years after its composition. You certainly captured the contrasting emotions in the song and VMarguarite's artwork is a good match. I enjoyed your rhymed couplets, refrain, "theatre" metaphor plus the personification of the "seaside town" and the "weather," which reminded me of the area around Coney Island, at least when I was a kid. I am sorry I don't have the six this work deserves. Bravo! -Joan
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Serves me right for posting so late in the week. Thank you for your thorough and kind review.
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Next time! -J
Comment from lakeport
close season. indeed that's a nice expressed story poem. very nice rhyming and flow, I enjoyed reading it, God bless you. Lakeport.
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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close season. indeed that's a nice expressed story poem. very nice rhyming and flow, I enjoyed reading it, God bless you. Lakeport.
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Thank you for reading and rerviewing this work so kindly.
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you are welcome.lakeport.
Comment from Dean Kuch
An excellent poem/song lyrics, Pantygynt. Your carefully chosen words, while a bit melancholy, are also, as you stated, tinged with hope for things to come.
I completely agree with your assessment of seaside resorts during the off seasons. They are but ghost towns basically; mere shadows of what they become once the summer season is upon them.
The rhyming is perfect here, the message, a poignant portrayal of life... for some.
Simply an excellent write -- in every compositional phase imaginable...
Bravo~ Dean :)
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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An excellent poem/song lyrics, Pantygynt. Your carefully chosen words, while a bit melancholy, are also, as you stated, tinged with hope for things to come.
I completely agree with your assessment of seaside resorts during the off seasons. They are but ghost towns basically; mere shadows of what they become once the summer season is upon them.
The rhyming is perfect here, the message, a poignant portrayal of life... for some.
Simply an excellent write -- in every compositional phase imaginable...
Bravo~ Dean :)
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Thank you so much for this magnificent review that seems to cover every aspect of the piece.
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It was my pleasure entirely. You're very welcome. :)
~Dean
Comment from petalangela
An insightful look into the season lapse of a seaside tourist and holiday venue. Brilliantly penned. One often wonders what happens were do the locals go off season. It must be so hard on them. Not merely the weather but the noise , hustle and bustle and the income disappears.
Loved the art work
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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An insightful look into the season lapse of a seaside tourist and holiday venue. Brilliantly penned. One often wonders what happens were do the locals go off season. It must be so hard on them. Not merely the weather but the noise , hustle and bustle and the income disappears.
Loved the art work
Comment Written 15-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Yup. There are definitely two worlds out there for them. Thank you for this wonderful review. So glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from royowen
Sounds very much like a ballad, the lyrics have a tempo/ rhythm to it, the words have some depth to them, it reminds me of a lot of ballad style songs I wrote years ago, I still perform them today! It was only last year that I've started to adapt and tighten them to poetry, well done, do you write the lyrics first? Or at the same time, I've always been more interested in the words, then I write the music! Well done, I'm of welsh parentage, born in Liverpool, but migrated to Australia, I wonder if there is a connection, mum was born in Llandudno, North Wales, dad's father spoke welsh,and was born in North Wales, interesting stuff, well done, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Sounds very much like a ballad, the lyrics have a tempo/ rhythm to it, the words have some depth to them, it reminds me of a lot of ballad style songs I wrote years ago, I still perform them today! It was only last year that I've started to adapt and tighten them to poetry, well done, do you write the lyrics first? Or at the same time, I've always been more interested in the words, then I write the music! Well done, I'm of welsh parentage, born in Liverpool, but migrated to Australia, I wonder if there is a connection, mum was born in Llandudno, North Wales, dad's father spoke welsh,and was born in North Wales, interesting stuff, well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 15-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Thanks for this great review. I started writing new lyrics to existing tunes when I ran out of my limited repertoire, posted to Aden in 1965. And for many years after I wrote to existing tunes. I was not musician enough in those days to compose a tune out of thin air for a lyric I had already written.. This was the sinle exception until eventually i was persuaded to write a lyric and "just sing the tune in your heart!" When I protested that there was no tune in my hear and that was the trouble my advisor gave me the answere from which I have never looked back.
"No," he said, "But there will be a rhythm. Then just pitch the rhythm." I tried it and lo and behold. It worked. I don't write so many songs nowadays, prefering to wade deep into straight poetry in various forms.
Thank you so much for your interest and I hope my lengthy reply has not been too boring!
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A lot of the old hymns and ballads were written to traditional melodies, some from head melodies, I use voice and chord progressions, to compose, with chords it's easier to remember a melody, I also have a lot notated, but well done, you write fine lyrics, Roy.
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I know a lot of people work their compositions through chords but that has never worked for me, probably because I have no formal musical training and am probably the worst three chord wonder on the guitar that the world has ever seen!
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It's easier than you think, you could learn! They are very closely allied, as you are aware, good chatting, Roy.
Comment from KyoKohitsuji
Oh, i love this! As i was reading my mind conjured up a folksy sort of vibe to go along with it. The lyrics are very pretty and i would really enjoy hearing them sang to a beautiful melody.
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Oh, i love this! As i was reading my mind conjured up a folksy sort of vibe to go along with it. The lyrics are very pretty and i would really enjoy hearing them sang to a beautiful melody.
Comment Written 15-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Thank you so much for loving this. It is wonderful when someone says something like that about something you've done. Gretly appreciated.
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You are very welcome hun! I look forward to reading more of your work :)