Beautiful Death
Viewing comments for Chapter 10000 "Chamber pots And P J's"from birth I have longed for death
14 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
An Unknown history to so many. There is a huge lesson in this. Well done
notes
We are woken with whispers and someone shaking us, "Get up! Hurry-be quiet[.]"
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We are hurried out the back door of our little cabin, and {into} the trees.
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disappeared into the mountains above Hill {Dale}
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The ones caught were loaded onto buses[,] women and children were on one and men on another.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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An Unknown history to so many. There is a huge lesson in this. Well done
notes
We are woken with whispers and someone shaking us, "Get up! Hurry-be quiet[.]"
-add
We are hurried out the back door of our little cabin, and {into} the trees.
- change
disappeared into the mountains above Hill {Dale}
-change
The ones caught were loaded onto buses[,] women and children were on one and men on another.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your reply and assistance.
Comment from Janet7053
Thank you for sharing these childhood memories. The events are totally believable. The sadness and anxiety is evident.
The only suggestion I have is a grammar related one. The apostrophes are not needed in bed or pot. Since those are pivotal words of your title, you may want to correct them.
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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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Thank you for sharing these childhood memories. The events are totally believable. The sadness and anxiety is evident.
The only suggestion I have is a grammar related one. The apostrophes are not needed in bed or pot. Since those are pivotal words of your title, you may want to correct them.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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Thank you.
I hope I have corectally used your advice.
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Looks like you have...Good Luck in your writing endeavors.
Comment from tfawcus
Your description is infused with a sense of chaos and panic as the families flee. It is easy to visualise the scene from the graphic nature of your writing. Relating the events through the eyes of a child makes it especially poignant.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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Your description is infused with a sense of chaos and panic as the families flee. It is easy to visualise the scene from the graphic nature of your writing. Relating the events through the eyes of a child makes it especially poignant.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi cbat,
It must have been an interesting life and upbringing for you. I suspect that many today can't imagine what it was like to live without electricity, yet I can remember staying with friends and relatives on farms where lighting was parafin lamps, and even cooking was done on parafin burning stoves.
It is difficult to imagine just how fast the world has changed in those fifty years, and how fast it is changing still.
Patrick
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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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Hi cbat,
It must have been an interesting life and upbringing for you. I suspect that many today can't imagine what it was like to live without electricity, yet I can remember staying with friends and relatives on farms where lighting was parafin lamps, and even cooking was done on parafin burning stoves.
It is difficult to imagine just how fast the world has changed in those fifty years, and how fast it is changing still.
Patrick
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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Thank you much!