Criminal Justice
sixty words exactly-short story26 total reviews
Comment from mikemagine
Ingenious! Wish I had a six for you...
Just for fun, you might consider creating a longer, sci-fi version...have Barnes stalked by a robotic version of Cathy. Have her/it follow him e'where, pointing out his flaws and making a mockery of him, lol.
Mike
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Ingenious! Wish I had a six for you...
Just for fun, you might consider creating a longer, sci-fi version...have Barnes stalked by a robotic version of Cathy. Have her/it follow him e'where, pointing out his flaws and making a mockery of him, lol.
Mike
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mystery Writer
You certainly fulfilled the prompt requirement. Dash in style. No unnecessary words and you've managed a complete story. Drama and high impact and a great image. Acrylic guns that pass under the scanners ... sometimes I wonder what are people thinking. I guess the system does let us down a lot and criminals go free .... "Money talks, ...". I would hate to think someone who murdered my child would get away with it. I actually have met someone who did just that ... smooth and cunning, a despicable man ... yet he was let off scott free. Vigilante justice may just become the way of the world. A good story. I wish you the beast of luck in the contest. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
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Hi Mystery Writer
You certainly fulfilled the prompt requirement. Dash in style. No unnecessary words and you've managed a complete story. Drama and high impact and a great image. Acrylic guns that pass under the scanners ... sometimes I wonder what are people thinking. I guess the system does let us down a lot and criminals go free .... "Money talks, ...". I would hate to think someone who murdered my child would get away with it. I actually have met someone who did just that ... smooth and cunning, a despicable man ... yet he was let off scott free. Vigilante justice may just become the way of the world. A good story. I wish you the beast of luck in the contest. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
Comment from TOMORAL
Honestly, this is the best short-short story I've ever read. If it doesn't win, I will be mystified. Giving up a six for this one. I would love to read the book that could come from this. Blessings~
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Honestly, this is the best short-short story I've ever read. If it doesn't win, I will be mystified. Giving up a six for this one. I would love to read the book that could come from this. Blessings~
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
Comment from humpwhistle
And justice triumphs again! Kind of.
I wonder if acrylic, a thermoplastic, would be a good choice for arms? Acrylic is heavy, and usually used for objects with moving parts.
What did he make the bullets out of?
Best of luck at the polls.
Peace, Lee
Frank worked with plastics making an honest living.
--I think what you mean is, Frank made an honest living working with plastics.--That's the way most people say that.
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And justice triumphs again! Kind of.
I wonder if acrylic, a thermoplastic, would be a good choice for arms? Acrylic is heavy, and usually used for objects with moving parts.
What did he make the bullets out of?
Best of luck at the polls.
Peace, Lee
Frank worked with plastics making an honest living.
--I think what you mean is, Frank made an honest living working with plastics.--That's the way most people say that.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
Comment from judiverse
Excellent work, this. Very impressive for 60 words, and it rates my last six. Use of dialogue is great and nothing is spared. When justice is perverted because someone can afford expensive lawyers or evidence is thrown out on technicalities, it's enough to make someone take the law into his own hands. You told enough about the parties involved to get the point across and kept your surprise until the end. judi
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Excellent work, this. Very impressive for 60 words, and it rates my last six. Use of dialogue is great and nothing is spared. When justice is perverted because someone can afford expensive lawyers or evidence is thrown out on technicalities, it's enough to make someone take the law into his own hands. You told enough about the parties involved to get the point across and kept your surprise until the end. judi
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
Comment from LIJ Red
No problem with editing until all sense is gone with this one. No spags or omissions glaringly obvious. An excellent very short story.
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No problem with editing until all sense is gone with this one. No spags or omissions glaringly obvious. An excellent very short story.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
Comment from robina1978
Nice photo that complements your very short story extremely well. Now I read yours I realised how difficult that must have been. The guilty guy got away with it.
Best wishes for the prompt.
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Nice photo that complements your very short story extremely well. Now I read yours I realised how difficult that must have been. The guilty guy got away with it.
Best wishes for the prompt.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
Comment from alf collier
Hi there. This is my kind of story. I loved it. Succinct, credible and the most honest of the entries. Good luck in the comp. alf
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Hi there. This is my kind of story. I loved it. Succinct, credible and the most honest of the entries. Good luck in the comp. alf
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
Comment from jpduck
I thought this was very clever. A very real story, implying a whole heap of back-story, in exactly sixty words takes some doing. I am most impressed.
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I thought this was very clever. A very real story, implying a whole heap of back-story, in exactly sixty words takes some doing. I am most impressed.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
Comment from Walu Feral
Hahahahaha! Cop that he didn't see that coming and neither did I. This a is a really good entry and I think you have a good chance in this contest, good luck and cheers Fez
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Hahahahaha! Cop that he didn't see that coming and neither did I. This a is a really good entry and I think you have a good chance in this contest, good luck and cheers Fez
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
