Comment from chasennov

Excellent

"The Tell-Tale Bart" Another zinger of a story, Dean. Edgar Allan Poe was a master storyteller, yes, but you're not far behind on the same track. Well done.

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2014

---

reply by the author on 22-Nov-2014

Thanks, chasennov. I appreciate the R&R, my friend.

reply by chasennov on 22-Nov-2014

You are most welcome, my friend.

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

Hi Dean when I
opened your entry first, I was expecting the eyes to blink at me,(just because of you being great at it)

I enjoyed reading about the tell tale bart. He had to own up in the end. Of course with the recommended twist.

Good luck in the contest. Mary

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2014

Thanks, Mary. Actually, the story is a parody, in part, of Edgar Allen Poe's classic ending to his terror story, "The Tell-Tale Heart". In the end, the old man's caretaker has murdered him because the old codger's milky, cataract-covered eye gives him the creeps. He buries him beneath the flooring of his home, and becomes overcome with guilt, shouting at the police who have come to investigate his mysterious disappearance;"Almighty God! --no, no! They heard! --they suspected! --they knew! --they were making a mockery of my horror!-this I thought, and this I think. But anything was better than this agony! Anything was more tolerable than this derision! I could bear those hypocritical smiles no longer! I felt that I must scream or die! and now --again! --hark! louder! louder! louder! louder!

"Villains!" I shrieked, "dissemble no more! I admit the deed! --tear up the planks! here, here! --It is the beating of his hideous heart!"

As far as the contest goes, I lost to Michael Cahill, 15-8. Look at the contests booths of past contests and you'll see the entire tally off all who entered, and the results.

Thanks for the review. :}

Comment from Writingfundimension

Excellent

This is really so clever, Dean. In a very limited format, you spin an effective and gruesome tale. EP would approve of those last two lines, I think.

Good luck, my friend.

:) Bev

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2014

Good heavens I sure hope so, Bev! I'd hate to have his ghost haunting me. Can you imagine...? LOL

Thanks so much for taking the time to R&R it for me.

Much obliged. :}

Dean

reply by Writingfundimension on 21-Nov-2014

Always a pleasure, DeanO. xx Bev

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

Thanks for another fine horror, thriller, poem that gives us a touch of almost everything, and then finishes us off enough humor to make it all blend perfectly. :-)

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2014

Thanks, Ric. It's really a parody of Poe's classic tale, "The Tell-Tell Heart", and more specifically, of the ending scene. Mikey Cahill beat it soundly with his terror tale with a twist, 15-8, in the contest. Still, i appreciate your R&R. It's always a pleasure. :}

~Dean

Comment from ~Dovey

Excellent

This is great, Dean. You have succinctly robbed Poe of one of his greatest creations, in brevity. It has always been one of my favorites. The twist was inspired, as was the illustration. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2014

Thanks, Dovey, and I do appreciate your review and contest well-wishes. Unfortunately, however, the contest ended yesterday, and my story lost, 15-8. Too bad more voters like yourself didn't get to, or care to, perhaps, read it.

Still, I appreciate your thoughtful comments and review. :}

~Dean

reply by ~Dovey on 21-Nov-2014

ahhhh... wish I had seen it sooner. This is the first chance I've had to get here all week. Damn having to work for a living! lol Take care.

Kim

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2014

We all have to, Dovey, so I completely understand.

Don't work too hard, now, ya hear? LOL... :}

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

Dean, I see the dark side you has come out once again, but I totally understand why. I have been to the dark side at times myself. This was a good write. Blessings Patricia.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2014

Thanks, very much. I decided to do a parody of Poe's classic, "The Tell-Tale heart", but it seems parody does not go over all too well here. It failed miserably in the contest, but it was fun to write, just the same.

Thanks again for the R&R. I greatly appreciate it! :}

~Dean

reply by patcelaw on 21-Nov-2014

What can be said of class? I liked it so it was not a complete failure. :-)

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2014

:}...that's true, LOL.

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is an excellent write, dean, you did an excellent job writing this story about the man that was haunted into telling the truth. I enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2014

Thanks, sweet, but I was roundly defeated by Mikey Cahill in this contest which ended yesterday.

I do appreciate you taking the time t review it, however, just the same.

Thanks.

Comment from Sloegin

Excellent

A good read cleverly presented. I had to read it twice to get the full brunt of what you were presenting. You did a good job.
No SPAGEs apparent, the sign of a writer who takes care with his work.
This is good enough to be published, I just don't know where, but I'm sure many would enjoy reading it.
Keep writing.
sloegin

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2014

Thanks, Sloegin, I appreciate it.

It's a parody of the ending of Poe's classic, The Tell-Tale Heart. Unfortunately, parody did not sit too well with the voters of the contest, and my story was roundly shot down in flames. Still, I had fun creating it -- you had a good time reading it -- and that's really what it's all about, isn't it...this writing thing we feel so compelled to do?

Thanks again. Your comments are appreciated.

~Dean

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Hi DeanO, loving this parody of Edgar Allan Poe's 'Tell tale heart' my friend, Excellent writing on it's own merit, I should think you have a foot in the grave- I mean door, with this brilliant story my friend.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2014

Nah, I got my butt spanked in this contest, Eric, 15-8. It's the very last time I do parody, I'll tell you that, LOL.

reply by Eric1 on 22-Nov-2014

Well ya can't win em all mate, lol

reply by the author on 22-Nov-2014

No, but you can try, LOL...

Comment from Ekim777

Excellent

We are probably at the tail end of the Gothic end that began two centuries ago. Poe was a wonderful romantic poet and a poor horror story creator. I recognized the latter as a psychic blood letting for his discovery that his mother was sleeping with his uncle. Anyway Horror stories fascinate me but they must delve into the world of the psyche. The bizarre ending saved this post which poses more of the macabre than horror. I think the tradition of realism; a la Emile Zola is a more fertile ground for horror. I think we need a predominance of cruelty and domination of one soul by another. Good luck. -Ekim777

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2014

Good luck? GOOD LUCK!?! Hah, I got my behind handed to me in this contest my friend, 15-8. It'll be the very last time I do a parody, I can tell you that, LOL...

Thanks.