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Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The Third Station"A Flash Fiction Collection
23 total reviews
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Four paragraphs from end... 'You ask way? (Why)
This is a very powerful and moving story, one that resonated with me very much. Excellently written. My very best wishes for the competition.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Four paragraphs from end... 'You ask way? (Why)
This is a very powerful and moving story, one that resonated with me very much. Excellently written. My very best wishes for the competition.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Thank you very much. Great catch. I missed that one so many times it isn't funny.
Comment from amahra
Though I was a little confused in the beginning, I really liked the story and the moral of it. Very interesting story.
The loud slap to her face that got the old man's attention. [Fragment] [take out the word 'that']
As pretty as she was, he knew at any other time, she would have looked better, because at that moment she was being beaten by a man three times her size. [Would a witness to such a crime think about how better she'd look if a man three times her size wasn't beating her? I don't think so.]
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Though I was a little confused in the beginning, I really liked the story and the moral of it. Very interesting story.
The loud slap to her face that got the old man's attention. [Fragment] [take out the word 'that']
As pretty as she was, he knew at any other time, she would have looked better, because at that moment she was being beaten by a man three times her size. [Would a witness to such a crime think about how better she'd look if a man three times her size wasn't beating her? I don't think so.]
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Bravo! A sure winner for the contest I think. Superbly story with a creepy, but believable, set up. I guess the train hit the bully after all, and now he's on his way to Hell. :)
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Bravo! A sure winner for the contest I think. Superbly story with a creepy, but believable, set up. I guess the train hit the bully after all, and now he's on his way to Hell. :)
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Thank you very much. I do know if it will win, but it was a interesting contest.
Comment from c_lucas
Evil matches evil, but refuse to face Good. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Evil matches evil, but refuse to face Good. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Thank you very much
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You're welcome.
Comment from sibhus
Wow, this is really good. Great details with a wonderful sense of suspense clinging to every word that makes for a delightful read. the details are so well crafted and help to move the story along so well. I don't think I have to wish you luck, because I'm positive that you will win the contest habnds down.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Wow, this is really good. Great details with a wonderful sense of suspense clinging to every word that makes for a delightful read. the details are so well crafted and help to move the story along so well. I don't think I have to wish you luck, because I'm positive that you will win the contest habnds down.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Thank you very much. It was a great contest idea.
Comment from lakeport
The third station,indeed there is a lot going, Alois remembering horrible events...I enjoyed reading the story.God bless you,lakeport.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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The third station,indeed there is a lot going, Alois remembering horrible events...I enjoyed reading the story.God bless you,lakeport.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Thank you very much
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your welcome,Lakeport
Comment from mikemagine
Well, I think I've avoided the train, but the message in this story HAS struck me. The old man, I'm assuming was/is Adolph...
We're given freedom of choice, a great gift, yet, too often we choose wrongly. Many say God doesn't send folks to Hell - they put themselves there. That sounds 'bout right. I know very little about theology, but there are parts of it that are known, inherently, by everyone...
Bravo!
Mike
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Well, I think I've avoided the train, but the message in this story HAS struck me. The old man, I'm assuming was/is Adolph...
We're given freedom of choice, a great gift, yet, too often we choose wrongly. Many say God doesn't send folks to Hell - they put themselves there. That sounds 'bout right. I know very little about theology, but there are parts of it that are known, inherently, by everyone...
Bravo!
Mike
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Thank you very much, Mike. I'm glad you enjoyed my dip into the Supernatural.
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Your story or Another Aspect will win the contest. Imo, they are easily the best-written:-)
Cheers!
Comment from Michaelk
Hitler, cursed to forever hold the diary of Anne Frank? That is what I call poetic justice. You get a six star for that alone.
Your story is brilliant. Your descriptions and characters shine. The mood you create is subtle yet makes the hair stand on the back of my neck. The tension is awesome and builds at a steady pace. Your ending has a nice twist and reminds me a little bit of the movie 'Ghost'.
Excellent job. Well deserving of six stars.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Hitler, cursed to forever hold the diary of Anne Frank? That is what I call poetic justice. You get a six star for that alone.
Your story is brilliant. Your descriptions and characters shine. The mood you create is subtle yet makes the hair stand on the back of my neck. The tension is awesome and builds at a steady pace. Your ending has a nice twist and reminds me a little bit of the movie 'Ghost'.
Excellent job. Well deserving of six stars.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Thank you very much. Ghost was a great movie. I like the going to hell part. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from bhogg
I sort of saw the character coming, but it did not detract from the tension you created from your post. It certainly kept my attention from start to finish. Good luck in your contest. Bill
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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I sort of saw the character coming, but it did not detract from the tension you created from your post. It certainly kept my attention from start to finish. Good luck in your contest. Bill
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from ravim
Beautifully written with that supernatural element playing a key role, but never dominating the underlying message. Finely crafted, your philosophic statements are really touching. There's typo in the line italicized. Minor. I really loved that and hope to read that again in the evening.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Beautifully written with that supernatural element playing a key role, but never dominating the underlying message. Finely crafted, your philosophic statements are really touching. There's typo in the line italicized. Minor. I really loved that and hope to read that again in the evening.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Thank you very much