Wallyworld
Man goes crazy in line at Wal-Mart19 total reviews
Comment from kiwisteveh
.... and yet you are still with us, unlike poor Bill.
I enjoyed the touch of black humour in the last line. Thank you for sharing this humorous piece with just a touch of real-life gripe.
Steve
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
.... and yet you are still with us, unlike poor Bill.
I enjoyed the touch of black humour in the last line. Thank you for sharing this humorous piece with just a touch of real-life gripe.
Steve
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Thank you for reviewing and your time in commenting.
Comment from w.j.debi
Oh, that is just not right. Change cashiers at that spot if you must, but don't make people wait in line and then pull that on them. Time is valuable and that is terrible customer service. I admit, Walmart is not my favorite place to shop and you give me one more reason not to go in their doors.
Excellent end rhyming and good rhythm in your verse.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
Oh, that is just not right. Change cashiers at that spot if you must, but don't make people wait in line and then pull that on them. Time is valuable and that is terrible customer service. I admit, Walmart is not my favorite place to shop and you give me one more reason not to go in their doors.
Excellent end rhyming and good rhythm in your verse.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Thank you for your review and taking the time to read.
Comment from Nosha17
30 minutes on line is a bit too much and then to have that thrust before your nose! Good touch of humour. The old guy just couldn't take it anymore. Good use of rhyming and fun read. faye
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
30 minutes on line is a bit too much and then to have that thrust before your nose! Good touch of humour. The old guy just couldn't take it anymore. Good use of rhyming and fun read. faye
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review. Glad you liked it.
Comment from mrsmajor
I enjoyed this story poem, it was well written, and the rhymed couplets was a good form choice...I have to say that I've had that experience more than once...One time I got so annoyed, I walked away from the register....how foolish, I only had to go to another market, to do my shopping...lol
Thanks for giving me a smile..
Warmly,
Victoria
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
I enjoyed this story poem, it was well written, and the rhymed couplets was a good form choice...I have to say that I've had that experience more than once...One time I got so annoyed, I walked away from the register....how foolish, I only had to go to another market, to do my shopping...lol
Thanks for giving me a smile..
Warmly,
Victoria
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Your welcome, I am glad it made you smile.
Yes, I enjoyed it, especially since I could identify with it...lol
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Most of us have been there, too. I believe the problem is lack of training on the part of Wal-Mart. They are in it for the money. It is not the checker's fault, although it looks like it is to most of us. Your poem had good flow. I like the rhyme. I like the development of the theme. I see nothing to change. (that is except Wal-Mart and their lack of concern for their customers). If WM paid more and gave workers decent hours, then more would likely WANT to work there. But that is a different story. Good job and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
Most of us have been there, too. I believe the problem is lack of training on the part of Wal-Mart. They are in it for the money. It is not the checker's fault, although it looks like it is to most of us. Your poem had good flow. I like the rhyme. I like the development of the theme. I see nothing to change. (that is except Wal-Mart and their lack of concern for their customers). If WM paid more and gave workers decent hours, then more would likely WANT to work there. But that is a different story. Good job and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Thank you for your review and comments.
Comment from Glasstruth
This would normally not be that interesting, but written in rhyme you tell an excellent story/poem about an everyday affair. Like how you split it up into couplets. Well crafted. Les
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
This would normally not be that interesting, but written in rhyme you tell an excellent story/poem about an everyday affair. Like how you split it up into couplets. Well crafted. Les
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Thank you for your compliment and for taking the time to write a review.
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is a humorous - or maybe mostly frustrating! - poem about the long checkout line at WalMart. Funny line: "Cleanup on register five." Best regards, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
This is a humorous - or maybe mostly frustrating! - poem about the long checkout line at WalMart. Funny line: "Cleanup on register five." Best regards, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Thank you for taking the time to read and write a review.
Comment from Dawny53
Oh my god.. I laughed so damn hard when I got to the end of this poem.. I'm reading along and I'm thinking to myself.. well, this really does tell it like it is, I rather like it.. and then all of a sudden.. BAM.. This is a wonderfully refreshing change of pace from the ordinary, thanks for the laugh!
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
Oh my god.. I laughed so damn hard when I got to the end of this poem.. I'm reading along and I'm thinking to myself.. well, this really does tell it like it is, I rather like it.. and then all of a sudden.. BAM.. This is a wonderfully refreshing change of pace from the ordinary, thanks for the laugh!
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Glad you enjoyed it. I always like to make someone laugh.
Comment from Cbrand
I go to wal mart all the time so I could relate to this poem. I to was very humorous I could not help but laugh. Great job and thanks for making me smile.
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reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
I go to wal mart all the time so I could relate to this poem. I to was very humorous I could not help but laugh. Great job and thanks for making me smile.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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You are welcome. I am glad it made you laugh. I always like to make people laugh when I can.