Sonnets
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Time's Pretense"A collection of sonnets
30 total reviews
Comment from Genya
A very interesting read and a strong contender in this contest. Time does have a strong grip on us and there is nothing we can do about it. Quite dark and haunting. Excellent words which portray Time in a way that can cause fear and concern. Brilliant poem. Love the last stanza. I hear you brag and boast, your voice is shrill, yet I am moving you are standing still. Wow, the power of those two lines. Genya
  |
A very interesting read and a strong contender in this contest. Time does have a strong grip on us and there is nothing we can do about it. Quite dark and haunting. Excellent words which portray Time in a way that can cause fear and concern. Brilliant poem. Love the last stanza. I hear you brag and boast, your voice is shrill, yet I am moving you are standing still. Wow, the power of those two lines. Genya
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
Comment from trimple
Hello there, Mikey
What a great entry! You have certainly taken this topic of time and given you're all.
Time having a grip on us...
I found your sonnet very spooky, and oh so true. LOL
Good luck my friend
kind regards
trimple:)
|
Hello there, Mikey
What a great entry! You have certainly taken this topic of time and given you're all.
Time having a grip on us...
I found your sonnet very spooky, and oh so true. LOL
Good luck my friend
kind regards
trimple:)
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
Comment from robina1978
I thoroughly enjoyed your Sonnet, different from the others I read. Your foot note is nice too. A worthy entry for the prompt. Unfortunately I have already voted for somebody else. Best wishes for the prompt.
|
I thoroughly enjoyed your Sonnet, different from the others I read. Your foot note is nice too. A worthy entry for the prompt. Unfortunately I have already voted for somebody else. Best wishes for the prompt.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
Comment from drivenbackward
Creepy. Time is a very creepy topic to me. It's the most indestructible force on the planet. Not much we can do about it (yet). Enjoyed.
tear soaked lips -- 'tear-soaked lips'
|
Creepy. Time is a very creepy topic to me. It's the most indestructible force on the planet. Not much we can do about it (yet). Enjoyed.
tear soaked lips -- 'tear-soaked lips'
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
Comment from royowen
Whatever we may boldly declare, reading into your clever and defiant cry, whatever resistance we may offer, will one day be brushed aside and the grip inexorably tightened, however until that day I'll cling to the one over whom no time constraints have power! Well done with this one Mikey, a superbly written sonnet, it's rhyming and rhythmic meter are good, rhyme has slight imperfections but that doesn't bother, your theme is penned in a most compelling way, I enjoyed it, good job! Blessings, Roy.
|
Whatever we may boldly declare, reading into your clever and defiant cry, whatever resistance we may offer, will one day be brushed aside and the grip inexorably tightened, however until that day I'll cling to the one over whom no time constraints have power! Well done with this one Mikey, a superbly written sonnet, it's rhyming and rhythmic meter are good, rhyme has slight imperfections but that doesn't bother, your theme is penned in a most compelling way, I enjoyed it, good job! Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
Comment from CR Delport
This is very well done and filled with emotion. I don't know enough about poetry to know if it conform to the rules or not, but should have a good chance. Good luck.
|
This is very well done and filled with emotion. I don't know enough about poetry to know if it conform to the rules or not, but should have a good chance. Good luck.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
Comment from Joe_P
Interesting. Time has a grip on us, choking the life out of us, yet does it not dominate us? You say no, it does not; we are not at Time's mercy. Good luck in the contest.
|
Interesting. Time has a grip on us, choking the life out of us, yet does it not dominate us? You say no, it does not; we are not at Time's mercy. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
Comment from Spitfire
At first, this sounds liked sadistic sex. Okay, then I thought it was about money and its grip on you. Now I see the writing prompt subject so I go back an reread.
In truth, you have no power over me.
My journey travels boldly over you.
Now I get it, but not sure I agree. Days go by too fast for me.
A well-written sonnet, mikey. Congrats on conquering this difficult form.
|
At first, this sounds liked sadistic sex. Okay, then I thought it was about money and its grip on you. Now I see the writing prompt subject so I go back an reread.
In truth, you have no power over me.
My journey travels boldly over you.
Now I get it, but not sure I agree. Days go by too fast for me.
A well-written sonnet, mikey. Congrats on conquering this difficult form.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2014
Comment from Jay Squires
An interesting poem, Mikey. Understanding, to me, revolves around the debt. And, I see in the next stanza it's the debt of time, borrowed time.
I know in a relationship the time spent to develop and secure it, could be a debt, but if the one wants to continue to control your time, and you are using yours to move in what to you is an important direction... the other is standing still and you are moving.
How'd I do? Not good, huh?
|
An interesting poem, Mikey. Understanding, to me, revolves around the debt. And, I see in the next stanza it's the debt of time, borrowed time.
I know in a relationship the time spent to develop and secure it, could be a debt, but if the one wants to continue to control your time, and you are using yours to move in what to you is an important direction... the other is standing still and you are moving.
How'd I do? Not good, huh?
Comment Written 22-Oct-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
Flawless meter and rhyme. I love how you slowly overcome the intimidation you feel and come to understand that you control yourself and time has no dominion over you. Wonderful triumphant closing!!
 |
Flawless meter and rhyme. I love how you slowly overcome the intimidation you feel and come to understand that you control yourself and time has no dominion over you. Wonderful triumphant closing!!
Comment Written 22-Oct-2014
