Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

I think syllable count is debate able. I live in Atlanta Georgia where it can nave two or three.but that's just hear-say
I guess there will be plenty of guys going to the fair if her picture is advertising it...
God bless

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014

Well, hopefully she's true to just the one fella, kiwijenny, the one she asked if he was going to the fair or not. Butt...er, ha-ha, oops! I mean BUT, the way things are today, that's debatable, too. :}

Comment from JudyS

Excellent

Very good entry to the contest. I think you nailed this one perfectly. It's a fun read. Best of luck with it. Have a great week ahead. Judy

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014

Sorry for this 'cut-and-paste' response, Judy. It's my fault I have fallen so far behind. I just wanted you to know that I appreciate your support and your readership, very much!

Thank you!

Comment from fastdigits

Excellent

Well, in but seventeen syllables
you have painted this picture of
a fair lass enticing a country bumpkin
to ask her to the fair, and with that
shape and smile, what fool wouldn't
Well done and good luck

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014

Thanks, fastdigits, for your kind comments and review. :)

Comment from Acquired Taste

Excellent

I never looked like that in MY Daisy Dukes! This is a lot of fun - like anyone with remedial vision wouldn't answer yes to that question - especially from her. Very cute take on the prompt!

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014

Me either, Jean, heh-heh!

Thanks for your kind review of this silly thing. I just wanted to try and lighten up the mood a bit around here, ya know? :)

reply by Acquired Taste on 28-Sep-2014

Well, you got my vote before - good luck.

reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014

Thanks again, and I really appreciate it. :) I may be losing my butt...er, but, in this contest, still, it was lots of fun to write!

Comment from donaldww

Excellent

An outstanding picture and cute poem. I agree that y'all has only one syllable. But you should have checked "goin'" as well. It has only one syllable, which means L2 has only 6 syllables total, not the required 7.

Second Review: Problem Solved!

Cheers,
DW

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014

Thanks, Donald, and I'll be sure to look into that.

Much obliged. :)

reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014

I made the necessary changes, Donald, and thanks for saving my bacon.

reply by donaldww on 28-Sep-2014

Ok. I upped your rating from good to excellent!

Good luck in the contest!

Cheers, DW

reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014

Thanks again, Donald. I'm surprised it wasn't disqualified already. The contest committee must be napping, thank goodness! :)

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

Awesome picture. The poem is a perfect match. Sexually motivated, and county fairs is a good place to meet other people. Well crafted. Les

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014

Thanks, Les. My first date with my dear wife was at a local county fair. That was one of the days i remember most fondly of all, even to this day.

Thanks so much for your comments and kind review, my friend. :}

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this poem about the picture of double cheekiness that leads someone to the fair like a pied piper, lol. good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014

Hah ha, men, right? We're so gullible when it comes to a pretty...ah, face, LOL.

Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful review, sweet. i do appreciate it. It's bombing in the contest, but I kind of figured it would. :}

Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

But I make it THREE syllables. Just kidding.

The artwork alone was worth checking this out, but I'm having trouble casting my eyes down to your words. :-)

Fun post.

Good luck and best wishes, Ray.

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014

Ha ha, I know, ray. I even had a bit of trouble writing them. My eyes kept going to the picture, LMAO.

Thanks so much for your kind review of this wacky thing.

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

This is a wonderfully written entry which meets all of the requirements splendidly. Well there is no missing what the attraction at the fair is for you LOL. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014

Thanks, Monica. I'm happy you saw the humor in this, and took no offense by it. I was simply trying to lighten the mood up around here a little bit, is all.

Thanks so much again. :)

reply by Mystic Angel 7777 on 28-Sep-2014

You did a fine job and I got a huge giggle out of it. Hmmmmm ... perhaps sexually explicit artwork will become taboo next LOL.

reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014

I don't know, I see a lot of it here. But, because I am the one who posted this, I'm sure it's a possibility, LMAO!

reply by Mystic Angel 7777 on 28-Sep-2014

ROFL

Comment from stroncoso1

Good

This is tongue and cheek and humorous. You followed the guidelines of a 5-7-5 syllabic count in its respective line. Your picture accompanies your poem exceedingly well and the reader understands the enthusiasm "Am now!"

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014

Thanks, stroncoso1. So, why the four-star rating? What about it can I improve, respectfully, to raise it to at least a five? It is a 5-7-5, and not senryu, or haiku.

Are there grammatical issues? Poor punctuation? Is the syllable count off? Perhaps the photo offends you, and you would like it changed.

Usually, any rating under a five is accompanied by some constructive criticism. I saw nothing but compliments.