The Letter
Short Story prompt: Dearest, would this be of interest ...29 total reviews
Comment from gypsycaravan
Now, this is going to be the first chapter of a great story. Well-written and a little mystery besides. Possibly even a ghost or two. Ha. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2014
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Now, this is going to be the first chapter of a great story. Well-written and a little mystery besides. Possibly even a ghost or two. Ha. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much, gypsy caravan, for this encouraging review and your gift of stars. I'm thinking of turning it into a short story or novella.
Comment from mfowler
This is an excellent take on teh prompt. You've created an intriguing mystery for the family and given enough connective clues to help the reader work through it. Nicely written around a well described setting, with just enough of a teaser at the end to keep it interesting.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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This is an excellent take on teh prompt. You've created an intriguing mystery for the family and given enough connective clues to help the reader work through it. Nicely written around a well described setting, with just enough of a teaser at the end to keep it interesting.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Many thanks for your very kind review, mfowler.
Comment from scd41
Your entry for the writing prompt contest is quite interesting. Such attics, as the one in Darley House abandoned over decades, easily earn notoriety either for some alleged serious crime committed at the place or for being haunted. The picture adds to the suspense as also the letter's date and the intriguing signature at the end. Well written!
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Your entry for the writing prompt contest is quite interesting. Such attics, as the one in Darley House abandoned over decades, easily earn notoriety either for some alleged serious crime committed at the place or for being haunted. The picture adds to the suspense as also the letter's date and the intriguing signature at the end. Well written!
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Many thanks for your very kind review, scd41.
Comment from Michaelk
Excellent story. I was hooked from when Edward mentioned that it could be Claire's mother. You built your tension well by mentioning the place being haunted and the shiver down her spine. An excellent twist at the end, and a masterful stroke having the Aunt describe the whole thing while Edward and Claire remain oblivious.
Great story.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Excellent story. I was hooked from when Edward mentioned that it could be Claire's mother. You built your tension well by mentioning the place being haunted and the shiver down her spine. An excellent twist at the end, and a masterful stroke having the Aunt describe the whole thing while Edward and Claire remain oblivious.
Great story.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Many thanks for your very kind review, Michaelk.
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi Mr. ?,
I don't usually care for mysteries, but I love ghost stories. With impeccable writing skills, you drew me in and kept my interest throughout. Your wonderful descriptions allowed this reader to feel like she was right there with your characters. I'm going with a mystical interpretation at the end.
By way of critique: Paragraph starting with 'The words came back' I don't know if you meant this to be two paragraphs because of the spacing in second sentence. Also, spacing problem with last paragraph. A very minor nit.
Hugs,
Lou
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Hi Mr. ?,
I don't usually care for mysteries, but I love ghost stories. With impeccable writing skills, you drew me in and kept my interest throughout. Your wonderful descriptions allowed this reader to feel like she was right there with your characters. I'm going with a mystical interpretation at the end.
By way of critique: Paragraph starting with 'The words came back' I don't know if you meant this to be two paragraphs because of the spacing in second sentence. Also, spacing problem with last paragraph. A very minor nit.
Hugs,
Lou
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Many thanks for your very kind review, Lou.
Comment from humpwhistle
An ambitious story for so few words. I like that you leave it to the reader to put the clues together.
One thing that confuses me is the date of the letter--1843.
Then what year is the current story being told?
Or have several generations passed?
Do you see my confusion?
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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An ambitious story for so few words. I like that you leave it to the reader to put the clues together.
One thing that confuses me is the date of the letter--1843.
Then what year is the current story being told?
Or have several generations passed?
Do you see my confusion?
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Many thanks for your review, Lee. You are absolutely right. I may see if I can develop this into a short story sometime, in which case I shall make Annette Claire's grandmother, or even great-grandmother.
Comment from Nosha17
That was a lovely story, sounds a bit like the beginning of a longer story, maybe? Very well written, with intriguing details being uncovered of the circumstances surrounding the death of Sir George. Nice detailed descriptions of setting and thoroughly enjoyable. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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That was a lovely story, sounds a bit like the beginning of a longer story, maybe? Very well written, with intriguing details being uncovered of the circumstances surrounding the death of Sir George. Nice detailed descriptions of setting and thoroughly enjoyable. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Many thanks for your very kind review, Faye.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi,
This is such a good start that could be a novel! You really should think about it.
Below, it looks like a couple of system glitches with spacing.
~~ This sentence needs a space below it, or moved up if is's a part of above paragraph. ~~
>> her spine had added a vicarious thrill to the exploration.
~~ Need space below this sentence. ~~
>> Back at the old house Edward called out in excitement from the French windows.
Nicely done. Good luck in the contest
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*>*)
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Hi,
This is such a good start that could be a novel! You really should think about it.
Below, it looks like a couple of system glitches with spacing.
~~ This sentence needs a space below it, or moved up if is's a part of above paragraph. ~~
>> her spine had added a vicarious thrill to the exploration.
~~ Need space below this sentence. ~~
>> Back at the old house Edward called out in excitement from the French windows.
Nicely done. Good luck in the contest
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*>*)
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Many thanks for your very kind review, Jax. I have amended the spacing glitches now. I may see if I can further develop this into a short story or novella at some stage. I'm not sure that I have the stamina for a full-blown novel!
Comment from DSMalott
Very good.
This is so good for responding to a writing prompt. Great intrigue and drama in just a few paragraphs. This would no doubt be a great short story.
Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Very good.
This is so good for responding to a writing prompt. Great intrigue and drama in just a few paragraphs. This would no doubt be a great short story.
Well done.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Many thanks for your very kind review, DSMalott. I may see if I can further develop this into a short story or novella at some stage.
Comment from Terror2s
Ah, the black skeletons of family. You did a good job with your descriptions, and the story flowed well and was easy to read. Thanks for sharing. T2
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Ah, the black skeletons of family. You did a good job with your descriptions, and the story flowed well and was easy to read. Thanks for sharing. T2
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Many thanks for your very kind review, T2.
