Unbind my Mind.
Designed to... (jaq cee)18 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This mono-rhyme keeps a consistent message all the way through and doesn't seemed forced into the rhyme scheme. The topic is a popular one that we endlessly try to achieve.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
This mono-rhyme keeps a consistent message all the way through and doesn't seemed forced into the rhyme scheme. The topic is a popular one that we endlessly try to achieve.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much Bill for your lovely review :) x
Comment from DanielEkine
A mono-rhyme poem you truly are.
For these words are the words of a talented poet.
For I am honored to read such poem.
No politics can take that away from me.
Nicely done.
Have a wonderful week ahead.
"Lord, take me from this daily grind
off to a place where I may find
a life so beautifully designed
where love and joy are redefined." Refined indeed.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
A mono-rhyme poem you truly are.
For these words are the words of a talented poet.
For I am honored to read such poem.
No politics can take that away from me.
Nicely done.
Have a wonderful week ahead.
"Lord, take me from this daily grind
off to a place where I may find
a life so beautifully designed
where love and joy are redefined." Refined indeed.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
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Many thanks for a wonderful review, it means a lot :)x
Comment from lakeport
Unbind my mind, indeed that's a very heartfelt expressed poem, very nice rhyming. Good luck at the contest. God bless you. Lakeport.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
Unbind my mind, indeed that's a very heartfelt expressed poem, very nice rhyming. Good luck at the contest. God bless you. Lakeport.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
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Thanks as always for your review Lakeport and may God bless you too :) x
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your welcome.Lakeport.
Comment from Leineco
Hey!. . . . .not bad at all :-)
A nice mix of the -ind rhyme that doesn't feel bludgeoning, and in fact close to half of them even slide by un-noticed :-)
And a very well stated message to boot!
Nice write :-)
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
Hey!. . . . .not bad at all :-)
A nice mix of the -ind rhyme that doesn't feel bludgeoning, and in fact close to half of them even slide by un-noticed :-)
And a very well stated message to boot!
Nice write :-)
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
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Leinco so glad you enjoyed this one, thanks for your review. :) x
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is really well done. I love the use of multi-syllable rhyming words here... reminds me of the style of GracieAnn whose poetic vocabulary is quite broad. REads well, makes sense, and looks like a winner to me. Hope I'm right. :)
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
This is really well done. I love the use of multi-syllable rhyming words here... reminds me of the style of GracieAnn whose poetic vocabulary is quite broad. REads well, makes sense, and looks like a winner to me. Hope I'm right. :)
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
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Aww thank you so much for your wonderful review Phyllis, you are too kind :) x
Comment from mbagby23
As long as we are in our right mind we can be alright. Lord keep our mind. When their mind is done its hard for them to think right. Or do the right things to take care of ourselves and others.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
As long as we are in our right mind we can be alright. Lord keep our mind. When their mind is done its hard for them to think right. Or do the right things to take care of ourselves and others.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Very true mbagby23, it's nice to be able to think clearly :). Many thanks for your kind words x
Comment from Fandoodle
The daily grid we all endure each day-yes. Is there such a word as defeatist? I don't think so but writers can make up words. Thanks for sharing it and good writing.
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reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
The daily grid we all endure each day-yes. Is there such a word as defeatist? I don't think so but writers can make up words. Thanks for sharing it and good writing.
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Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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de·feat·ist [dih-fee-tist] Show IPA
noun
1.
a person who surrenders easily or is subject to defeatism.
There surely is my friend. Maybe it's more over our side of the pond it's used. Many thanks for your lovely review. x
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is a well done monorhymed poem, also having a pleasant rhythm and flow. The rhymes are woven into the poem with skill and do not feel contrived. I especially like stanza three, and I like the way the poem ends on a positive note. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
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reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
This is a well done monorhymed poem, also having a pleasant rhythm and flow. The rhymes are woven into the poem with skill and do not feel contrived. I especially like stanza three, and I like the way the poem ends on a positive note. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Jeanie thank you so much for your very kind review. x