Short Form Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "haiku (dying whale draws crowd)"A Collection Of Short Form Poetry
14 total reviews
Comment from Domino 2
This is an extremely original and thoughtful haiku about nature's balance as the shrimp get a reprieve due to the sad demise of the whale.
Good luck and best wishes, Ted
This is an extremely original and thoughtful haiku about nature's balance as the shrimp get a reprieve due to the sad demise of the whale.
Good luck and best wishes, Ted
Comment Written 03-Jun-2014
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
Although this makes a very interesting and true statement, I think it would be better as a haiku if it had more direct concrete imagery. (The reader can't see the plankton growing in numbers.) I rate it as a five though, since I did not make that stipulation in the rules. Good luck to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2014
Although this makes a very interesting and true statement, I think it would be better as a haiku if it had more direct concrete imagery. (The reader can't see the plankton growing in numbers.) I rate it as a five though, since I did not make that stipulation in the rules. Good luck to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 03-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2014
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An excellent point. I originally had "brine shrimp" instead of plankton, but was afraid that no one would know what they were. It is a better picture, appearing as a reddish cloud in the sea in large numbers. Maybe I'll change it back and cross my fingers. Thank you for the thoughtful review!
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I noticed you had changed to "brine shrimp." I did not know about plankton's appearing as a reddish cloud in the sea. Both sound fine to me.
Comment from Glasstruth
At the moment nature seems unbalanced by man's destruction, but in the end it'll all balance out. That dying whale might have company soon. LOL. Wonderfully written. Les
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At the moment nature seems unbalanced by man's destruction, but in the end it'll all balance out. That dying whale might have company soon. LOL. Wonderfully written. Les
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Comment Written 02-Jun-2014
Comment from lakeport
Dying whale draws crowed, indeed they are such beautiful sea creature and saidly hunted to much. that's a very nice expressed Haiku, Good luck at the contest. God bless you. Lakeport....
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Dying whale draws crowed, indeed they are such beautiful sea creature and saidly hunted to much. that's a very nice expressed Haiku, Good luck at the contest. God bless you. Lakeport....
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2014