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Short Form Poetry

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "haiku (dying whale draws crowd)"
A Collection Of Short Form Poetry

14 total reviews 
Comment from Domino 2
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This is an extremely original and thoughtful haiku about nature's balance as the shrimp get a reprieve due to the sad demise of the whale.

Good luck and best wishes, Ted


 Comment Written 03-Jun-2014

Comment from Jeanie Mercer
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Although this makes a very interesting and true statement, I think it would be better as a haiku if it had more direct concrete imagery. (The reader can't see the plankton growing in numbers.) I rate it as a five though, since I did not make that stipulation in the rules. Good luck to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 03-Jun-2014
    An excellent point. I originally had "brine shrimp" instead of plankton, but was afraid that no one would know what they were. It is a better picture, appearing as a reddish cloud in the sea in large numbers. Maybe I'll change it back and cross my fingers. Thank you for the thoughtful review!
reply by Jeanie Mercer on 03-Jun-2014
    I noticed you had changed to "brine shrimp." I did not know about plankton's appearing as a reddish cloud in the sea. Both sound fine to me.
Comment from Glasstruth
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At the moment nature seems unbalanced by man's destruction, but in the end it'll all balance out. That dying whale might have company soon. LOL. Wonderfully written. Les

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 Comment Written 02-Jun-2014

Comment from lakeport
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Dying whale draws crowed, indeed they are such beautiful sea creature and saidly hunted to much. that's a very nice expressed Haiku, Good luck at the contest. God bless you. Lakeport....

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 Comment Written 02-Jun-2014