Comment from royowen

Excellent

What a wonderful tribute to the flush of love, particularly the love that comes when one is young! The descriptive language you used in this well written, is exquisite in its delivery. Well done, Blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014

So pleased you enjoyed this poem, Roy. Thanks for sharing.

Comment from RYME4U

Excellent

This is very well done and so romantic The free verse bounces along happily. I love the picture that your words paint and Winslow Homer's artwork is a perfect match.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014

I am delighted you like both the painting and the poem so much. Thanks for sharing.

Comment from nancyjam

Excellent

I love your sweet poem of young love,
and how the memory lingers to this day.
You set a romantic scene and the reader
knows, through your description how shy
the speaker was and how much in love.
I love the picture you chose as well.
Good luck in the contest. Nancy

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014

I am so pleased your like the poem and the picture (How can you go wrong with Winslow?). Thank you for your lovely comments and best wishes.

Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Excellent

This really captures a beautifully romantic moment. The poem has the ring of truth, and no doubt the incident is a cherished memory. I hope you have good luck in the contest. Blessings, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014

Thank you, Jeanie. Yes, this is based on a cherished memory. I am so pleased you enjoyed it.

Comment from paula ann

Excellent

lovely poem and defiantly light and very sweet with a lovely picture giving a feeling of peacefulness. I enjoyed reading this poem

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014

Thank you, paula ann, for sharing my poem and your kind comments.

Comment from donaldww

Excellent

The poet recalls a moment resting on a moonlit (no hyphen required) shore beside a girl, holding her hand, kissing, etc. The feelings drawn out from that encounter have remained with him to this day.

My suggestion is to drop the first line: Very young. It doesn't add anything to the narrative, and is distracting. The poem really starts on the next line.

Good luck with the contest!

Cheers, DW

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014

Thank you so much, DW. I will definitely consider your suggestion.

Comment from Fridayauthor

Excellent

Very nice, and touching. Good choice of words and I'm a long time fan of Winslow Homer, he came from my neck of the shore.

Did you perhaps try... Deep in my chest... or in their searching way...?

I enjoyed it!

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014

Thank you, Fridayauthor, for your lovely comments. Yes, I did consider other ways of expressing that feeling "within his chest" such as "inside" and decided this best expressed my intent.

Comment from kiwijenny

Exceptional

This is adorable ,.....my heart bird hopping in my chest...just adorable.
You get a six from me for the sweetness and the continuity, the wondrous feeling lingers
God bless

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014

Wow! I am immensely flattered by your response to this poem. So pleased you enjoyed it and found it adorable. Thank you for all those lovely stars.

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

Nicely written love poem with good choice of words and rhyme. It flowed well and was an enjoyable read. Nice illustration, good luck in the contest. Faye

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014

Thank you, Faye, for sharing my poem and for your lovely comments & best wishes.