Reviews from

Weeding My Head

free verse

27 total reviews 
Comment from NicciFaye
Excellent
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The message in this is truly a beautiful message..I mean..truly Teresa! I can't even tell you how much of these poetic thoughts are just uplifting. Excellent.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2014
    Thank you so much Nicci!
Comment from amada
Excellent
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I love, I just love the title "weeding my head." Welcome to the club! My head needs cleaning and throw some junk away as well. Can i have some of your happiness seeds?

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2014
    Sure I'll send some over:) Thanks so much. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from tbacha58
Excellent
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I'll pluck tainted thoughts from my brain
and weed the garden of my head
sow seeds of happiness instead

Hello my dearest T. what a beautiful heartfelt piece of positiveness you have penned tonight. Loved the subject, the energy, strength, a beautiful decision full of hope for a wonderful tomorrow. Do it, and keep everything look amazing in that brain of yours. Love u Terry xoxo
Sorry no sixes.......xxx

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2014
    I've been working on my positiveness for a couple of a weeks now and not thinking about things like how to get my kids to love me again. Jesus will show me the way when it is time. You, my dear Mum, had a lot to do with my change in attitude and I wholeheartedly thank you for that:) Love you. T
reply by tbacha58 on 01-Apr-2014
    Never thank me T. Our connection and sharing is way passed not to understand each other. We are united because of a reason that came from above, so I believe.
    Our respect and love towards each other has become a combination of belonging to each other, because The Lord loves us, and we need each others philosophy to by pass our obstacles of each and everyday. Our honesty brought us to be linked for a reason. Love u xoxo Yet I was so happy to read that you accepted me, as a faithful friend and mum. Terry xoxo
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2014
    :) xxoo
Comment from Connie C
Excellent
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I really like the idea of weeding out your head and plucking "tainted thoughts" from your brain. Clever to use the metaphor of weeding to describe finding happiness inside you. I enjoyed reading this very much.
Connie

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2014
    Thanks so much Connie:)
Comment from Val Crisson
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Loved this free verse? Not sure what the from was, but really got the message. I would have given this a six, "but sowed seeds of happiness instead" threw me off. I feel happiness is not always realistic quest in day to day life. Contentment is what I strive for. None the less, I really felt this was a wonderful poem

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014
    I think you are right - contentment might be a better word to use than happiness. Thanks for the review and suggestion and yes it is free verse/free style.
Comment from seaglass
Excellent
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This short but profound poem. So many negative seeds are thrust into our brains, some are bound to grow. A cleaning, especially doing Lent id always helpful to me.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much for the review:)
Comment from Irish Rain
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wonderful way to spend your time, weeding should be taught in schools, less people would need help later in life, nip things in the bud! Loved this! I've done alot of weeding the last couple years, mostly family, ha ha...sad, but true, and no regrets! Blessings this evening!

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014
    Thank you for the awesome six star review!!
reply by Irish Rain on 31-Mar-2014
    very deserving and always welcome!
Comment from krys123
Excellent
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Teresa, I enjoyed me and friends of your brain as a garden.
I found this quite clever, ingenious and inventive. And it showed your creativity and resourcefulness very much. Just remember to making the garden a one without pesticides, an all organic garden. Thank you so much for sharing and posting of your work in May the Lord be with you always.
Alex

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014
    all organic for sure! Thanks Alex!
reply by krys123 on 31-Mar-2014
    Teresa, you are so welcome
reply by krys123 on 31-Mar-2014
    Teresa, you are so welcome
Comment from Kingsland
Excellent
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You're so right, sometimes the mind can get cluttered up with useless dribble. This was a well written poetic voice that has a very good message in its lines of thoughts. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this excellent piece of poetic art... John

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014
    thank you so much!
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
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Love this extended metaphor. Meditation is weed removal! So is prayer. You've expressed this well in a fine free verse with an appealing conversational tone. The only point of critique I notice is the lack of smooth enjambement between lines, which could be remedied by either using end-line punctuation or accurate caps--or also by adding line breaks instead of punctuation.

Also, one line seems to missing a verb for smooth grammar:

(is) choking out God-created beauty

Example edit with line breaks:


I looked today inside my head
I see it's time to do some cleaning

like a garden in need of weeding
undesirable vegetation
is choking out God-created beauty

I'll pluck tainted thoughts from my brain
and weed the garden of my head

sow seeds of happiness instead


I further recommend you consider adding a dash at the end of the second to last line to give a more dramatic pause than the line break(optional--just for your consideration)

and weed the garden of my head--

sow seeds of happiness instead

If you prefer not to use line breaks, that's fine, but then it might be optimal to add the other suggestions noted above.

The poem is easy to read in spite of the above, so five stars for you. however, I strongly recommend using the line breaks for smoother read and time to savor the content (breaths).

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014
    Thank you for your valued comments and suggestions.
reply by rama devi on 31-Mar-2014
    :-))