My Constant Companion
I am having a tough time with this guy20 total reviews
Comment from barleygirl
I'm wondering if your subject is "a diet" . . . if so, your author's notes seem to disqualify based on the requirement that you don't mention subject by name. But if the poem is referring to cravings or a sweet tooth, then it would be OK to have your author's note. Hmmm . . . not sure how this one goes. But your poem definitely expresses something we've all felt a time or two! Thanks for sharing.
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I'm wondering if your subject is "a diet" . . . if so, your author's notes seem to disqualify based on the requirement that you don't mention subject by name. But if the poem is referring to cravings or a sweet tooth, then it would be OK to have your author's note. Hmmm . . . not sure how this one goes. But your poem definitely expresses something we've all felt a time or two! Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
Comment from rouskin
Great companion and great future ; But trust me, things are gonna change when I'm back to feelin' skinny Well done Best of luck and be blessed
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Great companion and great future ; But trust me, things are gonna change when I'm back to feelin' skinny Well done Best of luck and be blessed
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
Comment from Dean Kuch
Ha ha, this was go-o-o-d!
A very clever little verse to highlight the rigorous, tedious task of dieting. The rhyming and flow work together very well in this piece. Your message came across (to me, at least) loud and clear, before I ever got a peek at your brief author's note.
Thankfully because of an extremely over active metabolism, I've never had to diet. But if I did, I'd keep this poem around to cheer me up when I felt as if I wasn't going to make it.
Well done, and good luck to you in the contest!
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Ha ha, this was go-o-o-d!
A very clever little verse to highlight the rigorous, tedious task of dieting. The rhyming and flow work together very well in this piece. Your message came across (to me, at least) loud and clear, before I ever got a peek at your brief author's note.
Thankfully because of an extremely over active metabolism, I've never had to diet. But if I did, I'd keep this poem around to cheer me up when I felt as if I wasn't going to make it.
Well done, and good luck to you in the contest!
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
Comment from mfowler
When I realised your conscience was your constant companion, I remembered the excruciating mental battle I have with my own little Jimminy Cricket, as I battle the bulge.
Oh come on now, just lighten up!: Isn't this agreat opener...lighten as in lose weight, lighten as in don't be so serious.
merely peeked at the pudding; : and waht aparty pooper to lead you to such exaggerations to cover up
I promise to be true to you.
I've cut things down to mini: to think you have to promise yourself not to cheat yourself
I've always lived with a conscience (especially about food) so I get this poem. It's fun has a nice rhythm, and is agreat personification. Good luck.
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When I realised your conscience was your constant companion, I remembered the excruciating mental battle I have with my own little Jimminy Cricket, as I battle the bulge.
Oh come on now, just lighten up!: Isn't this agreat opener...lighten as in lose weight, lighten as in don't be so serious.
merely peeked at the pudding; : and waht aparty pooper to lead you to such exaggerations to cover up
I promise to be true to you.
I've cut things down to mini: to think you have to promise yourself not to cheat yourself
I've always lived with a conscience (especially about food) so I get this poem. It's fun has a nice rhythm, and is agreat personification. Good luck.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
Comment from Just Pete
Very good rhyming and leaves a reader in deep thought. I may be wrong, but the only thing to spring to mind was a mirror, that ever critical observer. Best of luck in the contest.
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Very good rhyming and leaves a reader in deep thought. I may be wrong, but the only thing to spring to mind was a mirror, that ever critical observer. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
Comment from Glasstruth
Your appetite is the foe you write about as being the evil one. Evil has always had an associate of fun, temptation, and as what's desired is harmful. In this case, "FOOD" Thanks for sharing. Les
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Your appetite is the foe you write about as being the evil one. Evil has always had an associate of fun, temptation, and as what's desired is harmful. In this case, "FOOD" Thanks for sharing. Les
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
Comment from emrpoems
Good personification of Mr. Diet.
quatrains with abcb rhyming scheme
Alliteration--peeked / pudding, can /chose /cookie,
with /when, trust / things
good use of enjambment
Superb presentation of picture and poem
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Good personification of Mr. Diet.
quatrains with abcb rhyming scheme
Alliteration--peeked / pudding, can /chose /cookie,
with /when, trust / things
good use of enjambment
Superb presentation of picture and poem
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
Comment from Deniz22
LOL You nailed the dieters real goal with these lines:But trust me, things are gonna change when I'm back to feelin' skinny! Great job!
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LOL You nailed the dieters real goal with these lines:But trust me, things are gonna change when I'm back to feelin' skinny! Great job!
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
Comment from abbasjoy
Love this poem. The personification is so natural, it does sound as though you are dining with someone.
The rhyming and meter are very well done, and push the stanzas along nicely.
Great job, and perfect picture to match.
I'm with you;' I hate dieting.
Well done!
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Love this poem. The personification is so natural, it does sound as though you are dining with someone.
The rhyming and meter are very well done, and push the stanzas along nicely.
Great job, and perfect picture to match.
I'm with you;' I hate dieting.
Well done!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
Comment from queenv
Happy to say, you got my attention when I saw the picture of the food. This is well written and the picture is befitting of the message in the poem.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Happy to say, you got my attention when I saw the picture of the food. This is well written and the picture is befitting of the message in the poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014