Comment from IndianaIrish

Excellent

Sandra, I think this is wonderful in story format. I love the tale of friendship and how teamwork makes a difficult project easier. I'd love to read it with the illustrations. Best wishes.
Smiles,
Karyn : )

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Thank you so much, Karyn. I am sorting out the illustrations now, I am glad you liked the story, I hope the children do, too! :) Sandra

Comment from reconciled

Excellent

hmm even beavers compete for the gold...amazing...hi Sandra...-smile- delightful read of the academy awards of dam building. love you michael

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Hi Michael, thank you so much for reading this story, I hope you had a brilliant Christmas, and I wish you the best of everything in this new year, my dear friend. :) Sandra

Comment from Aussie

Excellent

Bodger the beaver, cute name. I think that I remember reading the poem but this story is much more interesting - bringing in all the characters by name and setting the scene for the competition to build the best dam. I think you need a villain to make it more interesting - how about Fredrick the Fox? For the sake of children it would be necessary to name the characters in your lines e.g. Reggie the rat - not necessary for the oldies. Bodger presents as a shy, retiring, lonely beaver. I guess you explained what a vole was. How about Fredrick the fox (more known.) The plot changes to the animals helping Bodger, thus kindly sentiments unfold. Now, he had a backup team to help him build. I liked this simple tale for children - vole would be known in UK not so in US. Just a thought.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Hi Kay, thank you for reading this one. I brought in Whiffy the weasel in one of my stories, he was pinching their harvest from the shed, and the gang set out to catch him. He became a good weasel in another story and then they were all friends. I like the idea of Freddie the fox, I can bring him into another story, I am sending you an e-mail in reply to the one you sent me while I was asleep! :) Sandra

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

Shouldn't dam be spelled with an "N"? (Just kidding! Hahaha) I'm so dam far behind. LOL.

You amaze me, my friend. You are the kind of children's writer I want to grow up to be. (I've dabbled only.) I LOVE this story!!!

Just a couple of tiny edits:

1) "...and I'm not clever at all(,)" (he) finished sadly. << No capital, comma inside quotation marks, not period.

2) "...no holes for the water to leak (through)." << typo; you missed the 'r'

3) This one is not an actual error, but possibly a plot flaw? I don't know if you intentionally have Bodger not liking fish, but I've grown up with beaver stealing my fish (right off my line even) when I go fishing. LOL. They LOVE fish, as far as I know...when I was about thirteen, there was a lake I used to bike to, and one day the beaver were so aggressive, they actually scared me off my fishing trip that day! LOL.

Generally, my punctuation is just passing grade, not really the best, so I can't offer too much help in that regard, but I am thinking you have some commas where there should be semi-colons. As I say, though, I'm not really great at punctuation myself, so other reviewers will have to offer assistance. Sorry! But there are many who ARE good - Nor 84, Rama, Reachingforthestaars, vkmack to name a few.

Now Sandra, I have to tell you, I think this is fabulous. It has more than one wonderful moral ('many hands make light work' << friends are good, (it's not nice to call people names and make fun of them) << and you might end up with egg all over your face! LOL and (anything worth doing is worth doing well) << always try your best.

The pacing is perfect, the characters charming and delightful, as well as very much the way kids behave (including the other beavers) - all in all, I think you have a winner here. I wish I had a six for it!

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014

Thank you so very much for your wonderful review, Dawn, and the help. I have changed those errors, the spell check never picks that type up. I will have to change that bit about the fish. Its funny, I looked it up before I put it down, and it said beaver were crunchy green shrub eaters and didn't like fish. Obviously they were wrong. I might send them a note about that. I hate working out the semi-colons v commas, and if Brooke reads it she will be mad at me, I did her spag class!! Sonali always picks every line to pieces for me, she is an angel! It must be wonderful to be able to write confidently, knowing your grammar is right. Thank you again, Dawn, you are such a brilliant friend. xsx sandra

reply by Dawn Munro on 03-Jan-2014

Sigh - yes, it must be wonderful!

Now you have me worried about beaver and fish, though - I'm going to check online too now - don't do anything yet - I'll be right back, okay?

reply by Dawn Munro on 03-Jan-2014

CHANGE NOTHING!!! You were right! They are visible, while there's another little critter who is RARELY seen who steals fish (it's like a mink, but not a mink - can't remember its name) I'll BET they were the guilty ones all along! The beavers were maybe warning me off because they had young!!! I'm SO SORRY, Sandra. I almost 'steered you wrong'!

reply by Dawn Munro on 03-Jan-2014

So much for your 'brilliant' friend! Please answer right away so I now you aren't making a change? I feel so badly!

Comment from goompa

Excellent

My honest opinion is that you've written a lovely children's story with good characterization and a fine message. I am certain my grandchildren will love it. Great job!

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014

Thank you so much, Goompa, it is always nerve wracking putting these on here. I do appreciate you reading the story. Thank you for your kind review. xsx Sandra

Comment from in777wr#

Excellent

What a great end to this story. Dodger finally won the contest. It was great how Bodger was friendless, but ended with friends who cared enough to help him. I completely enjoyed this story.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014

Thank you so very much for taking the time to read my story, your review is lovely! xsx Sandra

reply by in777wr# on 03-Jan-2014

You're welcome.

Comment from Gungalo

Excellent

I liked it girl. It did seem easier to read in the other format but that is just me. What does the rest of your readers think?

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 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014

So far, they have liked it. I haven't had enough to judge yet, only just put it on, but I don't think many are here now that read my Hedgerow Capers, in rhyme. I do enjoy rhyme best, but had been asked to try it this way. Thank you so much for taking the time to read it, Gungalo. I really appreciate your review. xsx sandra

reply by Gungalo on 03-Jan-2014

Smiling at you girl.

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

One little nit I saw.
no water was going to get passed (past) this dam!
This is an excellent story either way Sandra. I think a child would love either one. If you would rather write this format I say go for it. Your story still shines. LOL xsx Nancy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014

I've scratched that nit, Nancy! LOL, thank you for that. I am keeping both versions, but was asked to write it this way as well. Just have to wait and see which one is the most popular with children. Thank you my dear friend for taking the time to read it, and for the virtual 6! :) xsx Sandra

reply by nancy_e_davis on 03-Jan-2014

I like them both but I am not a child. LOL