The Little Dog That Wouldn't Let Go
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Putting the Cat Amongst the er...."Subtitle: God Never Lets Go!
27 total reviews
Comment from Thal1959
Oh, boy... Geoff! You are really working me for my member dollar reward! The problem is that I can't ever be certain if something you have written is proper in the Australian school of composition. But here are some things my American eye noticed:
"It seems they had met one of our harmless "under house residents. (, not .)" namely one of the many Blue Tongue Lizards, whom (who not whom, or better yet, "which" since these lizards are not people.) had lived under the back flat for years. Even many, many of them prior to the new tenants' ('s not s') residence above them. (This last sentence is ambiguous and confusing. so I am not sure what is being said with "even many, many of them..." I can only guess what you are trying to say.) "These people were frightened of him or her." (Again, these are not people and should not be described by gender. Rather, it could be rendered as "These people were frightened of them.")
"I later even, brought Sox out to Werrington with me..." Again, I don't know if this is colloquial Australian English, but the word "even' is superfluous and makes the phrase clumsy. Consider changing it to, "Later, I brought Sox out to Werrington with me..."
College was four half(-)days(half-days should be hyphened and delete comma after "days") a week(add space before dash) - so that left me weekday afternoons and Saturdays for work. I have always been grateful to Bob - the man who gave me the opportunity to teach at his studio. It was to assist me, later on, to work, as my own boss, full-time, for more than 4 years." (This last sentence has too many commas in it. This occurs frequently in your writing. The comma after "work" should be dropped. You could even remove the commas before and after "full-time" though it is not absolutely necessary.)
"...but when it came to the crunch, I was left 'holding the baby', so to speak! They all backed out on our agreement - so Bob said I either had to put up with the current pay or go. I must have been pretty confident or wanted to 'save face', as the Chinese people say - so...I went! (Use double quote marks, not single quote marks, which are used only when a character is speaking dialogue in double quote marks, and then quotes another person or character's exact words. For general expressions, use double quote marks.)
This expanded later to travelling out on Friday afternoons, staying with the Simpson family, in Mulgoa, nicknamed "Outer Mongolia*" by one of our, now, Missionaries - who I helped with the Youth group back then... (who incidentally also lived at "*O-M"); ...until after the AM and PM church services, on Sunday. ( The use of an asterisk in reference to "Outer Mongolia" is used if there is a footnote below that explains the comment. But there is no such footnote because it is not necessary. Even an American like myself can understand the word play between "Mulgoa" and "Mongolia." The word "now" and the commas that attend it, are both unnecessary, as is the remark in parenthesis. Thus, this highly jumbled line would be better rendered in simpler terms like, "This expanded later to travelling out on Friday afternoons, staying with the Simpson family, in Mulgoa, nicknamed "Outer Mongolia," by one of our Missionaries - who I helped with the Youth group back then, until after the AM and PM church services on Sunday.")
Oh boy! Did I get myself into trouble with Bob, then? (This is a statement, not a true question. Should be, "Oh boy, did I get myself into trouble with Bob, then!" You could even drop the last comma and the word "then.")
I think Bob still liked me - because after giving up teaching for him, he agreed to me being an 'agent' (again, use double quotes) for the store and even paid for business cards for me - in my "newly Registered" 'business name "Moore Music Services" with his name on the bottom for referral of prospective buyers. (Also, drop the single quote before 'business.)
Whew!
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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Oh, boy... Geoff! You are really working me for my member dollar reward! The problem is that I can't ever be certain if something you have written is proper in the Australian school of composition. But here are some things my American eye noticed:
"It seems they had met one of our harmless "under house residents. (, not .)" namely one of the many Blue Tongue Lizards, whom (who not whom, or better yet, "which" since these lizards are not people.) had lived under the back flat for years. Even many, many of them prior to the new tenants' ('s not s') residence above them. (This last sentence is ambiguous and confusing. so I am not sure what is being said with "even many, many of them..." I can only guess what you are trying to say.) "These people were frightened of him or her." (Again, these are not people and should not be described by gender. Rather, it could be rendered as "These people were frightened of them.")
"I later even, brought Sox out to Werrington with me..." Again, I don't know if this is colloquial Australian English, but the word "even' is superfluous and makes the phrase clumsy. Consider changing it to, "Later, I brought Sox out to Werrington with me..."
College was four half(-)days(half-days should be hyphened and delete comma after "days") a week(add space before dash) - so that left me weekday afternoons and Saturdays for work. I have always been grateful to Bob - the man who gave me the opportunity to teach at his studio. It was to assist me, later on, to work, as my own boss, full-time, for more than 4 years." (This last sentence has too many commas in it. This occurs frequently in your writing. The comma after "work" should be dropped. You could even remove the commas before and after "full-time" though it is not absolutely necessary.)
"...but when it came to the crunch, I was left 'holding the baby', so to speak! They all backed out on our agreement - so Bob said I either had to put up with the current pay or go. I must have been pretty confident or wanted to 'save face', as the Chinese people say - so...I went! (Use double quote marks, not single quote marks, which are used only when a character is speaking dialogue in double quote marks, and then quotes another person or character's exact words. For general expressions, use double quote marks.)
This expanded later to travelling out on Friday afternoons, staying with the Simpson family, in Mulgoa, nicknamed "Outer Mongolia*" by one of our, now, Missionaries - who I helped with the Youth group back then... (who incidentally also lived at "*O-M"); ...until after the AM and PM church services, on Sunday. ( The use of an asterisk in reference to "Outer Mongolia" is used if there is a footnote below that explains the comment. But there is no such footnote because it is not necessary. Even an American like myself can understand the word play between "Mulgoa" and "Mongolia." The word "now" and the commas that attend it, are both unnecessary, as is the remark in parenthesis. Thus, this highly jumbled line would be better rendered in simpler terms like, "This expanded later to travelling out on Friday afternoons, staying with the Simpson family, in Mulgoa, nicknamed "Outer Mongolia," by one of our Missionaries - who I helped with the Youth group back then, until after the AM and PM church services on Sunday.")
Oh boy! Did I get myself into trouble with Bob, then? (This is a statement, not a true question. Should be, "Oh boy, did I get myself into trouble with Bob, then!" You could even drop the last comma and the word "then.")
I think Bob still liked me - because after giving up teaching for him, he agreed to me being an 'agent' (again, use double quotes) for the store and even paid for business cards for me - in my "newly Registered" 'business name "Moore Music Services" with his name on the bottom for referral of prospective buyers. (Also, drop the single quote before 'business.)
Whew!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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Hey mate. How can I thank you enough for all the time you put into fixing up my terrible mess. I hope you will like what I have done even possibly made some brief additions. Thanks, heaps. Another reviewer who is more detailed like you is, unfortunately taking a 'sabbatical' from FS atm...I know she would have probably done exactly what you have, too. Much appreciate all your hard work.
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It's my pleasure, Geoff... always happy to correct an Aussie's sloppy English - hehehe.
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Hey mate, I forget where you are from in America....but you know American English is a lot worse in some places hehe.
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I currently live in a suburb of the city of Chicago. I am taking care of my 88 year old mother. Whenever she passes, I plan to move to a farming community in Indiana. Actually, most places in America employ the same atrocious English, only with a different accent at times.
It has been a challenge discussing English and grammar, as well as writing styles and tastes, as they differ between England, America, and Australia. But it has been informative, too.
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Glad you found it worthwhile. We have our Dialects between states here as you have. In our Western State they sound a lot like Kiwis (from New Zealand...I have suggested all the kiwi's wanted to go as fare West of their country when they emigrate...or they can just come and visit...no Visa's required...so their accent is infused into WA's accent (Not Washington ok) ...Flattening of all i's e's and o's I made up a saying....you have heard that one about someone giving you the 's--ts"....well you also may know the saying "With friends Like you who needs enemies?" Do that in Kiwi it goes " With friends like you who needs enema's...in other words you give me the sh--'s I should write something about this. I thi k I might have in my Geoffossary at the end of my book.
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The Kiwi may have a sort of prescient gift... a lot of people these days could use an enema!
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haha good one.Our Southern State (Victoria) talk like they have something up their nose...I think same as is it Ohio? Queensland has a real Aussie drawl Slow drawn out deep voices. Tasmania our Southern Island State we call "Little England" have a pommie or English accent. South Australia flatten all their o's...the germans get the credit for colonising South Australia that is why there is lot of wine growing down there. New South Wales...the first State...well our accent is pretty normal hehe. Actually did you know if things had been diffrent the capital and the first State would have been in the West not the East as we are...as the Dutch found our West Coast long before the East coast was discovered by the English Captain James Cook.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A good continuation. You weave an interesting tale about your life. One of the things I like about writing is it does so much for the mind. You remember things you thought you had forgotten.
Have you read my story, More Snippets? I could use one more review.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2017
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A good continuation. You weave an interesting tale about your life. One of the things I like about writing is it does so much for the mind. You remember things you thought you had forgotten.
Have you read my story, More Snippets? I could use one more review.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2017
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Thanks Thomas will get to it. Thanks for coming through.
Comment from Teri7
This was a very interesting and neat story you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with all your pictures and wording. That cat was beautiful. I always wanted to learn to play the organ. I have messed with the one at church, but I just play the piano. Very good story! Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2017
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This was a very interesting and neat story you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with all your pictures and wording. That cat was beautiful. I always wanted to learn to play the organ. I have messed with the one at church, but I just play the piano. Very good story! Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 28-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2017
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I thought I responded to this thanks again Sis. Cats coming later.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Cute kitty. I love the way he only wanted the amount of attention he wanted, then backed you off with a nip.
I like the lizards and how they scared the new neighbors. Good thing you stood up for them!
You've had a lot of interesting experiences. Thanks for sharing,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2017
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Cute kitty. I love the way he only wanted the amount of attention he wanted, then backed you off with a nip.
I like the lizards and how they scared the new neighbors. Good thing you stood up for them!
You've had a lot of interesting experiences. Thanks for sharing,
Rhonda
Comment Written 28-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2017
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Thanks Sis I was just complaining to Tom that I am not getting the coverage I feel is fair with the Revive Certificate from my Fans. I did say I realize the Fans have to be on the site during the time the awfully expensive Revive Certificate is current. Appreciate your lovely review. Gonna get some these cat pics on Fb as promised, later. More cat stories coming. I talked about old Tim the black Tom cat that we had when I was little back in the earlier chapters. Not sure if you saw that.
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Thanks Sis I was just complaining to Tom that I am not getting the coverage I feel is fair with the Revive Certificate from my Fans. I did say I realize the Fans have to be on the site during the time the awfully expensive Revive Certificate is current. Appreciate your lovely review. Gonna get some these cat pics on Fb as promised, later. More cat stories coming. I talked about old Tim the black Tom cat that we had when I was little back in the earlier chapters. Not sure if you saw that.
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Thanks Sis I was just complaining to Tom that I am not getting the coverage I feel is fair with the Revive Certificate from my Fans. I did say I realize the Fans have to be on the site during the time the awfully expensive Revive Certificate is current. Appreciate your lovely review. Gonna get some these cat pics on Fb as promised, later. More cat stories coming. I talked about old Tim the black Tom cat that we had when I was little back in the earlier chapters. Not sure if you saw that.
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I do think I remember the black Tom cat. I love cats!
I've never tried to revive anything before, so had no idea on the costs. I think I've just now been on here long enough to do that, though I'd have to go check.
Thanks for resharing!
Rhonda
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Hi Sis 2 years and over since first publication but it is nearly $US10 per chapter. Good idea if you can afford it...much harder from my end if I was PAYING. That is why I try and get the "funny money" up through multi reviewing.
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I understand that!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, sankey, I enjoyed reading this chapter and the experiences that helped prepare you for your own business venture. Sox sounds like he was a beautiful cat
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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this is an excellent write, sankey, I enjoyed reading this chapter and the experiences that helped prepare you for your own business venture. Sox sounds like he was a beautiful cat
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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He was ok...to a certain extent. Not as affectionate as Pinny but we managed. Don't know where he went in the end I fear it was my fault whatever happened. Thanks Sis for coming by.We are on a big roll with the promotions atm.
Comment from Sam Mendonca
This is a very interesting chapter.
You seem to have lived a very eventful life and the waay you took care of situations was very honorable.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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This is a very interesting chapter.
You seem to have lived a very eventful life and the waay you took care of situations was very honorable.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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Hi Sam not sure we have met before. I was getti8ng a bit absorbed in Reading and reviewing stuff but I knew I needed to get back to my writing. Please look through as I have finally got the chapters in the8ir correct sequence (order) I don't know if it is true but for me I found I had to have written most of my book as it came to me then sort the chapters sequentially, now I am almost done. Only one more chapter to go now I think. Hope you will have a look through some of the old stuff. I will put some 'carrots' hehe on the other chapters for new folks to have encouragement to read. Again thanks for your very kind review. Look for your stuff later after I give my self a bit more writing or writer's block to out do. HEHE!
Comment from Petriesan
the Dems and Republicans have switched inthe USA Wlliam Jennings Bryant ( in the 1920's) was the start of the change to liberal for Democrats. The last of the switch may have been when the "Dixiecrats" ( Southern democrats left for the Republican Party after the Civil Rights Act was passed.
nice job of telling us your history in politics.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2013
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the Dems and Republicans have switched inthe USA Wlliam Jennings Bryant ( in the 1920's) was the start of the change to liberal for Democrats. The last of the switch may have been when the "Dixiecrats" ( Southern democrats left for the Republican Party after the Civil Rights Act was passed.
nice job of telling us your history in politics.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2013
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Thanks for the review and update on Politics Uncle Sam styler. Appreciated. I am interested in history for sure.
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This is a new edit and reorgnize plus a new chapter about the Dead Dawg has been added. Chapters also now more in sequence.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is a nice chapter in the life of the author. This is very nostalgic, and I like that. Sometimes, the lives of ordinary people can make very extra-ordinary reading.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2013
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This is a nice chapter in the life of the author. This is very nostalgic, and I like that. Sometimes, the lives of ordinary people can make very extra-ordinary reading.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2013
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Thanks friend. Some have thought it was a bit unusual to talk about pets in a book but I was glad to have this wander back.
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Good news.
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This is a new edit and reorgnize plus a new chapter about the Dead Dawg has been added. Chapters also now more in sequence.
Comment from BethShelby
Another one I read before. It always nice to read again.
The political parties are a bit confusing on this side of the pond as well. Almost all Southerners at one time were Democrats and now almost all are republicans. The parties are so different as they are both pretty corrupt and both or entirely unable to compromise on anything in my opinion. I don't think politics has a place for Christians although if pretending Christianity works for political reasons they will certainly exploit that. I think it is you guys who drive on the wrong side of the road. Didn't automobiles first start on our side. LOL I just had major surgery. Gall Bladder removal so I don't feel like writing and barely like reading so please take what I say with a grain of salt. (I'm not sure you use that expression.)
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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Another one I read before. It always nice to read again.
The political parties are a bit confusing on this side of the pond as well. Almost all Southerners at one time were Democrats and now almost all are republicans. The parties are so different as they are both pretty corrupt and both or entirely unable to compromise on anything in my opinion. I don't think politics has a place for Christians although if pretending Christianity works for political reasons they will certainly exploit that. I think it is you guys who drive on the wrong side of the road. Didn't automobiles first start on our side. LOL I just had major surgery. Gall Bladder removal so I don't feel like writing and barely like reading so please take what I say with a grain of salt. (I'm not sure you use that expression.)
Comment Written 09-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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Hey all good as my friend says. SHe has just had her first child a dear little boy named him Reuben (eldest son of Jacob (Israel) what!) I see we agree on a lot opf things. Fact is at one time Democrap was LEFT and Republican was RIGHT translate that to labor Left and Liberal Right down under...but these days it is some kind of Melting pot and they are all in the mi8ddle and not much different! For example our new Liberal(conservative) PM is under a lot of pressure to agree to Same Sex marriage and there was a time you would never ever have been worried a conservative Leader would even think that way! (His sister is a Lesbian and his daughters support their Aunty and her 'partner'Grrrr) But you still drive on the wrong sie of the road hehe hope you are better soon. I don't know why any Americans still have Gall bladders all the fried chicken you guys eat. I need to add about my Gall stones to my medical too thanks for the reminder...can't have gall bladder op have had to behave. Sorry for raving.
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This is a new edit and reorgnize plus a new chapter about the Dead Dawg has been added. Chapters also now more in sequence.
Comment from B. Diehl
I like this a lot; it's an easy-read, which I can almost always enjoy. Also, it's meaningful! Conveying meaning with simple language is a lot harder than it sounds, so I salute you. Please check out my work sometime. :) Take care.
P.S. Enjoy the five stars!
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2013
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I like this a lot; it's an easy-read, which I can almost always enjoy. Also, it's meaningful! Conveying meaning with simple language is a lot harder than it sounds, so I salute you. Please check out my work sometime. :) Take care.
P.S. Enjoy the five stars!
Comment Written 08-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2013
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Thanks did I read something of yours recently Thanks for the review.
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Hi think I read some of your stuff now
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This is a new edit and reorgnize plus a new chapter about the Dead Dawg has been added. Chapters also now more in sequence.