<3 " thoughtscapes" by Noni <3
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Love"A book of poetry, quotes and short stories
26 total reviews
Comment from Oatmeal
AnnieGale,
Well chosen words, colorful arrangement and wonderfully decorated thoughts. Your descriptive words were very good for explaining your ideas and your feelings.
There was no SPAG, no typos, no room for improvement.
Your feelings are very understandable and expressed through the poem.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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AnnieGale,
Well chosen words, colorful arrangement and wonderfully decorated thoughts. Your descriptive words were very good for explaining your ideas and your feelings.
There was no SPAG, no typos, no room for improvement.
Your feelings are very understandable and expressed through the poem.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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Thank you, you are too kind with your words, I do appreciate them so much though!!! :)
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AG,
You are very welcome.
Love you,
Camille
Comment from L.A.Matthies
Your words have a very graceful and passionate beauty to them.
it's beating embrace till the end of time
Now that is truly Lovely ...nice job!
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Your words have a very graceful and passionate beauty to them.
it's beating embrace till the end of time
Now that is truly Lovely ...nice job!
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Thank you very much, you are very kind..
Comment from michaelcahill
a very nice expression of love with depth and very strong devotion. very female feeling. it sounds natural coming from you. it is something a man has to strive for a little harder I think. just thinking out loud! the last stanza is very strong and has a sense of unqualified commitment. I believe this. mikey
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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a very nice expression of love with depth and very strong devotion. very female feeling. it sounds natural coming from you. it is something a man has to strive for a little harder I think. just thinking out loud! the last stanza is very strong and has a sense of unqualified commitment. I believe this. mikey
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Thank you, It is true that once he found his way to the heart, he was there to stay.... :)
Comment from Smoothiecool
love your choice of picture the sand and ocean is a great place to be when in love
your chosen words allow the reader into your thoughts the images lets one feel and se this
flows well easy read
good luck
cheers SC
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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love your choice of picture the sand and ocean is a great place to be when in love
your chosen words allow the reader into your thoughts the images lets one feel and se this
flows well easy read
good luck
cheers SC
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Thank you very much :)
Comment from Alena Smith
In my arms you may cling tight and never let go to the
surrounding heat and passion that you feel there...
beautiful description in such soft and tender words. you portrayed a wonderful picture of what it feels like when you are in love.
great work!
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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In my arms you may cling tight and never let go to the
surrounding heat and passion that you feel there...
beautiful description in such soft and tender words. you portrayed a wonderful picture of what it feels like when you are in love.
great work!
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Thank you Alena, I appreciate that very much. Happy December :)
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yay December. Christmas is almost here. I cant believe it
Comment from adewpearl
the depths is bottomless - are bottomless
good alliterative grouping in depths/deep/drown
soulful expression of intense love and passion
good sensory and sensual appeal
Brooke
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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the depths is bottomless - are bottomless
good alliterative grouping in depths/deep/drown
soulful expression of intense love and passion
good sensory and sensual appeal
Brooke
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Thank you so much for your kind words...I did go back and change the word you so kindly mentioned...I appreciate your input and I
thank you for your rating!! :)
Comment from cottoncandy11
Hello,
How true love and not having love inspires us to write from the heart, great read. I look forward to reading more of your poems.
Regards, Cottoncandy11
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Hello,
How true love and not having love inspires us to write from the heart, great read. I look forward to reading more of your poems.
Regards, Cottoncandy11
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Thank you so much :) I appreciate that very much!!
Comment from ButterflyHana
Lovely love poem, a piece of poetry that speaks towards the emotions of a lovers heart. Great colour scheme and lovely picture which suits the poem very well.
Thanks for sharing,
BHana.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Lovely love poem, a piece of poetry that speaks towards the emotions of a lovers heart. Great colour scheme and lovely picture which suits the poem very well.
Thanks for sharing,
BHana.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Thank you for your thoughtful comments, much appreciated!!
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Welcome :)
Comment from evrenios
Lovely metaphors in a passionate love poem. Only one sentence doesn't quite work: the third stanza. It is awkward to say "never let go to the surrounding heat and passion .... I think you could find a more discriptive term than heat which is vague and unspecific. Also it implies that your love will never give in to you.
I also question the last sentence: "and only through my heart may you stay and live ....." It is vague. You have some great ideas here, butI would recommend that you aim to speak of this passion in more specific terms rather than generalities. That means use words that have sharp images rather than the overworked images of bottomless, sweetness, beauty. If you an change those few words, you will have a gem! This has a lot of promise - just needs polishing as any beautiful diamond does.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Lovely metaphors in a passionate love poem. Only one sentence doesn't quite work: the third stanza. It is awkward to say "never let go to the surrounding heat and passion .... I think you could find a more discriptive term than heat which is vague and unspecific. Also it implies that your love will never give in to you.
I also question the last sentence: "and only through my heart may you stay and live ....." It is vague. You have some great ideas here, butI would recommend that you aim to speak of this passion in more specific terms rather than generalities. That means use words that have sharp images rather than the overworked images of bottomless, sweetness, beauty. If you an change those few words, you will have a gem! This has a lot of promise - just needs polishing as any beautiful diamond does.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Thank you for you input...
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very welll written, anniegale, you did an excellent job writing this prose poem about the embrace of love that beats in your heart. one error--should be its beating embrace instead of it's beating embrace
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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this is very welll written, anniegale, you did an excellent job writing this prose poem about the embrace of love that beats in your heart. one error--should be its beating embrace instead of it's beating embrace
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Thank you very much, I did take your suggestion and corrected that error...I appreciate you taking the time to point that out and for you reading!!