Tiny Terrors
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Bug Problem"A collection of short horror fiction
40 total reviews
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Dean
I read and voted, then bolted ... no time for a review. So back to congratulate you! You won by a landslide. I love the "multiple bulbous eyes", "silent scream","The scritch-scratching of their disgusting, creepy-crawly legs," Eeeeewe ... and so pleased I don't have a basement. Perfect presentation.
Did you say "BIG BUGS!" Yikes!
I enjoyed the bug info in your AN and yes it does seem a crying shame so much spent on termites while so many humans starve to death. Ludicrous!
Termites .. a worldwide bug problem. I have heard that scritch-scratching ... not in my own houses thank heavens. Yes, we feel the bite in Australia.
Great work. Hugs - Lovinia xoxox
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2013
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Hi Dean
I read and voted, then bolted ... no time for a review. So back to congratulate you! You won by a landslide. I love the "multiple bulbous eyes", "silent scream","The scritch-scratching of their disgusting, creepy-crawly legs," Eeeeewe ... and so pleased I don't have a basement. Perfect presentation.
Did you say "BIG BUGS!" Yikes!
I enjoyed the bug info in your AN and yes it does seem a crying shame so much spent on termites while so many humans starve to death. Ludicrous!
Termites .. a worldwide bug problem. I have heard that scritch-scratching ... not in my own houses thank heavens. Yes, we feel the bite in Australia.
Great work. Hugs - Lovinia xoxox
Comment Written 20-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2013
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Thanks so much for checking back in with me on this, Lovinia. Much appreciated!
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Hi Dean
You're welcome....... I'm looking up a recipe for Termite Fritters .... though I'm not sure your termites would fit in my frying pan. L xoxoxoxo
Comment from victor 66
I'm not sure I have much to say, outside of, outstanding story. If there are grammatical errors, I couldn't find. Congratulations on winning the horror contest.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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I'm not sure I have much to say, outside of, outstanding story. If there are grammatical errors, I couldn't find. Congratulations on winning the horror contest.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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Thank you, victor66. What you did say, I appreciate, very much. But, even more so, I'm very glad that you read it.
Thanks, again.
Comment from Gungalo
Congratulations Dean on taking first prize with this write. I'd say they did have a very big bug problem indeed. LOL and it took care of itself.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2013
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Congratulations Dean on taking first prize with this write. I'd say they did have a very big bug problem indeed. LOL and it took care of itself.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2013
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Thanks very much, Gungalo. I really appreciate this!
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Smile Dean.
Comment from Dawn Munro
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! EEEEEEEKKKKKK! Oh man, would you cut that out? Dean, this is fabulous! I'm not the least bit surprised this won the prompt. What a terrific flash! I just LOVED it. A full story with no wasted words (and one HUGE bug). LOL
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! EEEEEEEKKKKKK! Oh man, would you cut that out? Dean, this is fabulous! I'm not the least bit surprised this won the prompt. What a terrific flash! I just LOVED it. A full story with no wasted words (and one HUGE bug). LOL
Comment Written 19-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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Ha ha, thanks so much, Dawn. I hope the narrative didn't (wait for it...) BUG you too much. Bwa ha haaaa!
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HAHAHAHAHA! More, please. :)
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I'm so bad, LOL...
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Not nearly as bad as that really GROSS bug! HAHAHAHA. Seriously - go write, right now! MORE>like this one! :)
Comment from mfowler
I enjoyed how you structured this flash. You engaged immediately and brought me through a predictable but not clear path to extermination. Your closing speech to his wife gives a fine ironic sting in the tale of your narrative.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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I enjoyed how you structured this flash. You engaged immediately and brought me through a predictable but not clear path to extermination. Your closing speech to his wife gives a fine ironic sting in the tale of your narrative.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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Thank you, mfowler. Your comments are really appreciated!
Comment from Jackarrie
This is a very well written story, the dialogue between husband and wife is so real. The surprise ending was certainly a bug problem with HORROR
Well done and good luck in the contest. Mary
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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This is a very well written story, the dialogue between husband and wife is so real. The surprise ending was certainly a bug problem with HORROR
Well done and good luck in the contest. Mary
Comment Written 19-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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Thanks for taking the time to read & review this for me, Mary. I appreciate your fantastic comments!
Comment from ravenblack
A very big bug problem- very big indeed. I know this is flash fiction, but I really don't think Ronnie' s dying words would be the author's punchline. But that is okay. Because it is s really good punchline.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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A very big bug problem- very big indeed. I know this is flash fiction, but I really don't think Ronnie' s dying words would be the author's punchline. But that is okay. Because it is s really good punchline.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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Thanks, ravenblack. Just trying to get a few key elements into the story. For flash, as you so very well know, you gotta take it and run with it. You have so few words in which to do so.
Comment from w.j.debi
A really big termite problem, indeed. That must be the granddaddy of all termites down there in the basement. It doesn't appear that the can of Raid will be of any use at all.
This is very creative and has both horror and humor. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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A really big termite problem, indeed. That must be the granddaddy of all termites down there in the basement. It doesn't appear that the can of Raid will be of any use at all.
This is very creative and has both horror and humor. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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Thank you, w.j.debi. I am very grateful for your review, and I really appreciate the kind comments.
Comment from lancellot
Yeah, I'll say he's got two big problems, and the bug has just solved his dinner problem. A good short tale, about biting off more than you can chew. You are the master of horror.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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Yeah, I'll say he's got two big problems, and the bug has just solved his dinner problem. A good short tale, about biting off more than you can chew. You are the master of horror.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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Hah, thanks, Lance. Great comments, my friend! I appreciate the read and review.
Comment from Twilightspire
Wow. I write in the basement, as a matter of fact, the stairwell you used in this story looks oddly like my staircase. Great. Now you just made it so I'll never get down to the basement and writing, ever again. I hope you are happy with yourself. :P
This is perfect as flash fiction. Quick and fun, but still a good, creative full story. I love the smooth dialogue and how the story seemed like it was so much more, even though it is a short FF. Excellent job, my friend. Good luck with the contest.
-T.J.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2013
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Wow. I write in the basement, as a matter of fact, the stairwell you used in this story looks oddly like my staircase. Great. Now you just made it so I'll never get down to the basement and writing, ever again. I hope you are happy with yourself. :P
This is perfect as flash fiction. Quick and fun, but still a good, creative full story. I love the smooth dialogue and how the story seemed like it was so much more, even though it is a short FF. Excellent job, my friend. Good luck with the contest.
-T.J.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2013
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Thanks, T.J., I'm really glad you liked it, at least. I had one reviewer tell me recently that it was a bit too short. Huh? I believe I even put beneath the title that it is a 100-200 word flash fiction piece. I guess even that wasn't enough. Have mercy, people! (LOL)
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LMAO! Some people, huh?