Free Verse Collection 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Raining In the Dark"selections for seal submission
27 total reviews
Comment from tbacha58
I may not have her.
The darkness may not have the sun;
and she is indeed that.
Mike, what a profound poem. Reality is sad most of the time, the way you expressed your thoughts in writing this poem, made me hunger to read more and more. Very very well penned Mike. Hugs Terry
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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I may not have her.
The darkness may not have the sun;
and she is indeed that.
Mike, what a profound poem. Reality is sad most of the time, the way you expressed your thoughts in writing this poem, made me hunger to read more and more. Very very well penned Mike. Hugs Terry
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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what lovely words to hear. it is so encouraging to read this wonderful and complimentary review. makes me want to write! thank you kindly, mikey
Comment from krys123
Thank you Michael for sharing this powerful poem with your fans, myself and other readers/writers. The poem was very powerful and wieldy and possesses the qualities of having a manifesting the knowledge, skill and experience needed for the success in a particular field like poultry. I found a rhythm to be well enough for me to easily read your poem.
You have a good one and God bless.
AK.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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Thank you Michael for sharing this powerful poem with your fans, myself and other readers/writers. The poem was very powerful and wieldy and possesses the qualities of having a manifesting the knowledge, skill and experience needed for the success in a particular field like poultry. I found a rhythm to be well enough for me to easily read your poem.
You have a good one and God bless.
AK.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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such wonderful insights and comments. so very much appreciated. thank you most kindly, mike
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You are so welcome Mike good poem
Comment from TAB_that's me
This is very deep and thought provoking Mike. I feel the sadness and loneliness with which this was written. I often feel the same things you feel and express them in my poems. I assume the she you talk about is comfort and peace of mind. I hope you find it soon.
~Teresa~
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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This is very deep and thought provoking Mike. I feel the sadness and loneliness with which this was written. I often feel the same things you feel and express them in my poems. I assume the she you talk about is comfort and peace of mind. I hope you find it soon.
~Teresa~
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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Very excellent comments and praise. so wonderful to hear indeed. yes, I do sense a similarity in much of our themes. must be our shared genius!! thank you kindly, mikey
Comment from nancyjam
I loved reading this heartfelt free verse.
Beautiful imagery throughout conveying strong emotion.
There are times when being alone with our thoughts is
the only answer...
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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I loved reading this heartfelt free verse.
Beautiful imagery throughout conveying strong emotion.
There are times when being alone with our thoughts is
the only answer...
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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wonderful comments and thoughtful input. so pleased that you enjoyed this. yes indeed, solitude sometimes is the answer, especially for us artistic types! thank you kindly, mikey
Comment from adewpearl
excellent use of enjambment to keep your thoughts flowing from line to line
a steel wheel's mechanism - add the apostrophe for possessive
I love the personification of the jealous moon
beautifully evocative expression of emotion
Brooke
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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excellent use of enjambment to keep your thoughts flowing from line to line
a steel wheel's mechanism - add the apostrophe for possessive
I love the personification of the jealous moon
beautifully evocative expression of emotion
Brooke
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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High praise indeed. so very much appreciated. wonderful to be understood. I suppose that is the only thing really. warmest thanks and regards, mike
Comment from Lylise
This, to me, is the best thing you've written and posted so far. It elevates your work to that of one who must be acknowledged and praised. This is flawlessly penned and your presentation is breathtaking.
The content is haunting and so visual. You have captured pure need here which is not easy to do. The intricacies of yearning and desire are so well represented that you just fall into this piece and experience all of it.
This flows like warm honey and has a distinct beginning, middle and end. Also not easy to do when broaching this subject.
...your smile obscuring a jealous moon... brilliant.
A worthy post for these sometimes clueless masses. I don't think this will be the case, though. This is beautiful.
Very, very well done!
Lynda
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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This, to me, is the best thing you've written and posted so far. It elevates your work to that of one who must be acknowledged and praised. This is flawlessly penned and your presentation is breathtaking.
The content is haunting and so visual. You have captured pure need here which is not easy to do. The intricacies of yearning and desire are so well represented that you just fall into this piece and experience all of it.
This flows like warm honey and has a distinct beginning, middle and end. Also not easy to do when broaching this subject.
...your smile obscuring a jealous moon... brilliant.
A worthy post for these sometimes clueless masses. I don't think this will be the case, though. This is beautiful.
Very, very well done!
Lynda
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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I really can't describe how happy this makes me. So satisfying to be fully understood. It erase any negative thing I have heard. I know that yours is an opinion that I trust. you are too kind with your praise. (even though you destroyed me in a contest with M&Ms!) your humble little poet, mikey
Comment from Brocha1
Hi Michael, how do you manage to write so fast?
I must say I definitely prefer your free verse. This is a superb example of free verse. Solitude is the birthing ground for inner peace.
loved this line-"your smile obscuring a jealous moon"
" together the darkness and I console each other."
a beautiful flowing piece.
In the first verse I don't think you need the comma after but,although I was impressed how the rest of the punctuation in the first verse especially added to the flow.
I also found the last line a little weak after such a beautiful heartfelt soliloquy.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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Hi Michael, how do you manage to write so fast?
I must say I definitely prefer your free verse. This is a superb example of free verse. Solitude is the birthing ground for inner peace.
loved this line-"your smile obscuring a jealous moon"
" together the darkness and I console each other."
a beautiful flowing piece.
In the first verse I don't think you need the comma after but,although I was impressed how the rest of the punctuation in the first verse especially added to the flow.
I also found the last line a little weak after such a beautiful heartfelt soliloquy.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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bless you. I am much more at home with free verse. but, I was determined to write a sonnet if nothing else to prove that we free verse poets could do that if we wished. goodness how silly that is. hahaha!! still struggling with punctuation but improving. thanks for the input on that. I will revisit the last line and give it some thought, great review and helpful advice. thank you very much, mike
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I didn't mean to imply that your metered poems are not good-they really are but rather i admire your tenacity in trying to master metered verse when you are such a natural at free verse.
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Amazing, how fast you can put a poem together! I wish I had your spirit, your getting better and better with less SPAG. Enjoyed your poem and you never know what to expect from you---Mike, flexible. Keep sending us more . . . your a lean---mean---writing machine! best luck Michael, wackydo
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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Amazing, how fast you can put a poem together! I wish I had your spirit, your getting better and better with less SPAG. Enjoyed your poem and you never know what to expect from you---Mike, flexible. Keep sending us more . . . your a lean---mean---writing machine! best luck Michael, wackydo
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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hahaha! Stripes. John Candy about to mud wrestle hot chicks. "I'LL DO IT!!!" I wrote this awhile back, but, the free verse stuff just kind of pours out. the stupid sonnets are a lot of work. work bad. free verse good. I was reading some stuff I wrote when is was a teenager. maybe I will throw a couple in. mike
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hahaha! Stripes. John Candy about to mud wrestle hot chicks. "I'LL DO IT!!!" I wrote this awhile back, but, the free verse stuff just kind of pours out. the stupid sonnets are a lot of work. work bad. free verse good. I was reading some stuff I wrote when I was a teenager. maybe I will throw a couple in. mike
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Your busting my gut---Mike, you ought to be a comedian. Yeah, them sonnets do look difficult. Dang---it's been a long time since I saw that flick, a dandy! You definitely, got the imagination Mike. wackydo
Comment from Sylvia Page
Hello Michael,
I cannot say enough about this poem... it is an extraordinary piece. I like the message and it is so insightful with great imagery your words describe so artfully... It paints a wonderful word picture, it is in fact music to my ear.
Good write.
Cheers
Sylvia
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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Hello Michael,
I cannot say enough about this poem... it is an extraordinary piece. I like the message and it is so insightful with great imagery your words describe so artfully... It paints a wonderful word picture, it is in fact music to my ear.
Good write.
Cheers
Sylvia
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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that is so wonderful to hear as I sit here reading in the dark with the rain coming down in the desert. it hardly ever rains here. a perfect moment for me. like nature read my poem and is indulging me. thank you for these lovely encouraging words. deeply appreciated. smiles, mike
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Most appreciated. Welcome anytime. Rain is great and God's gift to nature.
:)
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Most appreciated. Welcome anytime. Rain is great and God's gift to nature.
:)
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Most appreciated. Welcome anytime. Rain is great and God's gift to nature.
:)
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Most appreciated. Welcome anytime. Rain is great and God's gift to nature.
:)
Comment from djsaxon
Really moving piece, mike. I have learned to be alone (not lonely) and this really resonates.
It is not my fellows that I seek
for they are wrapped in their own longings and unable
to truly understand that we are singular creatures
No one could fully understand my mind and my heart
and I am too weary to appreciate intention
My favorite stanza. Thank you for sharing - DJ
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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Really moving piece, mike. I have learned to be alone (not lonely) and this really resonates.
It is not my fellows that I seek
for they are wrapped in their own longings and unable
to truly understand that we are singular creatures
No one could fully understand my mind and my heart
and I am too weary to appreciate intention
My favorite stanza. Thank you for sharing - DJ
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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so pleased that you picked that particular stanza. it ties in with your comment "learned to be alone (not lonely)". a perfect way to put it. thank you very much for the encouraging words, mike