First Kiss
First Kiss at the cafe27 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Sorry my dear this is not a 5/7/5 poem.
A 5-7-5 follows the structure of a Haiku. It has three lines. The first line has 5 syllables. The second line has 7 syllables. The third line has 5 syllables again.
I noticed several told you this was not a 5/7/5 but no one bothered to tell you what was a 5/7/5. Keep writing. Nancy
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Sorry my dear this is not a 5/7/5 poem.
A 5-7-5 follows the structure of a Haiku. It has three lines. The first line has 5 syllables. The second line has 7 syllables. The third line has 5 syllables again.
I noticed several told you this was not a 5/7/5 but no one bothered to tell you what was a 5/7/5. Keep writing. Nancy
Comment Written 10-Sep-2013
Comment from angeleyesofgod
Amazing poem, I love the simplicity of it all, honestly can't say anything I didn't like about it. I love it all, great job to the author its so very good.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2013
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Amazing poem, I love the simplicity of it all, honestly can't say anything I didn't like about it. I love it all, great job to the author its so very good.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2013
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thank you so much
Comment from britbratchick
Wow amazing poem can't think of anything I didn't like about it, its honestly an amazing piece of work. So good I love it. I love how simple it is. Great job
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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Wow amazing poem can't think of anything I didn't like about it, its honestly an amazing piece of work. So good I love it. I love how simple it is. Great job
Comment Written 10-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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thank you so much
Comment from chadsdance
Love this poem, can't think of anything wrong with it. Its so very good, great job to the author well done. I give it a five stars. So very good.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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Love this poem, can't think of anything wrong with it. Its so very good, great job to the author well done. I give it a five stars. So very good.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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thank youi
Comment from 9999pool
Is it important that people like us as a person?
Perhaps, we should first ask - how can i be a better person and answer that question truthfully and honestly first.
If we do not like ourselves, needless to say, why get a second opinion in the negative to condemn ourselves more? Smiles.
Be the best we can be inside our hearts and try more understanding, compassion, love, forgiveness and kindness. In time, there is never a need to ask if people like us, as long as we are convinced we like ourselves as we are and truly believed so. That's the best guarantee.
No need to hope but worked towards a definite 'yes' without even having to ask this simple question ever again, smiles.
Good write and well penned.
Cheerio, Ritchie. :))
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2013
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Is it important that people like us as a person?
Perhaps, we should first ask - how can i be a better person and answer that question truthfully and honestly first.
If we do not like ourselves, needless to say, why get a second opinion in the negative to condemn ourselves more? Smiles.
Be the best we can be inside our hearts and try more understanding, compassion, love, forgiveness and kindness. In time, there is never a need to ask if people like us, as long as we are convinced we like ourselves as we are and truly believed so. That's the best guarantee.
No need to hope but worked towards a definite 'yes' without even having to ask this simple question ever again, smiles.
Good write and well penned.
Cheerio, Ritchie. :))
Comment Written 10-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2013
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thank YOU
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Welcome. My pleasure as always.
Cheerio, hugs, Ritchie. :))
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thank you
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Welcome.
Cheerio, best, Ritchie. :))
Comment from Chap Man
swandrth, I'm confused about your 5-7-5 poem. It has a lot of feeling and thought and liked it for that reason, but what the rules? Chap Man
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swandrth, I'm confused about your 5-7-5 poem. It has a lot of feeling and thought and liked it for that reason, but what the rules? Chap Man
Comment Written 09-Sep-2013
Comment from ravenblack
This is not in 5-7-5 format. Also, a line like " within the depths to/ in a slow wonder".. in the depths to where? Also the end line " do you like me?" Seems to come out of nowhere. Change the category and revise this otherwise good poem.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2013
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This is not in 5-7-5 format. Also, a line like " within the depths to/ in a slow wonder".. in the depths to where? Also the end line " do you like me?" Seems to come out of nowhere. Change the category and revise this otherwise good poem.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2013
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THANK YOU
Comment from daeneam
A very creative haiku with 3 stanza. The message on dreaming about herself is clearly conveyed by the author. I like the poem. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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A very creative haiku with 3 stanza. The message on dreaming about herself is clearly conveyed by the author. I like the poem. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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thank you so much
Comment from Keelan Cloud
The flow and form were good. It had lyrics that I personally cannot understand. However, I know there are some people who'd like this poem. so good job.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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The flow and form were good. It had lyrics that I personally cannot understand. However, I know there are some people who'd like this poem. so good job.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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thank you
Comment from TAB_that's me
This poem is good but it is not a 5-7-5 poem. A 5-7-5 consists of only 3 lines with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second line and 3 syllables in the third line.
~Teresa~
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This poem is good but it is not a 5-7-5 poem. A 5-7-5 consists of only 3 lines with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second line and 3 syllables in the third line.
~Teresa~
Comment Written 09-Sep-2013
