Searching for forgotten moments
Some things are just broken17 total reviews
Comment from Patti R.
A very bittersweet little lune K. I can only imagine your feelings at the moment you realized she wasn't who you were looking for. How could she be? You have to assume her reasons for leaving you in the care of others was for your own well-being...perhaps she was not equipped to take care of a child. But still, I can't imagine your longing for that mother figure that so many take for granted.
Patti
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
  |
A very bittersweet little lune K. I can only imagine your feelings at the moment you realized she wasn't who you were looking for. How could she be? You have to assume her reasons for leaving you in the care of others was for your own well-being...perhaps she was not equipped to take care of a child. But still, I can't imagine your longing for that mother figure that so many take for granted.
Patti
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
-
It manifests itself in many ways. I have had girlfriends say I act like a little kid when we were intimaate. i was still that little kid searching for his mothers love. crazy hu?
-
Totally NOT crazy, man! I've done some crazy things, too, longing for my mother, whom I was taken from at age 4 1/2. So I hear ya.
Comment from joneau2
Given what you said in your notes, I consider your poem quite sad, but nevertheless excellent! You have a gifted way of expressing yourself in such few words. I hope you find peace and fulfilment in the future ... there are answers that He provides.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
|
Given what you said in your notes, I consider your poem quite sad, but nevertheless excellent! You have a gifted way of expressing yourself in such few words. I hope you find peace and fulfilment in the future ... there are answers that He provides.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
-
That was an answerer that he provided that's for sure. Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, keimosobie, you did anexcellent job writing this poem about abandonment that didn't go away after you found your mother. i wish you the best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
|
this is very well written, keimosobie, you did anexcellent job writing this poem about abandonment that didn't go away after you found your mother. i wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review
Comment from Curly Girly
I can identify with this sad verse. I lost contact with my father for 14 years and I feel the same way.
Well worded and to the point:
I searched for so long.
I found you.
Still left with longing.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
|
I can identify with this sad verse. I lost contact with my father for 14 years and I feel the same way.
Well worded and to the point:
I searched for so long.
I found you.
Still left with longing.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
-
Thank you for your understanding comments
Comment from ennahanid
Your beautifully presented piece with the sad words and your notes are really touching. I can't help but feel that you quite possibly learnt a valuable lesson from your mother and her abandonment by holding those you love close to you. Thank you for this - Dinah
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
|
Your beautifully presented piece with the sad words and your notes are really touching. I can't help but feel that you quite possibly learnt a valuable lesson from your mother and her abandonment by holding those you love close to you. Thank you for this - Dinah
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
-
Definitely did. Thanks
Comment from modestreject22
Nice job on the lune format. Perfect syllables per line and really a powerful and revealing poem in just a couple of lines. Keep up the hard work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
|
Nice job on the lune format. Perfect syllables per line and really a powerful and revealing poem in just a couple of lines. Keep up the hard work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
-
thanks for the encouraging review.
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in excellent syllable count and structure for the Lune
good alliteration in long/left with longing
and in searched/still
a soulful expression of emotion - I read your author's notes and the emotions in your poem really tell the story - we often fantasize about the people in our lives when they simply don't live up to our expectations
Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
|
Your poem is in excellent syllable count and structure for the Lune
good alliteration in long/left with longing
and in searched/still
a soulful expression of emotion - I read your author's notes and the emotions in your poem really tell the story - we often fantasize about the people in our lives when they simply don't live up to our expectations
Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
-
Thanks Brooke. Its been a while.
