I Don't Know Why
A Non-Fiction in about 800 words.Why it happens.............88 total reviews
Comment from GaryCecil
I think you did a fine job with this. It was a nice insight into the life of a man wanting more and wish he had this or that. It did start to drag at the end, but that was just because of the style, you know. I think you held it together just fine and wrote an entertaining piece.
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I think you did a fine job with this. It was a nice insight into the life of a man wanting more and wish he had this or that. It did start to drag at the end, but that was just because of the style, you know. I think you held it together just fine and wrote an entertaining piece.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2013
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
We all have lofty ambitions and wish we could do more than humanly possible without total insanity. We can't be all things to all people, even ourselves. If we make life better for at least one other person and take care of ourselves, that is success in my book. Best to you in whatever endeavors you chose to follow~Debbie
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We all have lofty ambitions and wish we could do more than humanly possible without total insanity. We can't be all things to all people, even ourselves. If we make life better for at least one other person and take care of ourselves, that is success in my book. Best to you in whatever endeavors you chose to follow~Debbie
Comment Written 26-Jul-2013
Comment from Roshni M.W.
Good work. Your writing captures very well the outlandish wishes that most people including myself generally engage in. Your use of listing was very well done. However I think that the last sentence should use some consideration. I thought that the problem wasn't that something else happens but that the wishes don't happen. Overall you did a great job!
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Good work. Your writing captures very well the outlandish wishes that most people including myself generally engage in. Your use of listing was very well done. However I think that the last sentence should use some consideration. I thought that the problem wasn't that something else happens but that the wishes don't happen. Overall you did a great job!
Comment Written 26-Jul-2013
Comment from Mai Mai
This is an interesting piece. It is nice to dream, but I found it curious that you have all these things you want but none of it seems to overflow to help others. Just a thought. I found the following error.
and release my release my pet - 1 'release my' too many
Good job and good luck.
Mai Mai
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This is an interesting piece. It is nice to dream, but I found it curious that you have all these things you want but none of it seems to overflow to help others. Just a thought. I found the following error.
and release my release my pet - 1 'release my' too many
Good job and good luck.
Mai Mai
Comment Written 26-Jul-2013
Comment from sujo1964
What an interesting excerpt on the "wish I would have's" of life. Your use of simple words and the word "Every" really made this piece stick, and the ending is perfect. Great Job!
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What an interesting excerpt on the "wish I would have's" of life. Your use of simple words and the word "Every" really made this piece stick, and the ending is perfect. Great Job!
Comment Written 26-Jul-2013
Comment from Jonesy
I noticed the author hasn't responded to any of the reviews, so I'll keep this short because wonder if it'll even be read.
I rated this on two factors. The first is there are so many SPAG errors it was extremely difficult to read. Not to understand really, but frustrating to see so many mistakes.
Second, this seems incredibly self-indulgent. Apparently this is "self improvement" for the author because it certainly can't be for anyone else. Because of that, I don't see how anyone can relate to this.
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I noticed the author hasn't responded to any of the reviews, so I'll keep this short because wonder if it'll even be read.
I rated this on two factors. The first is there are so many SPAG errors it was extremely difficult to read. Not to understand really, but frustrating to see so many mistakes.
Second, this seems incredibly self-indulgent. Apparently this is "self improvement" for the author because it certainly can't be for anyone else. Because of that, I don't see how anyone can relate to this.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2013
Comment from Darkhorse555
so much reviewing to messages of god blessed beautiful animals and nature right through to the four seasons in words you penned a lovely piece
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so much reviewing to messages of god blessed beautiful animals and nature right through to the four seasons in words you penned a lovely piece
Comment Written 26-Jul-2013
Comment from PrincessinPurple
For 2400 words I think you need to place a comma between the 2 and 4.
own a 6-storie apartment you should put an s at the end of storie.
Those are all I saw for correction at this time. I read it but it didn't make any real sense to me. Exactly what are you trying to tell us?
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For 2400 words I think you need to place a comma between the 2 and 4.
own a 6-storie apartment you should put an s at the end of storie.
Those are all I saw for correction at this time. I read it but it didn't make any real sense to me. Exactly what are you trying to tell us?
Comment Written 25-Jul-2013
Comment from William Walz
Unlike some of your other posts, this one is far more understandable and much easier to relate to. I hope it's not your bucket list. Very well-written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
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Unlike some of your other posts, this one is far more understandable and much easier to relate to. I hope it's not your bucket list. Very well-written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2013
Comment from amahra
Whew! You have a vivid imagination and I share it. Great writing of things you might want to do. I've thought of at least four or five you these myself, though I won't say which ones. Just a few things below:
[you have, "release my" twice]
Every rainy season I think I shall fly kites, balloons and [release my release my] pet pigeons and parrots in the sky.
[did you mean to say, "live in my friends or live with my friends?]
Every end-evening I think I shall stay and live in my friends and enjoy living with them across the globe for months.
[did you mean to say are air-conditioned fully, do you need the word, "are?"
Every summer I think I shall have all my buildings, houses, rooms, cars, shops or dwelling places are air-conditioned fully.
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Whew! You have a vivid imagination and I share it. Great writing of things you might want to do. I've thought of at least four or five you these myself, though I won't say which ones. Just a few things below:
[you have, "release my" twice]
Every rainy season I think I shall fly kites, balloons and [release my release my] pet pigeons and parrots in the sky.
[did you mean to say, "live in my friends or live with my friends?]
Every end-evening I think I shall stay and live in my friends and enjoy living with them across the globe for months.
[did you mean to say are air-conditioned fully, do you need the word, "are?"
Every summer I think I shall have all my buildings, houses, rooms, cars, shops or dwelling places are air-conditioned fully.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2013