A Haiku (summer meadow)
A summer Haiku, kigo word and less than 17 syllables20 total reviews
Comment from misscookie
I love the artwork you choose to go with your poem
It took my breath away.
To think God the
greatest gardener could create wonderful land.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
I love the artwork you choose to go with your poem
It took my breath away.
To think God the
greatest gardener could create wonderful land.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your time and the nice rating. Have a lovely week, Ine
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You're very welcome, have a blessed day. Until next time.
Comment from Treischel
A lovely Haiku, with that summer kigo, in a creative 4-2-4 format (only 10 syllables) that is very economical in size, but huge in expression. Well done!
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
A lovely Haiku, with that summer kigo, in a creative 4-2-4 format (only 10 syllables) that is very economical in size, but huge in expression. Well done!
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your time and the nice rating. Have a lovely week, Ine
Comment from donaldww
You've done an excellent job on this haiku. You've used concrete imagery and have a perfect kigo word for summer: summer. :)
The only thing you need to work on is having a clear cut between two images. That is called the kire. Right now, it reads as though its one continuous statement.
This could be done in one of three ways:
1. Add a cutting punctuation mark.
summer meadow--
filled with
wildflowers
2. move the top line to the bottom, and add an article.
filled with
wildflowers . . .
a summer meadow
3. add a word to the second section that create a cut
green hills
freckled with wildflowers . . .
a summer meadow
You might find another way to show the cut.
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
You've done an excellent job on this haiku. You've used concrete imagery and have a perfect kigo word for summer: summer. :)
The only thing you need to work on is having a clear cut between two images. That is called the kire. Right now, it reads as though its one continuous statement.
This could be done in one of three ways:
1. Add a cutting punctuation mark.
summer meadow--
filled with
wildflowers
2. move the top line to the bottom, and add an article.
filled with
wildflowers . . .
a summer meadow
3. add a word to the second section that create a cut
green hills
freckled with wildflowers . . .
a summer meadow
You might find another way to show the cut.
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your time and the nice rating. Have a lovely week, Ine
Comment from TAB_that's me
This is a very good summer haiku Ine. It meets all the requirements and syllable counts of a haiku. Beautiful picture too.
~Teresa~
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
This is a very good summer haiku Ine. It meets all the requirements and syllable counts of a haiku. Beautiful picture too.
~Teresa~
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your time and the nice rating. Have a lovely week, Ine
Comment from beccabootie123
simple and perfect yet says a lot. nicely written and picture fields the total view. makes me feel good to read and look at it. good job and well written withing genre.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
simple and perfect yet says a lot. nicely written and picture fields the total view. makes me feel good to read and look at it. good job and well written withing genre.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your time and the nice rating. Have a lovely week, Ine
Comment from wordsareus
I always thought a haiku had to follow a 5-7-5 or 3-5-3 format but I guess I was wrong. Your poem is well written and presented.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
I always thought a haiku had to follow a 5-7-5 or 3-5-3 format but I guess I was wrong. Your poem is well written and presented.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your time and the nice rating. Have a lovely week, Ine. No, according to Donald it has not but he has not reviewed it yet.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Ine, nice haiku, great visual presentation and strong words choices with descriptive imagery well penned.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
"summer meadow
filled with
wildflowers " // Total 9
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
Hi Ine, nice haiku, great visual presentation and strong words choices with descriptive imagery well penned.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
"summer meadow
filled with
wildflowers " // Total 9
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your time and the nice rating. Have a lovely week, Ine
Comment from GWHARGIS
I liked the simplicity of the haiku. The message was forthright and the image was peaceful and uplifting. Nice picture that went with it. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
I liked the simplicity of the haiku. The message was forthright and the image was peaceful and uplifting. Nice picture that went with it. Nicely done.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your time and the nice rating. Have a lovely week, Ine
Comment from SteveY
Well you penned this one very well in addition to following the limited format perfectly. I'm always amazed when poets can say so much in such few lines.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
Well you penned this one very well in addition to following the limited format perfectly. I'm always amazed when poets can say so much in such few lines.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your time and the nice rating. Have a lovely week, Ine
Comment from MizKat
Hi Ine,
This is a cute haiku with only 4 - 2 - 4 syllables. I've never read one before, but I think you did a great job on it. The picture goes with it well too.
Have a blessed day!
Kat
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
Hi Ine,
This is a cute haiku with only 4 - 2 - 4 syllables. I've never read one before, but I think you did a great job on it. The picture goes with it well too.
Have a blessed day!
Kat
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your time and the nice rating. Have a lovely week, Ine