Temptation wins!
Constant tug of war between mind and intelligence!20 total reviews
Comment from 4hisglory
It does look very tempting! Why do good things have to be bad for your?
I like your poem. I just have a couple suggestion that might make it flow even better:
- One step back (leave off the ward)
- melts in heat (leave out the word "the")
Don't give up on the battle! Blessings, LaVonne
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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It does look very tempting! Why do good things have to be bad for your?
I like your poem. I just have a couple suggestion that might make it flow even better:
- One step back (leave off the ward)
- melts in heat (leave out the word "the")
Don't give up on the battle! Blessings, LaVonne
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Thank you very much for taking your time to read and giving me suggestions.i am going to change it .
Comment from NHazelwood
This poem flows effortlessly the author puts the reader in the moment!You can feel the inner struggle in each line and this is a well thought out poem.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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This poem flows effortlessly the author puts the reader in the moment!You can feel the inner struggle in each line and this is a well thought out poem.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Thank you very much.
Comment from adewpearl
good use of rhyming couplets
good alliteration in snow/scoop/sauce
and in scales swing
and in seduction's snare
and in battle of the bulge
and in tongue tingles
excellent descriptive detail that sure has me hungry
great humor - many readers who love their sweets will identify with this poem :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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good use of rhyming couplets
good alliteration in snow/scoop/sauce
and in scales swing
and in seduction's snare
and in battle of the bulge
and in tongue tingles
excellent descriptive detail that sure has me hungry
great humor - many readers who love their sweets will identify with this poem :-) Brooke
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Thank you very much ,Brooke
Comment from GeraldS
This is an excellent contest entry, and one with which virtually everyone can identify. For some its ice cream, for others a donut or pastry, or maybe just a handful of candy. I like the reference to the scale as "that blasted machine." Good luck in the voting!
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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This is an excellent contest entry, and one with which virtually everyone can identify. For some its ice cream, for others a donut or pastry, or maybe just a handful of candy. I like the reference to the scale as "that blasted machine." Good luck in the voting!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Thank you very much for your great review.
Comment from stanzasandstuff
Very well written. I'm sure the scales are wrong and the washing machine is shrinking your clothes! Great picture, I'm getting hungry myself! Hee Good luck with the contest!
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Very well written. I'm sure the scales are wrong and the washing machine is shrinking your clothes! Great picture, I'm getting hungry myself! Hee Good luck with the contest!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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I am afraid not.for the last four years i have not lost even 100 gms inspite of the fact that i walk for 45 mts every day and i have sacrificed most of my favorite food.i am getting frustated.Thank you for reading.
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Me TOO! What's up with that? If I ate any less I'd be malnourished!
Comment from wiljacro
HI! Been there, done that, got the rollicking! But, wasn't it so worthwhile?? This is a real smiley piece that brings back memories of when I was desperate to lose weight, now, at 82 I wonder why I bothered! Good luck in this Comp. wiljacro.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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HI! Been there, done that, got the rollicking! But, wasn't it so worthwhile?? This is a real smiley piece that brings back memories of when I was desperate to lose weight, now, at 82 I wonder why I bothered! Good luck in this Comp. wiljacro.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Yes true .i am also wondering why should i bother,but when your movements slow down ..thank you for a lovely review
Comment from despiser
What, you're going to eat them both? Lol. Cute rhymer. I think willpower is one word though. Love the last line haha. Good contest contender.
-D
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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What, you're going to eat them both? Lol. Cute rhymer. I think willpower is one word though. Love the last line haha. Good contest contender.
-D
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Oh no only one .i never seem to lose weight .then why .....thank you
Comment from Matthew M.
I can totally relate to this poem. It is such a struggle sometimes to fight that battle of the bulge. And it is frustrating when my hands do opposite of what my mind says. The feeling about an hour later is guilt. However, sometimes I can suppress that thought and think about doing it again, ha ha.
I liked your fun poem about the temptation of a delicious treat.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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I can totally relate to this poem. It is such a struggle sometimes to fight that battle of the bulge. And it is frustrating when my hands do opposite of what my mind says. The feeling about an hour later is guilt. However, sometimes I can suppress that thought and think about doing it again, ha ha.
I liked your fun poem about the temptation of a delicious treat.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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It is frustrating when we skip all those much loved foods and still dont lose weight.i walk for 45 mts everyday.in the last four years the weight has not gone down even by 100gms!so i dont feel guilty whe occasionally i indulge.thank you very much for reading.
Comment from lorijean
A yummy poem, so delicious and sweet, temptation indeed, don't do it girl, once they touch the lips, it will be forever on the hips.... great poem
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reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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A yummy poem, so delicious and sweet, temptation indeed, don't do it girl, once they touch the lips, it will be forever on the hips.... great poem
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Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Thank you very much
Comment from dmt1967
This poem I can relate to as I myself is on the dreaded diet lol I must admit your picture looked good enough to eat good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
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reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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This poem I can relate to as I myself is on the dreaded diet lol I must admit your picture looked good enough to eat good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
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Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing.