Short
Viewing comments for Chapter 56 "Misty Morning"Shorter stories
21 total reviews
Comment from vkmack
Very sweet and full of longing. I like this from the pup's POV. It works well. Poor little guy just tugs at our heartstrings, as does his very kind master. Wonderful character development. I want to know what happens next. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Very sweet and full of longing. I like this from the pup's POV. It works well. Poor little guy just tugs at our heartstrings, as does his very kind master. Wonderful character development. I want to know what happens next. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Thank you for taking some time to read this and for your encouraging review.
Comment from aakemp
Hmmm, your story is pretty much error free, but I don't see a resolution to it, and I'm not sure I see a conflict either. Maybe I'm dense, but frankly, I don't "get" it.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Hmmm, your story is pretty much error free, but I don't see a resolution to it, and I'm not sure I see a conflict either. Maybe I'm dense, but frankly, I don't "get" it.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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This is an 'iceberg' story where most of it is understood or filled in by the reader. I project an old man with a shotgun, suffering lots of pain, who has made a 'decision'. He leaves the dock to motor out to the lake somewhere and blow his brains out. The internal conflict is both physical and mental. The resolution is anticipated with the boat moving out into the mist. I would have used those last seventy words to explain that if I had not been limited to a hundred words for the story. Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Patti R.
I really think this is an excellent 100 word story! So poignant, the meaning coming through with the line: The pain of standing, sitting and pulling the rope, all reinforced his decision.
Why would he take a shotgun on a fishing boat?
Why not take the pooch?
Very sad.
Clever write. No spag!
Patti
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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I really think this is an excellent 100 word story! So poignant, the meaning coming through with the line: The pain of standing, sitting and pulling the rope, all reinforced his decision.
Why would he take a shotgun on a fishing boat?
Why not take the pooch?
Very sad.
Clever write. No spag!
Patti
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Thank you very much for your kind and discerning review.
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
great job in completing a story in just a hundred words. it didn't lag or anything. i enjoyed reading you. good luck with this in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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great job in completing a story in just a hundred words. it didn't lag or anything. i enjoyed reading you. good luck with this in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Thank you for your kind and encouraging review.
Comment from Charlene0513
A sad and sullen moment in time when the heart of a dog is put on hold as his master decides to spend his days alone and
being at ease with the decisions in life.
(I truly love reading in between the lines)
Charlene
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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A sad and sullen moment in time when the heart of a dog is put on hold as his master decides to spend his days alone and
being at ease with the decisions in life.
(I truly love reading in between the lines)
Charlene
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Thank you for your kind and discerning review.
Comment from Cherokee messenger
Well written --it really pulled me in and kept my interest. I always like the challenge of reading particular accents, too.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Well written --it really pulled me in and kept my interest. I always like the challenge of reading particular accents, too.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review.
Comment from BeasPeas
Scottish accent is great--adds to the story's dimension. Skipper is adorable. Line, "He looked back up at his friend Skipper, a big ball of beige yarn," touching and wonderfully descriptive. Nice.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Scottish accent is great--adds to the story's dimension. Skipper is adorable. Line, "He looked back up at his friend Skipper, a big ball of beige yarn," touching and wonderfully descriptive. Nice.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Thank you for your reading this. I'm so glad you found things to like in it.
Comment from Mrs Jones
The story is sad and one which this reader will remember. The writing is excellent. Well done in just 100 words. Good luck in the contest with this winner.
Cheers
Rose
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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The story is sad and one which this reader will remember. The writing is excellent. Well done in just 100 words. Good luck in the contest with this winner.
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Thank you so very much for taking the time to review this. I'm glad you found something good in it.
Comment from Econ Teacher
I couldn't figure out the gibberish of the Scottish words until the author notes. I think it needs to be a little clearer. Otherwise, the story is a nice little scene of a dog that wants to go on the boat with his master. Dogs are always so loyal.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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I couldn't figure out the gibberish of the Scottish words until the author notes. I think it needs to be a little clearer. Otherwise, the story is a nice little scene of a dog that wants to go on the boat with his master. Dogs are always so loyal.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Thank you for reviewing. The story should suggest that the old guy is going out on the boat to blow his brains out. The Scottish brogue has gotten mixed reviews. Happy day.
Comment from humpwhistle
I think this is excellent, author. I comment your courage
in using the brogue. It adds to our knowledge of your character without wasting words.
I further commend you for giving we readers credit for understanding the story without having to hit us over the head with the resolution.
Very well done.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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I think this is excellent, author. I comment your courage
in using the brogue. It adds to our knowledge of your character without wasting words.
I further commend you for giving we readers credit for understanding the story without having to hit us over the head with the resolution.
Very well done.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Thank so very much for reviewing this and for the huge rating.