All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Can We Wish For Rain?"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
56 total reviews
Comment from Kingsland
Your title mentions rain. I just posted a poem that is actually about rain. Yours is more of a metaphor. I liked your poem and its poetic voice... John
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Your title mentions rain. I just posted a poem that is actually about rain. Yours is more of a metaphor. I liked your poem and its poetic voice... John
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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thank you so much, John - I'll have to go read yours now! :)Sharyn
Comment from adewpearl
good alliteration and powerful sensory appeal and emotion in the screaming silence stanza
good alliteration in bleached bone
and in scorched, sun-seared - all your details of setting contribute to such intense emotion
and I like your use of this new form :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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good alliteration and powerful sensory appeal and emotion in the screaming silence stanza
good alliteration in bleached bone
and in scorched, sun-seared - all your details of setting contribute to such intense emotion
and I like your use of this new form :-) Brooke
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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thx so much Brooke - this is a fun form to experiment with! :)Sharyn
Comment from paul O'Brien
All time best says it all.
I'm amazed that something so expressive as this has done so well- it isn't the normal flowers and spring and all feel good things but it does express a well known experience with expertise.
well done within the technical structure.
"Each 3rd line rhyme schemes going from top to bottom of poem should be ( I.E: ???) I understand a,a,b,b,c,c,a. "
Again,well done Garthl will be proud
Paul
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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All time best says it all.
I'm amazed that something so expressive as this has done so well- it isn't the normal flowers and spring and all feel good things but it does express a well known experience with expertise.
well done within the technical structure.
"Each 3rd line rhyme schemes going from top to bottom of poem should be ( I.E: ???) I understand a,a,b,b,c,c,a. "
Again,well done Garthl will be proud
Paul
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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just means that each third line has to adhere to a rhyme scheme, so 3rd line of first 2 stanzas, are a,a ... third line of stanzas 3 and 4 are b,b ... third line of 5 and 6 and c,c, ... and then it's back to "a" for the third line of the last (7th) stanza. Actually it's a really easy form, Paul. I think you'd be a natural at this one!
:)S
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I'll give it a go when tom lets me back in
:) paul
Comment from J. Dark
Awesome poem, Sharyn, which perfectly conveys loneliness within a relationship. You've got great alliteration and similes in this piece and how brilliant is that form? Just FABULOUS!
Kindest of regards
Julie :-)
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Awesome poem, Sharyn, which perfectly conveys loneliness within a relationship. You've got great alliteration and similes in this piece and how brilliant is that form? Just FABULOUS!
Kindest of regards
Julie :-)
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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There you are - Julie, thank you SO much for your lovely and very much appreciated SIXER! YEAH! This is such an easy form to play with - you should give it a go! :))))Sharyn
Comment from angelmagnet
Powerful - your words project an image of being lost in the desert (I live there, I can easily imagine) of your heart. No, you're not lost in the desert, the heart is lost in the desert and prays for someone with whom to do a rain dance. I think this work is terrific. Thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Powerful - your words project an image of being lost in the desert (I live there, I can easily imagine) of your heart. No, you're not lost in the desert, the heart is lost in the desert and prays for someone with whom to do a rain dance. I think this work is terrific. Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Bless you, angel, for reading, understanding, and, of course, for a lovely SIX! always so appreciated!':) Sharyn
Comment from Sasha
How nice, another form I am unfamiliar with. I especially enjoyed this one. Your descriptions resonated with such truth. This is a question many of us has been posed with and the answer is different for each of us. Superbly written, awesome emotional imagery and on a subject I can personally relate to. Very, very nice work with this one. Good luck in the prompt.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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How nice, another form I am unfamiliar with. I especially enjoyed this one. Your descriptions resonated with such truth. This is a question many of us has been posed with and the answer is different for each of us. Superbly written, awesome emotional imagery and on a subject I can personally relate to. Very, very nice work with this one. Good luck in the prompt.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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bless you Sue - I won - yeah! :)))Sharyn
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Sharyn this is well penned and a beauty for the contest.
I enjoyed how you crafted this one.Thanks for sharing it and good luck in the contest.
Maureen
"screaming silence
parched, like desert, and
sucked dry" // What fabulous imagery in this one.:D
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Sharyn this is well penned and a beauty for the contest.
I enjoyed how you crafted this one.Thanks for sharing it and good luck in the contest.
Maureen
"screaming silence
parched, like desert, and
sucked dry" // What fabulous imagery in this one.:D
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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thx so much, Maureen - even shitty days are good grist for one's writing mind, hmm?
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very wel lwritten, visionary, you did an excellent job writing this eleven 77 poem for the wish poem about the wish for a love to be revived. i enjoyed reading it, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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this is very wel lwritten, visionary, you did an excellent job writing this eleven 77 poem for the wish poem about the wish for a love to be revived. i enjoyed reading it, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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thx sweets! :)S
Comment from beccabootie123
as always well done. love the picture and color utilized in this piece. the sentiment is heartfelt. well written good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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as always well done. love the picture and color utilized in this piece. the sentiment is heartfelt. well written good luck in the contest
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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THX SO MUCH BECCA! :)SHARYN
Comment from hifein
good contest entrant. liked the way you conveyed your message in this eleven-77. the presentation, color and graphic grab you right away. we usually wish for sunshine, but here the wish for rain is a creative twist. good job.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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good contest entrant. liked the way you conveyed your message in this eleven-77. the presentation, color and graphic grab you right away. we usually wish for sunshine, but here the wish for rain is a creative twist. good job.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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thx so much hifein! :)Sharyn