Reviews from

Rabbit

Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Thinking of You"
A Boy's Story of the rural South

39 total reviews 
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Excellent
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Hi Bill,

I think grandma's have a built in 'up to something' detector when it comes to grandchildren - perhaps because they've been there, done that, had kids, caught them ...

This made fun reading and provoked a few memories of days spent 'mooching' around with friends and a cousin or two when I was about the same age. Life seemed a lot simpler then.

Patrick

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2013
    Hi Patrick. I do think Grandma's have an antenna! Bill
Comment from Writingfundimension
Excellent
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I totally loved this chapter, Bill. It had a Mayberry feel to it, which made it delightful for me. I sorta figured that Carol had more than a little shoppin' in her mind. Finally got to her real motive when you two were in the conservatory. Great writing and a delightful authenticity to this chapter. Warm regards, Bev

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2013
    Thanks Bev. I'm glad you stopped by. Bill
reply by Writingfundimension on 08-Feb-2013
    You're welcome, Bill.
Comment from Shirley B
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh Bill this is a wonderful chapter. I would 'feel' this chapter. With Rabbit and Carol just running around and wasting time, all the way up to the almost discovery of the 'girl parts', I identified with this story. :) Keep those well written chapters coming, Shirley

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2013
    Hmmm - what part did you identify with? Lol. Bill
reply by Shirley B on 08-Feb-2013
    I will never tell. LOL
Comment from kiwisteveh
Excellent
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First time I've peeked in on this so I don't know the begiining of the story - this chapter has some interest with the introduction of Carol and their 'day off'. However, I'm wondering about the relevance of the places they go to or is it just to show character development. Similarity of appearance is mentioned a couple of times - maybe that foreshadows later developments too...

Steve

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2013
    Thanks for reading Steve. Always a problem to write a novel. If you have time, chapter one is an intro.
Comment from kashmayank
Excellent
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staying with grandparents in vacations are one of the best memories of childhood and you are writing a nice story about it all the best

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2013
    Thanks for reading and your kind comments. Bill
Comment from LaDonnaCole
Excellent
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Rabbit's point of view is well developed and his voice is distinctive.

The pacing is spot on, not too quick, not too slow. There is a meandering feeling as they are moving through town.

I was completely taken into the story and could visualize the setting and characters easily.

I found no typos or grammar errors that weren't intended.

Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2013
    Thanks for reading and your kind feedback. Bill
Comment from sweetwoodjax
Excellent
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this is very well written, bhogg, you did an excellent jjob writing this chapter where rabbit goes on an adventure with his cousin and almost gets to see her naked. i enjoyed reading it

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2013
    Thanks Pam. Icm glad you read and appreciate your comments. Bill
Comment from kcross11
Excellent
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what was removed was brains and good looks.- great line!

The escalator scene was a great way to build the differences in characters.

You have done an excellent job writing a book tailored for kids and their curiosities- as well as their minds. I always love reading about rabbit!

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2013
    Thanks for reading and your kind comments.
Comment from Norbanus
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Ah, the myhsteries of life, especially when you're at the age of these two kids. He's probably right, he'll probably never get to see Carol naked. But, you never know for sure.

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
    Thank you so much for reading and your kind comments! Bill
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Excellent
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bhogg,

This chapter is very entertaining and engaging. I grew up in the country in middle Tennessee. So much of the story I can relate to. Getting to go to the movie matinee on Saturday while the parents shopped was a real treat. My grandparents lived less than a mile away, and their house was the gathering place on Sunday afternoons. I had an uncle just older than me and an aunt about a year younger, and there were plenty of cousins in our age group.

The entire family was poor, so money was tight. If we kids all pooled our money, we occasionally came up with a quarter for a pack of cigarettes. By the time they were divided up, we were lucky if we got two. With no toys, we always found plenty of mischief to get into.

The story is well-written and comes across like Rabbit wrote it. I thoroughly enjoyed the read.

Until next time,
Curtis

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
    Thanks Curtis - sounds like we have a lot in common. Bill