My Life in words
Viewing comments for Chapter 89 "God Bless The Little Ones."All of my poems of release.
18 total reviews
Comment from Rondeno
The first really good thing is the way you "elide" (miss out) half the story. All we readers know is, there are hands they'll never hold, and there are life stories which will never be told. It's so much more effective than spelling out the whole thing.
Next, you have that tragic refrain, "God bless the little ones", coming in at the end of each stanza. Readers love to get their bearing, and the chorus is reassuring as well as adding to the sadness.
Three rhymes in each stanza is a tall order, but you pull it off smoothly.
You make the philosophical point at the end (the ideal place for it!) that none of us can count on tomorrow. And you reinforce the point that these kids were robbed of all that they could have become.
I'm assuming, Jacqueline, that this is a tribute to the Newtown, Connecticut children who were murdered in November. It is the most dignified and most beautiful of the three dozen or so that I've read. Very well done indeed!
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2013
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The first really good thing is the way you "elide" (miss out) half the story. All we readers know is, there are hands they'll never hold, and there are life stories which will never be told. It's so much more effective than spelling out the whole thing.
Next, you have that tragic refrain, "God bless the little ones", coming in at the end of each stanza. Readers love to get their bearing, and the chorus is reassuring as well as adding to the sadness.
Three rhymes in each stanza is a tall order, but you pull it off smoothly.
You make the philosophical point at the end (the ideal place for it!) that none of us can count on tomorrow. And you reinforce the point that these kids were robbed of all that they could have become.
I'm assuming, Jacqueline, that this is a tribute to the Newtown, Connecticut children who were murdered in November. It is the most dignified and most beautiful of the three dozen or so that I've read. Very well done indeed!
Comment Written 14-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2013
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Thank you so much for your very detailed and lovely review Michael. Yes it was primarily about the little children there, but also for all the others that have lost their lives in the same way. Thanks for your very kind rating it is so much appreciated. :) Jacqueline xx
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
This is very well written my friend yes god bless all the little ones that are taken so young still they are in gods hands and we will be all reunited one day regard's Jill
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2013
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This is very well written my friend yes god bless all the little ones that are taken so young still they are in gods hands and we will be all reunited one day regard's Jill
Comment Written 13-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2013
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Thanks Jill it is always a pleasure to hear from you. :) Jaq xx
Comment from Spike the second
Wonderful Jaq
I honestly question my faith when the innocents die like this and some evil toe rag of a drug dealer, murderer or thief is allowed to live. It's just not any justice.
When our biggest fund raiser and children's TV personality had been abusing children since 1965 and escapes punishment from us by dying, one hopes that he meets retribution and goes to hell.
Great poem my friend.
Blessings
Spike
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2013
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Wonderful Jaq
I honestly question my faith when the innocents die like this and some evil toe rag of a drug dealer, murderer or thief is allowed to live. It's just not any justice.
When our biggest fund raiser and children's TV personality had been abusing children since 1965 and escapes punishment from us by dying, one hopes that he meets retribution and goes to hell.
Great poem my friend.
Blessings
Spike
Comment Written 13-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2013
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Thanks so much for your kind review and wonderful rating Spike. I know how you feel. :) Jaq xx
Comment from mruss1
Graet job my friend reads quite superbly but the message is the key. Just remember they are never gone as long as they live in our hearts and minds. I am indeed quite honored to read this and be a part of this. This is why I write. Even if it just changes the little world around me this is enough:) Great picture of your daughter by the way she has great eyes(the mirror to ones soul!) Take care and thanks fopr all you do because of you I am......Mark
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Graet job my friend reads quite superbly but the message is the key. Just remember they are never gone as long as they live in our hearts and minds. I am indeed quite honored to read this and be a part of this. This is why I write. Even if it just changes the little world around me this is enough:) Great picture of your daughter by the way she has great eyes(the mirror to ones soul!) Take care and thanks fopr all you do because of you I am......Mark
Comment Written 13-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Thank you Mark. Your poem was inspirational which made my job easier. The profile pic of us three on New Years eve was a bit of fun..lol. She is my pride and joy. Thank you Mark xx
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You are always welcome, but your poem was thanks enough.I just want to make people think and maybe reflect a little on the life that is flying by around us. To remember that we all have a part to play:) Mark
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Thank you so much for your wonderful rating my friend. Jackie xx
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Thank you Mark. Your poem was inspirational which made my job easier. The profile pic of us three on New Years eve was a bit of fun..lol. She is my pride and joy. Thank you Mark xx
Comment from Andy MacDonald
Sensitively written, beautiful and tragic. When you take time to think about everything they will never experience, setting all those thoughts and feelings to rhyme is no mean feat, but you've managed it effectively and poignantly here.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Sensitively written, beautiful and tragic. When you take time to think about everything they will never experience, setting all those thoughts and feelings to rhyme is no mean feat, but you've managed it effectively and poignantly here.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Thank you so much Andy, your review and rating is much appreciated. :) Jaq x
Comment from Kirrily Morris
We have all been touched by this tragedy. Thank you for these words. We all need to be strong for the families left behind. I love the positive message the last verse holds.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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We have all been touched by this tragedy. Thank you for these words. We all need to be strong for the families left behind. I love the positive message the last verse holds.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Thank you for your kind review Kirrily. :) Jaq x
Comment from October21
Beautiful rhyming, Jaq, and the message is filled with such melancholy. It is so sad that these children will never grow up to live their lives. This poem is so emotive and endearing and I can't think of a better way to bring peace to their memories and show the tragedies of that terrible event. And 'those little hands' just reminds us how small they were. 'God bless the little ones' puts such emphasis on the meaning. Inspiring work.
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reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Beautiful rhyming, Jaq, and the message is filled with such melancholy. It is so sad that these children will never grow up to live their lives. This poem is so emotive and endearing and I can't think of a better way to bring peace to their memories and show the tragedies of that terrible event. And 'those little hands' just reminds us how small they were. 'God bless the little ones' puts such emphasis on the meaning. Inspiring work.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Thanks Shenel I went to sleep with Marks's poem 'Twenty Six' on my mind and this just kept tugging me out of sleep. :) Jaq xx
Comment from Earl of Oxford
Excellent, powerful, sad and dramatic repeated line, Jaq.
Indeed they'll miss all the wondrous adventures you mention, but if there's any consolation, they'll also miss the heartbreak and pain of adhlthood - though that will be no consolation to the unconsolable parents.
Very well thought out and written
Best wishes, Ray
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reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Excellent, powerful, sad and dramatic repeated line, Jaq.
Indeed they'll miss all the wondrous adventures you mention, but if there's any consolation, they'll also miss the heartbreak and pain of adhlthood - though that will be no consolation to the unconsolable parents.
Very well thought out and written
Best wishes, Ray
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Thanks Ray, I couldn't get a wink of sleep last night as it kept waking me up. :) Jaq xx
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You must have got SOME 'winks', Jaq, as otherwise you'd have no winks to 'wake up' from. :-)
Just me trying to be a smart Alec.
Ray xx
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Hahahahaha too true, they are just a distant memory now though Ray :) Jaq xxx
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Have a nice lunch washed down with some wine, and catch up on the kip this afternoon. That's what I'll be doing. Life is so exciting LOL x
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Lol no wine today, well not as yet anyway, but you may have sown the seeds now. (doesn't take much) :) Jaq xx