Reviews from

All Those Puzzling Pieces

Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Butterfly in a Box"
What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?

116 total reviews 
Comment from jaydub99
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a powerful piece. With no notes it leaves the reader to wonder, to think. It is deeply personal and speaks of many controlling relationships. Human resilience and passion is everywhere in this piece. I liked the cadence of how it moved across the page. Once of the best I have read all week. Nice job. Still, I am left to wonder what was the inspiration for this piece?

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
    thx jay! yours to wonder, my friend ... thus no author notes, right?
Comment from Melspoems
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is great, I think you describe well the thoughts of someone who has been trapped in an abusive relationship but is now feeling the strength the break free.
Great use of metaphor.
Love the strength of the butterfly.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
    Thx Mel!
Comment from serenae_dc
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

this is kind of scary. nice twist at the ending. actually the last stanza is my favorite. you can still work on the flow of your poem thought. but still a good read.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
    thx serenae -
    The site offers a six star scale for ranking work. Here's a guideline:
    Six Stars (Exceptional: Simply Outstanding)
    Five Stars (Excellent: Enjoyable and no revisions needed)
    Four Stars (Good: Adjustments needed)
    Three Stars (Below average)
    Two Stars (Below Average: Needs lots of work)
    One Star (Poor: Major revision required)
Comment from robina1978
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a great free verse. You described so well how this guy put you off. Loved it being a butterfly in a box. To have light you punched holes.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
    thx Robina!
reply by robina1978 on 20-Sep-2012
    welcome, Ine
Comment from THE FREAK
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Solitary confinement is every poets and free willed person worst nightmare. For we wage war against mediocrity and stubbornness, fighting to become free, whatever our vision of freedom is.
Keep fighting on Poetic soldier...
Great read from a great lady
All the best
The freak

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
    thx Freaky!
Comment from christianpowers
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very good poem, V.

I liked a lot of lines in here. It's angry and vindictive, but in a nice way. LOL

This was the best line, and appropriately placed...

>>> Careful
when
you
next
open
my
box <<<

Good job with this.

Christian

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
    thx Christian!
Comment from G.B. Smith
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello again Sharyn
In a way I feel this is kinda like Pandora's box, it can lead to a whole lot of trouble. I like the light idea. We truly can grow
Bear

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
    it can indeed, if not used with restrained power & strength Bear! I'm with you on that one my dear - revenge for revenge's sake would be perpetrating the same ill, yes?
Comment from Cool Beans
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like the tonality of the poem. I also like how an innocent butterfly, unassuming, is about to flip it and the prey is about to become the predator. You create strength in an otherwise feeble creature. It definitely gives the audience a picture of what the power of self worth can do. Good job.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
    thank you so much CB - you'v got my message loud & clear! :) Sharyn
Comment from EMB
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a great poem, and as I read it, I was saying, "Good for you, my friend! Good for you!" This speaks of never settling for less than what you know your deserve from someone. I loved the mention of the sorry movies. Excellent.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
    Thank you so much Edward - you've really got my message! I'm so glad! :) Sharyn
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This looks like a story of a new awakening... the story of someone who is ready to fly alone and to take on the world. I love your red-and-white presentation... works well. Giddy

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
    thx Giddy!