Comment from Tweedypie

Excellent

Jewell, this is a beautiful rhyme.

Rise up out of the ashes, my dear.
Feel the sun shine on your face
Look toward the heavens, Love
Sense all beauty to embrace.

This something that we have to do. It's not easy though, but it is far better than staying in the ashes.

This is certainly a lovely verse.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2005

Comment from mheflin

Good

this is good work but some of the lines messed up the flow and caused it to be uneasy, you have a great idea on encouraging others and that's great, keep your head up trying reading over it and if it's just the way you want it leave it.

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 Comment Written 22-Feb-2005

Comment from shelley kaye

Excellent

very cool pic!!
great upbeat feeling verse!
understandable
well written

but these two lines.......
"Sense all beauty to embrace.

For beauty comes in many forms" <- maybe find another word for beauty??

just a thought

thanx for sharing :)

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2005

Comment from lynner

Excellent

Very nice. Perhaps a few suggestions for improvement if I may?

See the sun shine on your face
Perhaps it could be Feel the sunshine on your face?

Feel the joy that's waiting you
Feel the joy that waits for you?

But don't look back, go forward
Don't look back, go forward

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2005

Comment from Kingsland

Excellent

shake off the dust and breath anew>breathe
other than that Jewell
this poem is just fine
when are going to talk
..................John

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 Comment Written 22-Feb-2005