The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "James and Angela"A family learns their father is a serial killer
22 total reviews
Comment from RebelRose
assist her [is] learning [in]
I would suggest limiting the use of 'Grandmother' so many times, especially in the third paragraph. It is pretty well established who you are talking about.
Another great chapter that grabs and holds the readers interest.
reply by the author on 15-May-2012
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assist her [is] learning [in]
I would suggest limiting the use of 'Grandmother' so many times, especially in the third paragraph. It is pretty well established who you are talking about.
Another great chapter that grabs and holds the readers interest.
Comment Written 14-May-2012
reply by the author on 15-May-2012
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Thanks for catching the spags.
Comment from Halfree
Another good chapter that moves the story along and adds another element with the chance of romance for James. I think these quiet interludes with James and the grandmother add some needed background for the story.
Sorry about the eye problem. I like the bold type...might use it for my next posting.
I think the story is unfolding very nicely. Good luck with the rest.
reply by the author on 15-May-2012
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Another good chapter that moves the story along and adds another element with the chance of romance for James. I think these quiet interludes with James and the grandmother add some needed background for the story.
Sorry about the eye problem. I like the bold type...might use it for my next posting.
I think the story is unfolding very nicely. Good luck with the rest.
Comment Written 14-May-2012
reply by the author on 15-May-2012
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Glad you like it. I´m blind without it.
Comment from words
So pleased to see that James has something to look forward to.
It has been a long time since he has had any ray of hope in his life.
I am not sure that I believe that Rachael will want to jump back into the nightmare with James ... it is a long way from being over, but I am pleased that he has a date to look forward to.
Hugs,d
reply by the author on 15-May-2012
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So pleased to see that James has something to look forward to.
It has been a long time since he has had any ray of hope in his life.
I am not sure that I believe that Rachael will want to jump back into the nightmare with James ... it is a long way from being over, but I am pleased that he has a date to look forward to.
Hugs,d
Comment Written 14-May-2012
reply by the author on 15-May-2012
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I agree.
Comment from adewpearl
I'm so glad to see you're feeling well enough to post, Valerie :-)
time for Grandmother to fully recover, but - add comma
typo - On the Way HONE
typo - James, you have to STOPO blaming
typo - You are DESTIND for great things
typo - so many SKICK killers before him
Criminalogy - Criminology
I want to understand why people do what they do? - drop the question mark
Why they make the choices THE make? - drop question mark
Why a person becomes a sociopath? - drop the question mark
why the feel the need to kill? - drop question mark
answers to your questions, but do you - add comma
don't get a head of yourself - ahead
Large print never ever bothers me - it is just tiny fonts that drive me crazy :-)
Another excellent chapter, my friend. If anyone complains to you about anything, tell them they have to answer to me!!! :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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I'm so glad to see you're feeling well enough to post, Valerie :-)
time for Grandmother to fully recover, but - add comma
typo - On the Way HONE
typo - James, you have to STOPO blaming
typo - You are DESTIND for great things
typo - so many SKICK killers before him
Criminalogy - Criminology
I want to understand why people do what they do? - drop the question mark
Why they make the choices THE make? - drop question mark
Why a person becomes a sociopath? - drop the question mark
why the feel the need to kill? - drop question mark
answers to your questions, but do you - add comma
don't get a head of yourself - ahead
Large print never ever bothers me - it is just tiny fonts that drive me crazy :-)
Another excellent chapter, my friend. If anyone complains to you about anything, tell them they have to answer to me!!! :-) Brooke
Comment Written 14-May-2012
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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Thanks for catching all the spags. I am having so much trouble with my good eye that I am beginning to think that I may have to find a new form of expressions--other than writing. The doctor is doing all she can but at this point there isn't much more she can do. As I have been known to say, BUMMER!
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You still write just as well - you just need someone to have your back to locate the little nits - and you have me! Don't dare stop writing :-)
Comment from psalmist
It's good to have you back. I'll have to admit, I was a concerned about you as I read, there were a number of typos which I usually never encounter in your writings. I'm so sorry to hear about your eyes. I do hope you are improving.
I had to chuckle as I read about Grandmother, because the thought went through my mind that she sounded just like James, and a couple of sentences later, you said almost the exact same thing! It was nice to have a brief respite from horror of the whole story with this chapter. I'm pleased James is "finding" himself in all this, and a possible romance as well. Well done. I look forward to more and your continued improvement. Linda
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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It's good to have you back. I'll have to admit, I was a concerned about you as I read, there were a number of typos which I usually never encounter in your writings. I'm so sorry to hear about your eyes. I do hope you are improving.
I had to chuckle as I read about Grandmother, because the thought went through my mind that she sounded just like James, and a couple of sentences later, you said almost the exact same thing! It was nice to have a brief respite from horror of the whole story with this chapter. I'm pleased James is "finding" himself in all this, and a possible romance as well. Well done. I look forward to more and your continued improvement. Linda
Comment Written 14-May-2012
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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No excuses allowed but I am having a terrible time with my so called good eye. I think there is a real possibility this will be my last book. There doesn't seem to be much the doctor can do for it so it is probably time to move on.
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No excuses allowed but I am having a terrible time with my so called good eye. I think there is a real possibility this will be my last book. There doesn't seem to be much the doctor can do for it so it is probably time to move on.
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I am so sorry to hear that. You have a wonderful talent. Linda
Comment from c_lucas
An unusual amount of errors, but I'm sure you will get them corrected. It is good to see you writing again.
On the Way Hone (Home)
Everyone noticed Grandmother had the same ability as James (me).
a show forthe (for the) visitor.
you have to stopo (stop)blaming
You are destind (destined) for great things.
many skick (sick)killers before him
where know (no) one knew who I was
I understand our (your) need to know
don't get a head (ahead)of yourself
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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An unusual amount of errors, but I'm sure you will get them corrected. It is good to see you writing again.
On the Way Hone (Home)
Everyone noticed Grandmother had the same ability as James (me).
a show forthe (for the) visitor.
you have to stopo (stop)blaming
You are destind (destined) for great things.
many skick (sick)killers before him
where know (no) one knew who I was
I understand our (your) need to know
don't get a head (ahead)of yourself
Comment Written 14-May-2012
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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No excuses allowed but I am having a terrible time with my so called good eye. I think there is a real possibility this will be my last book. There doesn't seem to be much the doctor can do for it so it is probably time to move on.
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Thanks so much for catching all the spags. No excuses allowed but I am having a terrible time with my so called good eye. I think there is a real possibility this will be my last book. There doesn't seem to be much the doctor can do for it so it is probably time to move on.
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I wish you the best of luck, Jada. Charlie
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Smurphy
How nice to see you back in action!
And nothing wrong in my book about making your text large and bold.
This chapter is fully up to your usual high standards, with James on top form.
Ron
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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Hi Smurphy
How nice to see you back in action!
And nothing wrong in my book about making your text large and bold.
This chapter is fully up to your usual high standards, with James on top form.
Ron
Comment Written 14-May-2012
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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Thank. I am glad the bold print doesn't bother you.
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Thanks. I am pleased you liked this one.
Comment from missy98writer
Sasha,
James could walk on water after receiving a call from beautiful Rachael. Chapter fifty-one is sensationally written with wondrtful imagery. I immensely enjoy your great dialogue, very good narrative voice and excellent detailed writing. I hope you're feeling better? I would recommend your latest chapter to other reviewers to ready. Thank you for entertaining me in with your story telling. Keep on writing your entertaining book chapters with a creative pen. Magnificent day to you.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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Sasha,
James could walk on water after receiving a call from beautiful Rachael. Chapter fifty-one is sensationally written with wondrtful imagery. I immensely enjoy your great dialogue, very good narrative voice and excellent detailed writing. I hope you're feeling better? I would recommend your latest chapter to other reviewers to ready. Thank you for entertaining me in with your story telling. Keep on writing your entertaining book chapters with a creative pen. Magnificent day to you.
Melissa.
Comment Written 14-May-2012
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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He definitely is walking on water. I thought it was about time he has something to cheer about.
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He is walking on water, the dear boy. It was time for something good to happen to him.
Comment from Cranial Thinker
Hello my friend,so nice to read your work again and please no need for to apologize at all because I truly understand
and real just enjoy reading your work any time....This write
I wish I had a six to give you,for it is very deserving of
one....James is finding out were he gets his abilities to
remember everything from witnessing the way his grand mother's mind grabs hold of things so fast....Job so well done my friend and I am so very pleased you are back....Cranial Thinker
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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Hello my friend,so nice to read your work again and please no need for to apologize at all because I truly understand
and real just enjoy reading your work any time....This write
I wish I had a six to give you,for it is very deserving of
one....James is finding out were he gets his abilities to
remember everything from witnessing the way his grand mother's mind grabs hold of things so fast....Job so well done my friend and I am so very pleased you are back....Cranial Thinker
Comment Written 14-May-2012
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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No excuses allowed but I am having a terrible time with my so called good eye. I think there is a real possibility this will be my last book. There doesn't seem to be much the doctor can do for it so it is probably time to move on. Thanks so much for the virtual 6, I sincerely appreciate it.
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No excuses allowed but I am having a terrible time with my so called good eye. I think there is a real possibility this will be my last book. There doesn't seem to be much the doctor can do for it so it is probably time to move on. Thanks so much for the virtual 6, I sincerely appreciate it.
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I am so sorry,but this caused my God given windows to rain very emotionally and extremely deeply....Cranial Thinker
Comment from xotic flotsam
James has yet to surrender to his reality choices. Sometimes possessing a lofty IQ imposes burdens of expectations. I like Grandma's tenacity. She may be a little cranky, but she is still sharp. Keep going. Its a pleasant read.
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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James has yet to surrender to his reality choices. Sometimes possessing a lofty IQ imposes burdens of expectations. I like Grandma's tenacity. She may be a little cranky, but she is still sharp. Keep going. Its a pleasant read.
Comment Written 14-May-2012
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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James needs to take a little time to reevaluate his options but I understand his need to understand.
