Gima The Beginning
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Gima: Taken"fantasy adventure
19 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
For some warriors, there is something intoxicating about a female prisoner. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
  |
For some warriors, there is something intoxicating about a female prisoner. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
-
Thank you, charlie. Yes, these bounty hunters find anything female and prisoner their right to defile. It was good of you to tie that in to this chapter. It may go over many as just a Vermel trait. :) ellen
-
You're welcome, Ellen. Charlie
Comment from Tina55
Ducks' wings lift from the glassy water to fly high, far into daylight's distance. (Great line!)
The trees are empty, save for speechless leaves. There are no witnesses.(Superfantastic!)
I've finally figured out what this writing reminds me of: 24. Do you know that show? With Keifer Sutherland? Where each episode is a frantic-paced, hair-pulling, life-threatening hour? You write like that. I never know what is waiting around the next corner, but I'm sure there's always something that I'm not expecting. Great work, Ellen!
Great tension in Gima's section...a whole new reason to bite my nails.
Small amber eyes watch and follow. (Ooo, great hook)
He prepares for his first thrust but his dangles interfere with penetration as they argue for priority. I never can control these things.
(What a great detail. Can you imagine if men had to control more than one? LOL)
The excitement and tension built in the moments leading up to the almost rape are fantastic.
Another great post!!
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
 |
Ducks' wings lift from the glassy water to fly high, far into daylight's distance. (Great line!)
The trees are empty, save for speechless leaves. There are no witnesses.(Superfantastic!)
I've finally figured out what this writing reminds me of: 24. Do you know that show? With Keifer Sutherland? Where each episode is a frantic-paced, hair-pulling, life-threatening hour? You write like that. I never know what is waiting around the next corner, but I'm sure there's always something that I'm not expecting. Great work, Ellen!
Great tension in Gima's section...a whole new reason to bite my nails.
Small amber eyes watch and follow. (Ooo, great hook)
He prepares for his first thrust but his dangles interfere with penetration as they argue for priority. I never can control these things.
(What a great detail. Can you imagine if men had to control more than one? LOL)
The excitement and tension built in the moments leading up to the almost rape are fantastic.
Another great post!!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
-
Thank you, Tina for your fantastic words and lovely reward of a six for this transitional chapter. I hoped to take things up a notch as we enter the final stage. Now, I have to make it even better. Setting a high expectation for myself. Wish me luck. LOL :)
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi ellen
Another great chapter.
Although you are writing about basically Pulp Fiction characters (I am a great fan of Pulp Fiction incidentally) you have managed to portray them with real emotions - such as fear and grief.
High quality writing.
Ron xx
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
|
Hi ellen
Another great chapter.
Although you are writing about basically Pulp Fiction characters (I am a great fan of Pulp Fiction incidentally) you have managed to portray them with real emotions - such as fear and grief.
High quality writing.
Ron xx
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
-
Thank you, Ron for your review and kind words toward my writing. I'm trying to improve with each post. THEN to go back and spruce up the beginning chapters. Again thank you for sticking with us, the cast and crew. LOL :) ellen xx
Comment from Writingfundimension
A very nicely-paced chapter, Ellen. It's hard to think that Trell is going to suffer from his belief that Gima is dead, but he could never have overcome all of Gima's captors. Your descriptions of his grief are inspired!
Great dialogue among the villains which sparks memories of the Under Earth culture. Looks like we're headed back down there!
Excellent chapter, my friend.
Warm regards, Bev
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
|
A very nicely-paced chapter, Ellen. It's hard to think that Trell is going to suffer from his belief that Gima is dead, but he could never have overcome all of Gima's captors. Your descriptions of his grief are inspired!
Great dialogue among the villains which sparks memories of the Under Earth culture. Looks like we're headed back down there!
Excellent chapter, my friend.
Warm regards, Bev
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
-
Yep, we're going back down. Thank you for your seeing Trell's grief as inspired and liking the villains dialogue. They are interesting to write. :) ellen
-
You're very welcome, Ellen.
Comment from Spitfire
What a bunch of creepy looking characters. Again, a lot of action, most of it centered around Gina who seems to always be in trouble. Love the image of Ruel allowing his dangles their freedom. Sounds like this could be an underground comic book if illustrated.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
|
What a bunch of creepy looking characters. Again, a lot of action, most of it centered around Gina who seems to always be in trouble. Love the image of Ruel allowing his dangles their freedom. Sounds like this could be an underground comic book if illustrated.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
-
Thank you, Spitfire for reading and reviewing these creepy characters. LOL What is an underground comic book?
-
A comic book with language and violence and sex. My son-in-law writes and illustrates some-- or at least used to.
-
So it's no longer a Disney movie when it leaves the Valley. LOL
Comment from Wardine
I really enjoyed this piece and am very excited to read more as well. I love the fantasy genre and you have seemed to compell me. Thank you for sharing!!
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
|
I really enjoyed this piece and am very excited to read more as well. I love the fantasy genre and you have seemed to compell me. Thank you for sharing!!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
-
Thank you, Wardine for your wonderful complements and generous review. I hope you do stick around for more of 'Gima.'
Comment from puppy_love388
You have a very broad vocabulary. The way you write creates vivid images in my head. The story plot is amazing as well. Truly amazing writing.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
|
You have a very broad vocabulary. The way you write creates vivid images in my head. The story plot is amazing as well. Truly amazing writing.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
-
Thank you, puppy_love388 for your kind and generous review. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter.:) barking dog
Comment from ScarletClearwater
Thanks to your extensive author notes, I was able to keep up. Wish I could have been there from the start, though this piece makes me want to go back and read more. It was very vivid and well penned. Kudos!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
|
Thanks to your extensive author notes, I was able to keep up. Wish I could have been there from the start, though this piece makes me want to go back and read more. It was very vivid and well penned. Kudos!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
-
Thank you, Scarlet. Yep we are getting close to the end, but if you did continue from here you would still understand it. Pike and his gang have just entered the picture and the band that is assembled at Trell's camp are a very eclectic bunch.(two humans, a vermel, a vertant, a bear and a cougar.) LOL
Comment from Janie King
With your double warnings and a picture that kind of reminds of maybe the twilight zone I have decided to continue my whimp out program and wish you the best and move on. God bless.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
|
With your double warnings and a picture that kind of reminds of maybe the twilight zone I have decided to continue my whimp out program and wish you the best and move on. God bless.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
-
This one is not for you, Janie. We go again now into the violent world. Thank you for your sweet remembering of me. My daughter's murder trial was last week. The fellow was found guilty of two counts of second-degree murder and two counts of robbery with a fire-arm. Sentencing is yet to come. Minimum for each is 25 years , maximum for each count is life. I don't think he'll be out to harm anyone else, ever.
-
Such a sad time..thank God they aren't going to let him out where he can kill someone else. Praying for you. God bless.
-
Thank you, Janie. :)ellen xxx